Kept Without Chains
by Poison Lush
Summary: Bella's pregnancy causes Edward to withdraw from her. What happens when she decides to leave to have the baby without him? B/E J/N Rated M for some language and lemons.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N~ Here is our take on Edward's reaction to Bella's pregnancy. There are lots of twists and turns planned, we hope you enjoy the ride.**

**The Twilight Series and all it's characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

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_You hold me without touch, _

_you keep me without chains. _

_I never wanted anything so much _

_than to drown in your love_

_and not feel your rain.  
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**BELLA POV  
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Edward refuses to look at me. We're almost back to Forks and I haven't gotten more than a grunt in response for hours, so I sit in silence with one hand absentmindedly rubbing across my stomach. It feels like time is standing still and I'm itching to get home, to get to Rosalie. I knew Rose would be on my side and as soon as I realized Edward had left his phone on the counter I had to call her. She was going to help me. I'm keeping this baby- our baby. I flinch at the memory of my conversation with Edward, standing in the house on Isle Esme. He called our baby "that thing" and I don't think I will ever be able to forgive him. I force myself to follow him off the plane and into the waiting towncar, sneaking a glance at his face as I sit down.

Edwards takes my hand and murmurs, "This will all be over soon."

I nod in response though I don't mean the same 'over' that he does. I don't pull my hand away, but leave it limp wrapped in his. If he notices he isn't letting on.

When we arrive in Forks, I can't help but feel a mixture of terror and relief. I leave Edward to get our luggage and slowly walk up to the large house, counting each step until I get to the door. It immediately swings open and I have never been more happy to see Rosalie.

She hisses at Edward, "I've got her" when he tries to pull me from her grasp.

I let her take me, waiting until we get to her and Emmett's room before I break down. I know Edward isn't far behind and is probably right outside the door but I am thankful for at least the mask of privacy. He knows better than to enter this room, Rosalie would have his head.

We stay in there for a while, hours maybe? Time means nothing. She doesn't speak and lets me cry. I cry for me, for Edward, for our baby... When it feels like there's nothing left in me, I try to gain my bearings and look around the room. Everything is white- Rosalie obviously decorated this room. I'm hit with the realization that I've only been in here once. Rosalie and I have never been close and part of me is sad that only now that I am pregnant is she accepting of me. The rest of me is relieved that I have an ally.

"Carlisle is waiting," Rosalie says quietly as she smooths my hair back. She isn't good at this type of thing and I know I'm making her nervous.

I look up at her with wide eyes and take both of her hands in mine squeezing as hard as I can.

"You can't let him take my baby Rose, you can't-" I stop my words when she nods, knowing I made the right decision in asking for her help.

Rosalie stands and walks to the door, leaving me to get myself together for a moment. I use the bottom of my shirt to dry my face before following her out of the room, not surprised when I see Edward standing across the hall. He's leaning against the wall and has that look, that look that's been killing me inside since the moment I told him that I was pregnant. He takes my elbow and looks pointedly at Rose, but she doesn't back down. Standing between them I feel so small.

I take a deep breath when I see Carlisle and Esme waiting outside of his office- Alice, Jasper, and Emmett not far behind them. I want to run, hug each and every one of them. Instead I stay planted between Rose and Edward, my protector and the person she's trying to protect me from. _My husband._ The thought is almost comical. I know he won't hurt me.

Emmett grins and his voice booms, "I asked you to bring me a souvenir Bells but I never expected this!"

Edward is not amused and tightens his grip on my elbow. I can't help but smile and remind myself to thank Emmett later. I haven't smiled in days.

"I would've brought you a nice tropical boar to sink your teeth into, but it wouldn't fit in my carry-on."

Even Jasper laughs at this and I see Esme trying not to smile.

Emmett stops for a moment, no doubt wondering if I'm making a joke about him being a pig. It makes me smile again and I pat his arm as I get to the group. I've missed him. I've missed them all.

I hug Alice and Esme first, hugging each of them probably a little too long. I then move on to shyly hug Emmett and Jasper. I step back between Edward and Rose, and each firmly grab my elbows.

Carlisle clears his throat and looks pointedly at Edward, a mental exchange obviously occurring as Edward releases my elbow. Rose follows suit and I shuffle to Esme, giving her another small hug before stepping in the office, slightly taken aback by the hospital bed and medical equipment littering the usually pristine room.

"Get out of here Rose," Edward snarls.

I turn and see Rosalie standing defiantly in the corner of the room as Carlisle shuts the door. There is no way she is going to leave and I honestly don't want her to. She's the only one I know is on my team. Team Bella. Team Baby. I give her a look of encouragement not to back down, though she doesn't need it.

"I want her here Edward. She stays," I say in a quiet but firm voice.

The look on Edward's face almost breaks me. Carlisle looks around the room to each of us and Edward's eyes flicker to the ground. I obviously missed another unheard conversation and try not to fill myself with hope that Carlisle is on my side.

I wait until Carlisle turns around before I begin to moves to the far side of the bed as Rosalie helps me out of my clothes and into the hospital gown. All of my usual self-consciousness is gone. Edward's not looking at me anyway and Rosalie is too focused on him to care what I look like naked. It isn't until both of them audibly gasp that I notice their eyes staring at my stomach. The size of my growing belly shocks even me. My eyes lock with Edward's, pleading for him to realize that this is good- this is right. His jaw is set and he looks away from me quickly. Rosalie helps me onto the bed and I fiddle with the buttons so that I'm halfway sitting up. Carlisle finishes washing his hands at the small sink before turning to me with a sad smile.

"It's not your damn baby Rosalie," Edward practically spits out in response to Rosalie's thoughts. I turn from Carlisle to glance between Rosalie and Edward, each of them looking like they're ready to pounce.

Carlisle's voice is even and clear when he speaks.

"If you two cannot handle yourselves like adults, get out of my office. Bella needs no more stress."

This is Dr. Cullen speaking, not Carlisle, and I'm glad that someone in here is strong enough to realize this is not what I need. I need peace or at least some small form of it.

Both Rose and Edward back off. Edward looks like he's been slapped and moves around the bed to be closer to me, reaching for my hand. I let him take it, just as I did in the car, but can't bring myself to squeeze back.

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EDWARD POV

I know I'm not being what a good husband should be. I know I should be supportive, excited even. It kills me that I've upset Bella. I know that I have hurt her deeply with my reaction, my distance. She just doesn't understand. She doesn't realize what this means, how serious it is. As much as I wish we were, we aren't a normal couple having a baby. This should be a joyful event in our lives. Something we celebrate over dinner at our favorite restaurant. If I were human, if I were right for her, it would be that way. I am reminded again that I am neither of those things. Again I feel like a monster. I've hurt the one person I love more than anything, the one person I need. If she doesn't see reason, I will be the reason her life ends.

I focus on her hand, slack in mine, knowing she may never forgive me for all of this. I can deal with that, as long as she's still with me. If this thing, this creature I put in her fragile body kills her, my existence will be over. Rose's thoughts are driving me mad so I do my best to tune them out, not wanting to upset Bella or Carlisle more than we already have. I watch him put gel on Bella's stomach. A stomach that only days ago was perfectly flat under my lips...I squeeze my eyes closed forcing out the images. I did this. I am a selfish bastard. If I had controlled myself, we wouldn't be in this situation. I should be ashamed of myself. I am ashamed of myself.

Carlisle explains what he's doing and what he's looking for. I'm sure his quiet, calm voice is meant to relax Bella but I know my father. Despite his demeanor saying he's pulled together and everything is fine, I can tell he's worried. This realization puts me even more on edge. His thoughts are reciting the Periodic Table of Elements. He's trying to keep me out of his head, a really bad sign.

I do my best to keep my voice even, but it comes out in a growl, "Carlisle, what is it? What's wrong?"

Rosalie stares daggers at me and calls me an asshole with her thoughts. Bella looks panicked and I wish I could find it in me to be her rock. I want to comfort my wife, I owe her that much, but I just don't know how. Carlisle redirects his thoughts to remind me to be calm or I'm out of here. I wonder if it would be better if I leave, but I feel obligated to stay and face what I've done. Carlisle clears his throat, speaking softly, explaining that he cannot see through the placenta, and I hear nothing after that.

I'm stuck in my own mind, and I can't move even though it screams at me to be sure Bella's alright. Every moment with Bella flashes through my stream of conciousness, every ounce of hope I had left diminishes. This is not a baby. It's not some blessing resulting from the love I have for Bella and the love she has for me. It's not a little person with her brown eyes and my crazy hair or with the green eyes I had as a human and her chestnut hair. It isn't a culmination of the best parts of us. It's the worst part of me inside of my precious Bella. Though I don't need to breathe, I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me. I feel Rose push me aside and watch her hold my wife's hand. They are the team now. I am the outsider again.

Though I know it should be me at her side, I don't intervene. I can't move due to the weight I feel on my shoulders. I don't deserve to be with Bella or on her team. I never did. I was an absolute fool to let her convince me for a brief time that I might. I should have stepped aside. I should have loved Bella enough to give her up. Enough to allow her to have this life, the life she is hoping for as she rubs her belly. She could have had it with Jacob Black. She still could. I had no right to ask her to marry me. None. I am not sure how long I stand in the corner in a daze before Carlisle puts his hand on my back and walks me out. He speaks low, probably giving me words of encouragement. Though everything is fuzzy and I can't hear him, I know that's his way. I'm sure he has summoned Jasper because I feel his attempts to calm me.

They fail. 

**BPOV**

Edward finally walks into the living room where I've been sitting with Rosalie and Alice for the last hour or so. He looks like he's seen a ghost... I feel almost sorry for us, because we are not the same people we were less than 48 hours ago. He sits in the overstuffed chair closest to Alice, obviously wanting to keep the distance between him and Rose. He avoids my gaze and I wonder if he will ever be able to look at me again. I see Jasper follow shortly after and lean against the arm of the sofa with one arm around Alice's shoulders. I feel slightly numb and know he's trying to work his magic on us all, but it's not working.

I am glad that Edward's family, my family now, is surrounding us. I don't think I could bear to be alone with Edward while he's being like this.

My throat cracks when I finally speak, "Rose? I'm hungry."

She glances at me before shooting a look across the room to Edward, and I know she's debating whether she wants to leave or not. In all honesty Rose probably isn't the best person to ask to make me food, but her being in the other room might help Edward relax. He's not happy with our new sisterly bond.

My stomach growling breaks the silence. Jasper lets out a laugh and I smile a little. Everyone always knows when the human is hungry. I haven't eaten in hours and the nudger is not happy.

"Please Rose? You make the best eggs," I practically beg.

When I say the word 'egg's I can't help but turn towards Edward. He finally stops scowling at Rosalie long enough to meet my eyes, and his expression softens a bit. I hope he's remembering all of those mornings on the island. I blush slightly as everything floods back to me.

"Go make her the eggs Rose- I'm not going to kidnap her or hold her against her will," Edward says mockingly.

Is that what she's thinking? _Really?_ I scoot over to the edge of the couch when Rosalie stands, muttering to herself so low I can't make it out but I'm sure everyone else can because Edward is back to scowling.

I spread my fingers out and press the palm of my hand to my stomach, rubbing in small circles as our baby- never "that thing"- flutters and I mentally reassure him (it has to be a him, with all of those dreams I had on the island) that we'll be eating soon.

Emmett barrels down the stairs and flops on the sofa between Alice and I. I can't help but lean against him, he is the big brother I never had.

"So Bells, I guess you finally got the old man to rock your world."

I give Emm a small nod and peek over his large frame at Edward, who is still staring at the carpet.

Alice jabs Emmett with her elbow to his side and I hear the crack of what sounds like stone-on-stone. Emmett shuts up.

We sit in awkward silence until Rosalie comes in with a plate of scrambled eggs and hands it to me. I focus on eating and don't look up from the plate until it's empty, blushing furiously when I see they're all staring at me.

"Sorry... I told you we were hungry!"

At the word 'we', Edward looks like he's going to snap and heads out the front door. I stand up and shove the plate onto the coffee table. I want to go after him, my heart hurts for him... But why is he doing this to me? To us? My sadness turns to anger and I stomp out the door after him. I spot him across the yard clenching and unclenching his fists.

I stay where I am on the front porch, but speak. My voice is quiet, barely more than a whisper, but I know he'll hear me.

"Do you want me to leave?"

I take a deep breath and wait for him to turn around.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N~ Here is Chapter 2. Please r/r we would love to hear feedback! **

**The Twilight Series and all it's characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

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EPOV

If I had a heart, it would have broken in this moment. I turn around to face Bella, my face surely crumpling with the pain I feel. How could she think that? We're married. I promised her forever. I know she asked the question because of me. Because I've pushed her away and shut her out. I pull in a ragged breath, trying to keep my emotions under control.

My voice is quiet and wraught with feeling, "Of course not."

I see relief cross Bella's beautiful face and her eyes soften. "

Edward..." she starts, but I put my hand up, knowing I need to talk. To get it out. To do what I didn't do when I left her in the woods. To bare my soul and be honest.

"Bella, being on the island with you, making love to you, it made me feel like a man. A normal man. I wish I were. That I could be that for you. I would do anything to be able to give you a baby, a family. You know I can't..."

My eyes search her face and I don't like what I see there. Pity.

I continue, "I'm so scared, Bella. I'm scared that because of my selfishness I am destroying the only person I've ever loved."

Before I even know what hit me, Bella has her arms wrapped around my waist and her head on my chest. My arms instinctively go around her, and I immediately loosen my grip, afraid I'll hurt her more than I already have. She reassures me that everything is going to be alright and that I have to stop with the self blame and torture. Her little hand presses against my lower back and I feel the hum of electricity that is between us whenever we touch.

"Edward, I'm not sorry for anything that happened on Isle Esme. Not a single moment. I don't want you to be either."

She touches her stomach and I know she includes the thing in her statement. I nod tentatively, not even close to accepting everything, but I can see how exhausted she is and I don't want to argue. I just want to stay close, just like this. She is my wife, my mate, my everything and her needs come before any discussion that we need to have.

"Bella, you look so tired, let me take you upstairs and lay with you?"

She nods and smiles slightly and I sigh with relief. Though nothing is really resolved between us, we still need each other. That fact reassures me some. I pick her up bridal style and carry her back into the house. Rose immediately stands up and moves toward us and I hiss at her.

"Rosalie, stay back! I am not dealing with you right now. MY wife. MY wife needs a nap and I'm going to lay down with her. You need to chill the fuck out and leave us alone."

I don't usually use language like that. It's a very rare occurance and I'm fairly certain that Bella has never heard me talk like that. I am on edge and stressed and livid with my sister. She doesn't come any closer, but she doesn't retreat either until Bella calls her off. I glare at Rose as I turn to take Bella upstairs, gently laying her on the bed I purchased solely for her. I lay down next to my wife and put my arms around her. I tell her that I love her and she echoes the sentiment and almost immediately falls asleep.

I'm not sure how long we lay there together, but the sun goes down, the house grows quiet and I block everyone's thoughts. I'm confident Rose isn't far away, and it sickens me that my own sister feels she needs to protect my wife from me. I ask myself why, because I would never hurt my Bella. I trace the planes in her face and smile slightly when she murmurs my name in my sleep. No, I would never hurt my love. Then I look down at her sleeping form and see the bulge in her stomach and my mind screams at me that I already have. That I am a monster.

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BPOV

I wake up slowly, keeping my eyes closed. Edward is with me on the bed but feels a million miles away. I roll onto my side and pretend to still be sleeping, wanting him to stay close to me. As soon as I wake up I know we'll have to discuss this. We'll have to make a decision. Of course the decision has been made already. It was made the moment I saw the slight bulge of my stomach on the island. The first flutter. The first nudge. I sit up carefully and remember nights on this bed, trying to convince Edward to make love to me. Edward...

I wish he would stop looking at me like that, like I'm ruining everything. I can feel him moving away from me on the bed and try to not let it hurt my feelings. Someone knocks on the door and Edward goes to answer it, but only finds a tray of food on the ground. He carries it to the bed and we sit in silence as I pick at the sandwich, knowing I have to eat for the baby even though I'm not hungry right now. I get up to go to the bathroom down the hall and Edward follows me, as if he's afraid someone- Rosalie, will take me away at any moment. After everything we've been through, why am I still mortified that he can hear me pee? I finish quickly and wash my hands, frowning to myself when the button of my jeans won't close. I wiggle around hoping that it's just because I ate so much and tug as hard as I can, but the button flies across the bathroom, landing on the tile floor by the tub. Edward knocks on the door and I swing it open, blushing furiously.

"Are you okay Bella? What happened?"

I nod towards the front of my open pants and try to tug my shirt down to cover myself before walking past him back to his room. I sit with my back to the headboard, hugging a pillow to my chest. I am probably subconsciously 'protecting' the baby, but I tell myself it's just for comfort. At some point he gets up and turns on music. It's Debussy and transports me back to what feels like a million years ago, in this room with him. I want to talk to him but have no idea what to say. I know he doesn't want to hear it anyway. He's pacing the room and it's making me nervous. My eyes follow him back and forth, watching him and his reflection on this walk to nowhere. I bite my lip to stop myself from asking him to sit down.

Eventually, I drift off to sleep. I don't know for how long this time, but it's morning when I wake up. Edward is sitting beside me on the bed now, but still looks distraught. I push away the pillow I've been clinging to and struggle to sit upright. He places his hand on my back to help and that electric feeling whenever he touches me is still there. I know I must look awful and brush my fingers through my hair to try to tame it down a little.

I make another quick trip to the bathroom and notice the button of my jeans is no longer on the floor. Jasper is walking down the hall to his and Alice's room and smiles in my direction. Edward escorts me back to the room and I give Jasper a small wave, ignoring Edward's sigh. I can tell he feels that the family is choosing sides and not in his favor. We sit together on the edge of the bed a few feet apart. I focus my attention on the view in front of us. My mind wanders to Charlie, to Jacob... These people I will never say goodbye to. It wasn't supposed to be like this.

"How do you feel Bella? Are you hungry?"

His words cause me to look away from the window, asking me a simple question shouldn't be so hard for him. He's so anxious and on edge. Of course I'm hungry but I'll eat later. I shake my head no before I reply.

"I'm fine Edward but you look like you need to hunt. You should go, we- I'll be fine here."

I try to look as sincere as possible but I already know what I'm about to do. I will need Rosalie's help. I give Edward a small smile and he nods, bending down to kiss my hair. I try not to flinch but my body immediately huddles over, protectively curving around my stomach. He sighs and pulls away but I don't want him to, not yet. I lean up and wrap my arms around his neck, scooting over to sit in his lap. I want him to tell me it's okay, I want him to tell me we will get through this- me, him, our little nudger.

Part of me knows that this is the last time I will ever touch him, and I try to pretend it's like before. Was that just a few days ago? My protruding belly between us makes it impossible to pretend. He is making me choose between him and our baby. In every other situation I would choose Edward, no questions asked. In every other situation I have chosen Edward. But this is bigger than either of us.

I sit on the bed and watch him change clothes, trying to memorize every inch of his perfect skin, how effortlessly he moves.

For a brief moment he looks over at me and smiles. My heart swells... Maybe this could work. Then his eyes travel down to my stomach and the look of hatred in his eyes toward our unborn child tells me that no, it won't. And this will be goodbye.

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EPOV

I walk downstairs and not surprisingly, Rose is the first person I see.

She rushes past me and I growl at her, my voice like venom, "Why do you hate me so much?"

She looks bewildered and confused, but doesn't answer. She just rushes up the stairs to be with Bella. It appears the rest of the family is gone, probably hunting. I realize as soon as I step into the backyard I'm wrong. One remains. Alice. I hear her thoughts before I see her. Of course my dearest sister, my confidante, my best friend would not abandon me.

She wraps her little arm around me, talking to me in her mind, but not out loud. She understands me perfectly, as usual. She tells me she knows I'm afraid of losing Bella and she's afraid too. I nod silently and put my arm around her tiny shoulders, giving her a little squeeze in thanks that she is here for me. Always here for me. We run into the woods together, side by side. Alice has a knack for knowing when I need space and when I need comfort, and she balances both perfectly during our time in the woods.

We take down some deer together and I start to feel stronger after drinking. Alice humors me and heads up to where the mountain lions usually are, so I can have my favorite meal. The familiar taste calms me, reminding me how much I missed home. We take a break and sit in the clearing and talk verbally. She voices her concerns about being blind to Bella's future. I nod silently, knowing that Bella's future is uncertain whether my sister can tell me what it is or not. That frightens me more than I can put into words.

"Alice? What am I going to do?" I close my eyes and run my hand through my hair.

"You are going to support your wife and do your damndest to keep her safe." Her voice has its usual perkiness, but it shakes underneath and I know she's more scared than she wants to let on.

I know better than to bet against Alice, whether she can see the future or not. I stand up, brushing the grass off my jeans and put my hand out to her. When she stands up, I hug her. It's a rare occurance for me, as I am usually much more restrained, but the love I feel for my sister in this moment overwhelms me.

"Thank you, Alice." I say, my voice quiet. She just smiles and squeezes my hand in reassurance.

"Let's go home. I need to do what I should have done on the island." I run my hand through my hair again.

Alice nods and we run toward home together, the trees whipping by us, the wind hitting our faces. I can feel that Alice is pushing herself, trying not to slow me down. Without saying anything, she knows I'm eager to make things right. The sooner the better. As we run, I feel what Alice instills in all of us...Hope.

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BPOV

Rose comes into the room as soon as Edward is gone, thankfully, because if I were to sit here in his room surrounded by all of his things any longer I know I'd change my mind. My thoughts start to wander back to when he left me in the woods, how it was planned... How he stayed to watch me. I sure as hell won't be sticking around to see how he handles this. I'm sure it will be bad, but it would be worse with me here. To have to tell him face to face. I know that I won't try to remove myself from his life. We both already know that doesn't work. I tell Rosalie my plan, my voice shaking, and she seems relieved. I want to be angry at her for it, tell her that Edward isn't a bad person he's just upset, that he would never- but I stop. Because he has. He has shut down and shut me out of his life. This child is growing too fast, and I'm scared if I stay any longer what will happen, what he'll try to convince me to do.

I hear Rose on her cell phone, already calling the sisters. I can't focus on the words she's saying and only pick up a few- _Bella, baby, plane_. This is real now and there's no way I can turn back. I pick up one of Edward's journals and search until I find a blank sheet of paper near the back, wincing at the sound it makes when I rip it from the binding.

My hands are shaking as I grab the fountain pen on Edward's desk and try to think of something to say to soothe him. I leave the pen a little too long on the page at the end of his name and the ink bleeds through. I quickly read over the words after I've signed my name across the bottom, hoping that one day he will forgive me.

"Bella?"

I set the note on Edward's pillow and glance up when Rosalie says my name, taking a deep breath.

"Everything is arranged. We should go before Alice..."

I nod, knowing Alice has been distraught that she can't see me but that she can see Rosalie. I look around the room once more and debate if I should take something with me, a memento. I decide against a picture of the two of us that is perched on his desk and grab the pen, shoving it in the pocket of my jeans before walking out of the room. What the hell I'm going to do with it, I don't know. I just need something, _anything_ of his. I shrug my jacket on and follow Rose down the stairs to the front door. I try to memorize everything I see- the artwork, the graduation caps, a lone family picture on the mantel.

My arms are empty as I walk out of the house. My luggage is already in Emmett's jeep and if any of the Cullens besides Rosalie know what's happening, none of them are letting on. I follow Rosalie down the stairs and through the living room, wondering where everyone is. Rosalie must notice my confusion.

"They're all hunting, I said I was fine staying here with you just the two of us."

I give her a smile, thankful that she helped make this less painful. But then I think to each and every one of the Cullens. My heart instantly falls to my stomach when the realization hits me that I won't be saying goodbye to any of my new family. None of them will ever meet their nephew- their grandson. We walk to the jeep and I climb into the passenger seat, buckling the seatbelt. Rosalie turns the jeep around to head down the long driveway and I get one last look at the Cullen house. It looks too quiet, too empty. My mind wanders to the first time Edward brought me here.

Edward...

I have to turn away. I focus only on my hands rubbing my stomach in small circles, reassuring my little nudger that nothing and no one will hurt him. Even if that means it's just the two of us.

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EPOV

By the time Alice and I are walking across the backyard toward the house, it is twilight. It's the time of day that is Bella's and mine. The sky looks exactly as it did a lifetime ago when we talked about it. It comforts me. I know Bella and I will make it through anything. We made vows to each other and we need each other so much that we won't let anything come between us. I will beg for Bella's forgiveness, and she will give it to me.

The house is dark when Alice and I step into the back door. It is completely silent in both sound and thought. I furrow my brow and look at Alice when I realize not even Bella's heartbeat can be heard. I immediately panic and head for the stairs calling her name, leaving Alice standing in the kitchen with concern written all over her face. My mind races as I fly up the stairs toward my room. Did something happen and Carlisle took her to the hospital? Oh, God, the...whatever it is...harmed Bella.

I call out behind me, "Alice, call Carlisle!"

I race into my room, inhaling, not smelling blood or anything else that confirms to me that there was a problem. All I smell is Bella, and I can tell she hasn't been here for a little while. I scan the room, looking for any clues. Everything is in its place, nothing appears to be missing. Nothing but Bella. The bed is empty except for a piece of paper laying on top of the pillow. I walk over to pick it up, not even noticing Alice has followed behind me. My eyes roam over the page, but the words don't sink in, not all of them anyway.

_Sorry...Love you...Goodbye..._

Realization hits me and the paper falls out of my hand and floats to the floor, and I follow. I fall to my knees. A sound I don't even recognize as mine rips out of my chest and I don't feel Alice wrap her little body around mine as I sob. I don't feel anything except excruciating pain. I hear someone repeating 'No' over and over again, not understanding it's me.

I hear people coming into the house, but I have no idea who it is or how much time has passed. Everything sounds muffled and far away. I can't see anything except Bella's face. I hear someone calling my name over and over, but I'm not sure who it is and I can't answer. I don't know how. I don't what day it is or what time it is. I don't know where I am or even who I am anymore.

All I know is that Bella is gone.


	3. Chapter 3

**The Twilight Series and all it's characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

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**BPOV**

Rosalie hands me my boarding pass and she is saying something but I can't hear her. Her cell phone is ringing and I want to tell her to answer it, that it might be something important- that is must be because the person just keeps calling back over and over. It isn't until she pulls her phone from her pocket and I catch a glimpse of the name across the screen that it hits me who is calling, why they're calling. She holds the end button down long enough to make her phone shut off and I am thankful now that she didn't answer it.

I know she has to leave soon and I'll be sitting here alone waiting to board for a few minutes. She seems so calm… I focus on Rose's face- the determination behind her eyes. I know what she's risking, the rift this will cause in her family, and I will be eternally grateful to her. She notices me staring and gives me an encouraging smile before looking around the area before airport security. She pats my hand and tells me to stay put and walks over to the only storefront. I figure she's getting me a water or something and just the thought makes me need to pee. I spot the women's room not far from where I'm sitting and decide to go really fast while she's shopping or whatever. I hold my jeans up by the belt loops due to the fact that I'm still without a button and my pants falling down in the airport is the last thing I need.

I finish doing my business and wash my hands, shocked by my appearance in the mirror. My hair is a wreck and all color is gone from my face. I can see only the top of my protruding stomach in my reflection and it looks like I'm holding a sweater or something under my shirt. I'm standing in the bathroom trying to zip up my jacket to try to hide it as much as possible when I hear Rosalie's voice, for the first time sounding frantic.

"BELLA?"

I leave my jacket half-unzipped and rush out of the bathroom, squeaking out her name in return. She whips around to face me and I stumble sideways, taken aback by her expression. Then I see the relief- _and is that pity?_ - as she takes my hand and leads me back to the bench where we had been sitting. "I thought I told you not to go anywhere Bella?"

"I just had to... you know." I clear my throat and glance towards the bathroom.

She nods and sets the plastic bag from the store in my lap. I see the box with the cell phone and frown. Why would I need a phone? I've gone this long without one. I start to speak and Rosalie cuts me off.

"It's a go-phone, it's not in anyone's name so you don't have to worry about- well, he's not going to find you okay?"

I just stare at the box while she takes the phone out, powering it on and pressing the buttons quickly.

"I'm putting in my number, I want you to call me when you get there. So I know you made it safely. Also Tanya's in case your flight arrives early or you need to contact her for any reason. They live pretty far away from the airport, so I'm sure they'll arrive early to wait but just in case."

I take in all of this information and my hand is shaking as she hands me the phone when she stands, throwing away the box it came in and the bag. I shove the phone in my pocket, letting my fingers graze the fountain pen I took from Edward's desk.

When Rosalie doesn't sit back down I realize it's time for me to get going, go through the security checkpoint and to my gate. I stand and throw my arms around her. For a moment she doesn't return my hug, probably surprised by this sudden outpouring of emotion, but then she wraps her arms around my small frame rocking me slightly. When I finally feel strong enough to let her go, I step back and give her a half smile.

She hesitates for a moment before speaking.

"I know we've had our differences. Whatever happens, please know that I'm proud of you for making this decision."

I try to say thank you but the words won't come out. She nods her head once and just like that, she's gone- her blonde hair swinging behind her as she walks away.

This is it. Security makes me take my jacket off anyway, along with my shoes. I toss my newly acquired cell phone and stolen pen into the plastic bin with everything else, keeping my id and boarding pass in my shaking hands as I walk through the metal detector. I'm sure I look ridiculous, a young pregnant girl who looks sickly with no carry-on. Thankfully they don't search me or anything and I put my shoes and jacket back on, placing the pen and cell phone in my jacket pocket. I easily find my gate and sit down facing the glass wall to wait until boarding.

I sort've wish Rose had bought me a water now, because it's too late for me to run and get one. I feel like I'm going to throw up or pass out or both. I keep glancing nervously behind me, part of me fully expecting Edward to rush in at any second and ask me what the hell I think I'm doing. What the hell _am_ I doing? I'm so tired... I just want to go back to Edward, curl up beside him in the huge unneeded bed in his room. I don't know how long I've spaced out and jump when I feel a warm hand on my shoulder.

"Are you Mrs. Cullen?"

I shake my head no before realizing that yes, I am.

"Er... Yeah, I am. Newly married, sorry."

The attendant gives me a polite smile but I know that I've annoyed her in some way.

"We're about to close the doors- everyone else has boarded."

I force myself to stand up and follow her to the desk, handing her my boarding pass that I've had a death grip on the last half hour or so. She has a hard time scanning in the numbers and I see her annoyance level rise as she walks to the computer to type it in instead. My stomach does flip flops, thinking she's going to tell me I can't board. She hands me the stub and smiles again.

"Enjoy your flight Mrs. Cullen."

I try to smile back and quickly walk down the ramp to the plane. Thankfully Rose has gotten me a seat in first class, where I'll have more room and not feel so claustrophobic. I take my seat and lock the seatbelt tight across my stomach. My skin feels clammy and cold but I am acutely aware that I'm sweating bullets. I twist the fan above me to max air and close my eyes as I settle back into my seat.

The captain's voice comes over the overheard to alert the flight attendants to prepare for takeoff. Was it really only the day before that Edward and I were flying back home? I shove my hand into my jacket, letting the pad of my thumb run across the smooth surface of the pen in my pocket. My other hand is making the same motion across the hard bump of my stomach. My eyes close and I will myself to sleep.

_This is it, baby. It's just you and me now._

**EMMETT POV**

I try calling Rose's cell phone for maybe the hundreth time. I am furious with her - and I never get mad at my Rosie. Even when I know she's wrong, I accept her and anything she's done. This time she went too far. She has ripped my family apart, and I can't just go along with that. I like to crack jokes and make things humorous, but there is no humor to be found in this situation. Edward is in some sort of trance and just whimpers and howls Bella's name. I can't even imagine what he feels. It's how I would feel if someone took Rose away from me. I know I'd never forgive whoever had a hand in it, as I'm sure Edward won't forgive Rose.

Alice is rocking in Jasper's lap, mumbling and blaming herself for not seeing it. I tried to crack a joke for her benefit, but it went over like a led zepplin. Ali puts too much pressure on herself. She can't see everything all the time, and we don't expect her to. Jasper is putting out some major calming vibes, but they don't seem to be having an effect on anyone. Esme is weeping softly in the corner, and Carlisle is torn between comforting her and trying to get Edward to respond to him. Edward concerns me most of all, as I know he does the others. He has had some major hissy fits in his time, but I have never seen him like this. Even when he made us leave Forks and Bella before. I mean, he was impossible, a prick even, but he wasn't this bad. It's like nobody's home in there. I didn't even know that could happen to a vampire. Apparently neither did Carlisle, because he's not his usual calm, cool and collected self.

I know he's worried about Bella and her medical care if she's not with us, but he's also very concerned about Edward. When Carlisle's concerned, I get very concerned. He always has it together, always has a plan. I walk over to Esme and put my arm around her, figuring I can help this way, comfort our mother and allow Carlisle to focus on Edward. Part of me even feels guilty. I didn't see this coming even though I know Rosie way better than anyone else. If anyone should have known something was up, it was me. Esme tries to give me a smile and I grin at her. This is my role in this family. Make the others feel better.

Of course, I don't know who is going to make me feel better. I already know Rose and I will have to leave for a while. Edward won't be able to cope with Rose in his face. My little sis is gone and we don't know what's going on with the baby. I don't want anything to happen to Bella, and I really can't ensure nothing does if I don't know where she is. I'm already sure Rose won't tell me. She knows I'd go get her. Try to fix things. Try to bring my brother back, give my father some peace of mind, make my mom whole by having all her children in one place, end the pixie's self torment thinking she is somehow at fault for what is happening to her favorite brother.

I keep my arm around Esme for what seems like several hours. Carlisle has given up on Edward answering him. He went to his study to do research on his 'condition'. Alice and Jasper are comforting each other, both worried about our siblings. I hear a car coming down the driveway and stand from the crouching position I've been in at Esme's side. I take a deep unneeded breath, scanning the room and everyone's heads except Edward's swing toward the window.

Rose is home.

She walks in with her head held high. No one can look at her. No one except me.

"Why?" It's all I say, and it's enough.

She isn't sorry for what she did, but she's sorry she hurt me in the process. She shakes her head, indicating not now. She'll talk to me when she's ready. Certainly not in front of the family. She glances over at Edward and I see regret in her eyes. She didn't want to hurt him either. She didn't want to hurt any of us. Rose is a right fighter. If she thinks she's right about something, it doesn't matter who is on the other side of the issue. She'll make her point. Point made. Despite the hurt and betrayal on Esme's face, she stands and hugs Rose. Esme will never turn her back on any of us. It doesn't matter what we do.

Alice can't even say anything to Rose, which illustrates very clearly how upset with her she is. I thought for sure she'd go off on her or something.

A roar interrupts my thoughts and Mr. Catatonic flies off the couch and at my wife. He has her by the throat against the wall and he's going off on her about how this is all her fault. I don't hear a word he's saying or Rose's reaction, I just get myself between them in the blink of an eye. I see Jazz and Ali follow suit, trying to pull Edward off of Rose, as he's still holding onto her.

"Bro, I feel you. I know you're upset. I don't blame you, but you don't want to hurt Rose and you know I won't let you."

Edward blinks looking at me, but I'm not sure what I said or even who I am registers with him.

"Edward, Bella wouldn't want you to act like this." That works.

Shame crosses his face and he drops his hand. And just like that, he's gone again. Jasper and Alice bring him back to the couch, all I can do is shake my head in disbelief.

"Rose, go upstairs. I'll be right up."

My back is to her, but I hear her quietly go upstairs. Esme looks mortified.

"They never really did get along, mom."

I shrug and give her a goofy smile. She doesn't smile back.

My little pixie of a sister looks up at me. "You're leaving." It's not a question. Alice knows what will come to pass.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N~ SM still owns everything Twilight...Except Trixie has almost the entire Eclipse trading card collection, and I now own Eclipse pocket Edward and Jacob. We each have a few ticket stubs from Eclipse over the weekend as well. Unfortunately, we do not own the actual Edward or Jacob. Bygones.**

**Please leave us a review. Constructive feedback will make us better! Thanks for reading :)**

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**BPOV**

The flight to Fairbanks, Alaska is a little over three and a half hours long. I spend most of the time sleeping, waking up only to eat the cheese and crackers the flight attendant brings. I must look as bad as I feel, she keeps coming back to check on me. I drink about three liters of water and am still thirsty, but at this point I'm in desperate need to pee and refuse to go on the plane. When we finally land I double check the time on my new phone. It has gone to the new time zone, an hour ahead, so it's a little before midnight here. It's still daylight and I'm a little freaked out by this fact. I vaguely remember reading something in school about the land of the midnight sun or something, and hope that the house where I'll be staying has dark curtains because I don't know how anyone can sleep like this.

I'm one of the first to exit the plane and make a beeline toward the nearest bathroom. I audibly sigh in relief that I made it and hear someone a few stalls over giggle. When I stand up and try to get my jeans back on, I can't even close the zipper anymore. I tie my jacket around my waist to help hold my pants up and go to the sink to wash my hands. My reflection doesn't scare me this time because I'm expecting to see this damaged version of myself. After splashing cold water on my face and making yet another attempt to smooth back my hair into a ponytail, I leave the bathroom and follow the only exit down an escalator to baggage claim.

I see Tanya's blonde hair first. She's facing the baggage carousel leaning against a glass case with a giant stuffed grizzly bear inside, so she doesn't see me coming down the escalator. Kate spots me first, nudging her sister. They both turn to me and my confidence wavers only slightly. These two beautiful blonde women, one who everyone is painfully aware has been in love with my husband for years, are going to help me. I repeat this like a mantra over and over as I walk to them. All awkwardness between us, all jealousy, is gone.

Each of them hug me as if we've been close friends for years. We wait for my luggage to come around the carousel and when I see it, my stomach lurches. I point to the bag quickly and Kate grabs it, pulling the handle to roll it behind us. I don't want anything inside of it and want to tell her to just throw it away. Everything in it is what I came home from Isle Esme with, Edward and I hadn't unpacked. I bite my tongue when she puts it in the back of their SUV. Sliding into the backseat, I put on my seatbelt and try to get comfortable. It's difficult with my hard as a rock belly.

Kate is driving and Tanya turns around in the front seat to talk to me, giving me an encouraging smile.

"Denali is about four hours away from here, but with the way Kate drives we should get there faster."

Her smile cracks and I think she's going to say more, but she must know by the expression on my face that I can't handle talking about it right now.

Kate looks at me through the rearview mirror, "There isn't much open here this late at night, but I'm sure you're hungry."

I nod, blushing. Starving actually, I want to say but my mouth won't form words. I force myself to nod again, hoping she'll understand.

She pulls into the nearest fast food drive-thru and orders me three different meals, unsure of what I want to eat.

"Water" I barely manage to get out, and she orders a water for each of the meals. Why am I so thirsty?

While she pays and gets my food, I quickly text Rosalie to tell her that I'm here. I immediately shut the phone off just in case. _Just in case what?_ Do I expect him to have a tracker on it or something? I roll my eyes at myself and shove the phone back in my pocket with the pen.

We start the long drive and I focus on eating, not tasting anything- just wanting to feel full. I look up surprised when I realize I've eaten all three meals and part of me is still hungry. I finish off the second small bottle of water and look out the window. The landscape is much like Washington and no one else is on the road at this time of night. I still can't believe it's so bright outside and it's after 1am. The lull of the tires causes me to doze off briefly and I wake up with a jolt, reaching for the door handle.

"Pu- pull over. I gotta-"

Kate abruptly pulls over on the shoulder of the road and I frantically unbuckle my seatbelt, the door barely opening before everything I just ate heaves out of my body. When I'm sure that there's nothing left, I close the door and scoot over to the other side, needing to get out of the car for a minute.

Tanya and Kate both get out after me and stay close to the vehicle while I walk a few yards in front of them. The air smells clean here. I take a few deep breaths and my mouth starts watering. _What is that smell?_I sniff the air again and follow it, this tinge of metal in the air. My nose is in the air and I'm looking up at the sky when my right foot kicks something in front of me. I almost stumble, but Tanya is there in a flash holding my arm. I blink once at her before looking down at what I would have fallen down on. _Oh God._

"Moose. A shame they left it here, usually when a car hits one the sheriff comes and they take it to the nearest village. The blood is fresh, it must've happened recently..."

Tanya keeps talking but I don't hear her. I don't hear anything but the sound of my heart pounding in my chest. I usually pass out at just the scent of blood. But oh God, my mouth is still watering and before I know it I'm crouching down beside this massive thing. Inside my head I'm screaming _no no no_but my body defies me, my hand barely shaking as it moves closer to where the blood is trickling. I watch my fingers get coated with red, feeling like I'm having an out-of-body experience. My fingers are moving towards my mouth and I hate myself. I suck them clean, my eyes rolling back in my head as the blood slides down my throat. I lick my lips- I want more. Instead I stand up and realize I'm not alone, Tanya is staring at me like I've gone insane. And just like that, my little nudger comes to life. These aren't nudges anymore, but full on kicks. Both of my hands fly to my stomach. I can't help but laugh. I never even considered... I should have since his dad- Edward... _Edward._

Tanya takes my arm and walks me back towards Kate and the waiting SUV, helping me into the backseat. They switch spots and Tanya gets in the driver's seat, navigating carefully around the dead moose before speeding up down the long stretch of highway in front of us. She keeps glancing back nervously. I'm too focused on the movements in my stomach to hear or care what she's saying to Kate.

After a few minutes, hours maybe?, Kate calls my name. When I finally look up I realize she probably has said it more than once.

"Sorry, I-"

Kate cuts me off, "No worries love, I just wanted to let you know we're almost home. I spoke with Eleazar. I told him... Well- he knows someone that knows someone. For the right price anything is attainable. There will be a supply waiting for you when we get there."

I know she's talking about blood. I want to ask more questions, I want to know why exactly the baby wants it, why I want it. I know she doesn't know the answer so I just squeak out a "Thank you" and dig around the backseat looking for that last bottle of water.

She said we're almost there, to their house. My new home. Our new home. I know that we won't be able to stay long, that Edward will surely look for me.

For now, all I can think about is getting this baby whatever he needs.

**EMMETT POV**

Rose and I pack some of our more prized possessions and load up my jeep. We leave the other vehicles in the garage knowing Carlisle will get them wherever they need to be for our return. I don't know when we'll be back, I just know we will. Saying goodbye, or even see you later, sucks. I hug everyone, Esme longer than the others. I know this is hard for her. She lost Bella and now us. I sit next to Edward, not even sure he can hear me.

"I don't know if you can hear me, bro, but I have to go for a while. You know how it is...where Rose goes, I go." I sigh and go on. "I'm really sorry for her part in this. I truly am. You know I love Bella. I would have never allowed her to leave us if I had known..."

I look at Edward's glassy stare and shake my head.

"Bro. If you hear me in there, you have to come back. Esme needs you. Alice needs you. Hell. Even Carlisle needs you. You aren't ever going to find Bella and bring her back if you stay whereever you are...I'm just saying, Edward. I know you and you'll do whatever the hell you want, but I think you should fight for her. She deserves that."

I clear my throat, feeling a little emotional. I lost my little sister and my big brother in the same day. I clasp my hand on Edward's shoulder as I stand up.

"I'll see you soon, bro. Don't let me down. Call me if you need anything."

He still sits there, staring off. I hope he heard me. I hope my words are running through his stubborn ass mind.

Esme makes me promise for like the third time that we'll be back. We walk out to the Jeep, Rose pretty much ignoring everyone and they more or less her. Awkward hugs are exchanged on the porch between her and the rest of the family. I give them all bear hugs, including Carlisle and Jazz and try to make them all smile. That's more for my benefit than theirs. I don't think I've ever felt such a mixture of anger and sadness. Edward always jumps on me for not taking things seriously, I wish he were with it enough to hear my thoughts now. I'd knock his socks off.

I get into the driver's seat, looking over at Rose. She can't even look at me, so I know she's reconciling doing what she felt was right and everyone's reaction to it. I'm still mad at her, but I reach out and grab her hand. That's just what we do. She fiddles with the GPS to figure out where we're going, since this move had no forethought or planning. I just drive where the thing tells me to, wanting to ask Rose a hundred questions, but staying silent. I'm rarely silent, so I know it speaks louder than any words I could say.

We're in the middle of nowhere, not a car in sight, the road surrounded by enormous trees. Rose's phone vibrates. I look over at her, my brow furrowed. She's clearly trying to be sure I can't catch a glimpse of the screen.

"Rosalie? Is that Bells?"

She ignores me. I get louder, my frustration at the whole situation bubbling to the surface.

"Rosalie! Answer me."

Still she says nothing and I know it's because she refuses to lie to me.

"Goddamn it!"

I slam my hands on the steering wheel and swerve off the road, throwing the Jeep into park. I am pissed. Pissed that I just left my family. Pissed that Bella is pregnant with God knows what, out there somewhere alone. Pissed that my brother is like a fucking zombie. Pissed that my wife takes a big piece of the blame for all of it.

Rose is pressing buttons on her phone and I know she deleted whatever proof there was of Bella. It is the last straw. I can't take it.

"You and Bella just decided for everyone how it was going to be. Do you realize how unfair that is? Edward needed to digest this, Rose. You have to admit it's pretty fucked up. It's not like he was prepared. You have been a raging bitch to him like he should have taken it differently. Edward can be dramatic, but he's pretty right on here, Rose. This is like a horror movie. A vampire baby? He loves Bella. We all do. We don't want anything to happen to her! Not that you'd know how that feels. You just couldn't wait to get rid of her. You never liked her!"

I know I'm not being fair. Rose just sits back and takes it, even though I know my lashing out hurts her. I need air. I need the wind in my face. I throw my door open and step out of the car. I grumble that I'll be back. Then I do something I've never ever done.

I walk away from Rose.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: We will be shooting to update every Monday. We hope you're liking our little story.**

**SM still owns everything. Isn't she lucky? We just own more Eclipse Trading cards, more movie ticket stubs and more love for her characters than last week.**

**Reviews are love. Leave one. Or tell us what you wish we had done. It will make us better. :)**

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BELLA POV

Days pass. A room has been made up for me, but most of my time is spent in the living room so that Kate, Carmen, and Eleazar can keep an eye on me. Irina and Tanya stay to themselves mostly, and I try my best to not be a burden. I can barely keep down food, but the blood... Well, the baby is thriving. He's getting bigger and trying to move. Every time that he does, a new bruise gets added to my skin. It's getting harder to breathe with the weight, and I'm positive that most of my ribs have cracked. No plans have been made regarding what will happen, how I will give birth.

I keep my thoughts to myself but know that giving birth will most likely kill me. I just want him big enough, strong enough to survive regardless. The Cullens haven't contacted anyone in Alaska about my whereabouts. Edward probably doesn't think I would come here, with his non-history with Tanya. I try not to let my mind wander to where he thinks I am, if he's looking for me. I tell myself that his family will take care of him.

It is unspoken, but I have complete faith that if it does happen- that this will be the end for me- that Carmen and Eleazar will take care of my baby.

I'm looking out the window, still amazed at how light it always is. I've been sitting here so long, only leaving with help to go to the bathroom, and the clock on the wall is my only indication that time hasn't been standing still. Whatever it is that's happening to me and my baby is happening fast. I'm so lost in thought imagining my son here growing older without me that it I'm grateful when Tanya comes in and breaks the silence.

"This is a cool phone Bella, have you tried out any of these games?"

It takes me a few seconds. What phone? I turn my head and see it in her hands. She's looking at me waiting for an answer. Why does she have my phone? Why haven't I gotten rid of it by now? If it's been traced... I struggle to sit up, pushing my feet to the ground. Another rib snaps, but I keep reaching for the phone. A different pain- sharper, lower, takes my vision away. I start to fall backwards and someone catches me. I don't know who. I can't see anything, can't hear anything. I'm vaguely aware that I'm screaming and that someone is holding me and carrying me to a bed.

Eleazar's voice causes me to stop screaming. I bite my lip as he talks. My mouth pools with blood.

"Isabella, the baby has to come out of you now. It is time. I will do whatever I can to save you both, you hear me? Estoy contigo."

I try to nod and finally release my lip, the noises coming out of me sounding inhuman. There's a quick, seering pain across my belly and simultaneously I feel lips against my neck. The sensation is familiar, the burning. In another life, another version of myself, I know I've felt it before- across my wrist. James. _Edward._

Everything goes black.

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TANYA POV

I've kept my mouth shut this whole process. When Rosalie called to tell us that Bella was pregnant and was leaving Edward, I wasn't exactly upset. Eleazar and Carmen have stayed close this whole week or so, only leaving once to hunt. Kate is almost always by her side as well. Irina and I have just been trying to stay out of the way. Irina doesn't approve and quite frankly, neither do I. But Bella's away from Edward right now, and it would be a lie to say I wasn't happy about that fact.

This is serious- whatever is inside of her has been growing quickly. Eleazar is being stingy with the good stuff from the blood bank. I wouldn't drink it anyway, but still... Every time Bella drinks it I have to leave the house because the smell is so intoxicating. And lately she's drinking it a lot.

Irina and I walk back into the house from a quick hunt, trying to be quiet in case Bella is sleeping on the sofa where they've set up camp for her. She's been given my room, but is rarely in there. After a quick shower I sneak into my room to get some clean clothes, walking around her large suitcase that has remained unopened. Carmen gave Bella a large shirt, one of Eleazar's, and a pair of yoga pants to wear when she arrived and got cleaned up. She's been in that outfit ever since- won't go near her suitcase for some reason. I know I'll be scolded if I open it but I'm curious to see what's inside. Instead I grab the pen and cell phone from my dresser. Why does she need a pen? I set it back down and walk down the hall to the living room, playing with the cell phone. I power it up and am immediately bummed that the battery is almost dead. Maybe she has the charger with her. I've been meaning to get a new one and this one has a ton of cool features. I've already plastered on the sweetest smile I can muster and have big plans to coerce her to give me phone.

I ask Bella a simple question and that's when everything goes haywire.

If I had known Bella wanted the phone, I would have handed it to her. Eleazar is behind her as soon as she stumbles backward. That's when the screaming starts. Barely audible is the sound of bones crunching. I know she has broken a few ribs these last few days, but this... She sounds like she's splitting open. That thing wants out of her any way it can.

The smell of her blood hits me and I bolt for the door, dropping the phone down having already forgotten what a hot commodity I just thought it was. There's no way I can be in there for this, I know my limits and I'm not strong enough. Running as fast as I can, I stop only when the scent is gone. Irina is beside me shortly- I guess she couldn't handle it either.

"Did you see anything? Is she...?"

Irina shakes her head, "I left as soon as you did. Eleazar has her."

We sit in silence, not sure how long to wait to go back. I guess I'm just glad that she's left Edward and if that makes me a bad person so be it. There's no way Bella will make it out of this alive. Irina and I run for hours, with nowhere specific in mind. I don't want to go to the house until I know it's over, that the body has been disposed of however Eleazar and Carmen see fit and that thing... Well, until I know I won't be grossed out and say or do something I'll regret. I love my family very much and don't want any of them to be upset with me. But come on! It's creepy.

My sister and I spend the next few days hunting and talking, slowly making our way back home. I don't let her know that all I can think about is Edward.

I wonder how long I should wait before going to find him. Because I will find him. And this time, he'll have no reason not to want my companionship.

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CARMEN POV

Tanya and Irina have been gone for a week. We keep watching for them, but no signs as of yet. What Eleazar did, what he was able to do when the rest of us could not, has made me see him in a whole new light after all of these years. The baby is alive and well. Bella was wrong about the sex of the baby and gave birth to a little girl. She is thriving on her mixed diet. It took everything Eleazar had to not kill Bella and, thankfully for all of us, she survived. More than survived. It is as if she is more comfortable in her skin now than she was as a human...so strange. We took turns sitting with her- Eleazar, Kate and myself. If we weren't with Bella, we were with the baby. This little girl with big brown eyes and a full head of hair already had stolen all of our hearts. Eleazar is dying to talk to Carlisle. To ask him about the child, for some sort of explanation on why she's growing so fast. Why she can speak already. _What she can show us._

Since the first time the angelic little girl placed her hands to my face and showed me her memories and feelings, I have been entranced. I encourage her to use her gift whenever we spend time together. What she shows me is sometimes horrific, like the memory of her mother convulsing on the hospital bed with Eleazar leaning over her and how worried she felt even then. Sometimes the visions she shares with me make me smile, like showing me how happy she is when she drinks the blood that Eleazar supplies and how unappetizing she finds the human food we all encourage her to eat.

Eleazar also wants to talk to Carlisle about Bella. Since the change Bella has shown an amazing amount of control. When she came to, Eleazar and Kate took her hunting. They have been gone a while now, so I stay with the baby. I wonder what Bella remembers of her life before her transformation. Does she remember Edward, the father of this little angel? If she does remember, what does she plan to do now? The child sees concern etched on my face and I notice her brow furrow. I smile at her and try to put her at ease.

"Your mother will be back soon, child. I'm sure she's as eager to meet you as you are to meet her."

She smiles widely at me, showing her perfect little teeth. As if on cue I hear Bella, Eleazar and Kate walking back toward the house. They are talking excitedly about how well Bella did, how impressed they are.

The child looks proud and watches the door, waiting for her mother.

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BELLA POV

I laugh with Eleazar and Kate as we walk toward the house. I don't even recognize my own laugh. It sounds like bells. Bells. That's what Jacob always called me...and Charlie. I think hard, because things are a little fuzzy and Eleazar looks at me questioningly. I shake my head and tell him I'm fine, I just was remembering something. He looks fairly impressed. I shrug it off, not used to being called things like 'amazing' or 'impressive' or 'exceptional.' I'm definitely not used to being graceful. Oh, if Emmett could see me now. Emmett...The Cullens... Edward.

I redirect my thoughts and focus on my baby. Our baby. She is healthy, they've told me. I can't wait to see her. To hold her. I run the last stretch to the house and burst through the front door. Carmen looks worried. My daughter... our daughter... looks thrilled. I reassure Carmen that I'm fine. I will not hurt my baby. I can't stop smiling at her. She has my eyes and Edward's bronze hair color with Charlie's curls. She is absolutely beautiful. If I still needed to breathe, I'm sure she would take my breath away.

Carmen hands her to me once she determines I am not a threat to the child. I sit on the couch with her, cradling her to me, murmuring to her. She puts her hand on my face showing me her memories of when I talked to her during my pregnancy. How she knows how much I loved her. Tears would be flowing down my face if I could cry anymore.

"You need a name, baby girl. I've given it a lot of thought, so I hope you like it. It will be as unique as you are. Renesmee Carlie Masen. For your grandmas Renee and Esme, your grandfathers Carlisle and Charlie and Masen for..." I can't even say his name out loud, so I just trail off there.

She puts her hand on my face again to show me she loves her name.

"Essie," she says.

I smile and nod. "Essie. My little Essie."


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: Surprise! A bonus chapter. We will still update on Monday. We are just excited because, well, we know what happens. ;) We hope you get into the story as much as we do. Let us know what you think abou the different Points of View...Who do you like telling the story? There will be various POVs, since it's necesarry to move the story forward.**

**We still don't own Twilight or its characters. I'd like to won Jacob's abs and Edward's sex walk, so if any of you can do something about that, help a girl out.**

**Trixie just informed me she has even more trading cards. Oh, and she has a Jacob cup and one more ticket stub. I have been a merch and movie going slacker since Monday. :)**

**Enjoy and be sure to review at the end!**

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**EMMETT POV**

Rose and I settled down somewhere in the middle of nowhere Canada. I have checked in with Alice everyday to see if Edward has come out of his stupor, but so far, no dice. I want to go back. I want to shake his scrawny little ass until he snaps out of it and goes looking for Bella. I hired some guy in Seattle that does stuff for the family behind Rose's back to find her, but the trail is cold. Time is ticking and I've got nothing. If this child kills Bella, and I shudder at the thought, maybe it's better for Edward to stay wherever he is. Otherwise he'll be trying to off himself, which, let's face it, will hurt Esme and the rest of us more than all of this.

Rose begged me to understand her logic. Why she did what she did. I get it to a point, but I still think she overstepped. This isn't her baby and she should have kept her nose out of it. But the fact is Bella asked her for help...and I need Rose. She's my mate. She balances me out. I needed to forgive her as much as she needed my forgiveness.

I talk to someone in the family every day. Alice is frustrated that she can't see Bella. The child seems to make her vision fuzzy. She has watched Charlie for any sign of Bella, but so far no luck. She hasn't asked to talk to Rose, which bothers me, although I get it. Ali and Ed are closer than any of the rest of us are to another sibling. Though we all love one another, they are just at another level. She also adored Bella before she even knew her. Finally a partner for the loner of the group. And Bella fit so perfectly...God, I miss my klutzy little sister.

The family relocated to Montana. They now live in a small town that is usually cloudy called Kalispell. Carlisle is starting at the hospital soon and Esme is working on the house. As she does with every place we live, she's making it a home. Alice and Jasper opted for college over high school, so they are waiting for the next semester to start. And Edward...well...Edward is still out of it. Carlisle resorted to feeding him from bags of blood he has gotten from medical contacts in order to just get him fed. I know Carlisle hates that he has to give any of his children human blood, even if it is donated, but he is worried Edward won't ever snap out of it if he's half starved.

I want to go home. Rose and I go out on our own every so often to live like a young married couple, but not like this. Not when our famly needs us. Not when we need our family. She isn't ready yet. They aren't ready yet. I suppose I'm the only one who is ready. I grab my cell and tell Rose I'm going for a run. Once I'm far enough out of earshot, I call our guy in Seattle again. He was somehow able to get security tape from the aiport, so he can confirm Bella was at the aiport. Just not where she went. I hang up, frustrated, and pace back and forth.

My phone rings in my hand. I turn it on without even looking at it. "Yeah?"

"Emmett. It's Alice. Edward is back."

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**EDWARD POV **- _Two Years Later_

Two years. Two years I've spent searching. Two years I've been missing my wife. For two years, I've had a gaping hole in my chest where my dead heart is. I constantly wonder where she is. If she's safe. I've been all over the country. I've looked for Bella, Isabella or Marie. I've searched for Swan, Cullen, Dwyer and even Renee's maiden name of Higgenbotham. Hell, I even searched for Black, though the thought that she would use Jacob's last name makes me feel like I've been hit in the gut. I've checked colleges and universities. I've found myself spending time in random libraries and bookstores. I walk down streets and go through the minds of strangers, looking for an image of her. Any clue to where she is and what she's doing, any proof that she's alive and still breathing.

I went back to Forks early on in my search to see Charlie. He was cold toward me, not that I blame him. I have no idea what Bella told him about me, but I'm glad that she contacted him. That means she may still be out there somewhere. She told him she left me, which of course makes him think I did something awful to his little girl. I did the worse possible thing to his little girl. On the other hand, Charlie pitied me. He'd been there, been the one that was left behind. I said nothing about the possibility of a child. He didn't seem to know anything about Bella's pregnancy and I didn't want to alarm him further.

When I left Charlie, I went to our big white house in the woods. I figured I would hunt and decide how to handle Jacob Black before I went back to Montana. I paced around the empty house, seeing her everywhere. Hearing her laughter. Remembering us sitting at my piano and the electricity that hummed between us whenever we were in close proximity. My thoughts drifted back to Jacob. He loves her. He'll never stop looking for her, like I won't. He'll assume that I killed her or changed her. I don't particularly care what he thinks of me, but maybe he can help me. Is it selfish to use him in such a way? Probably. Although, if I'm being honest with myself, even if I find Bella, she may not want me anymore. At least if Jacob is in the picture, I know she'll be safe and well taken care of...I slammed my hand through a wall just considering the possibility.

"Mine!" I growled, the drywall crumbling and falling at my feet.

I was so lost in my own thoughts, I didn't hear his. I didn't even smell him.

"Where the fuck is she?" He snarled. I turned to face him. Jacob.

"I don't know." I answered. I saw him looking at me carefully and softening a little. He believed me.

He furrowed his brow, looking confused. "She left you." I heard hope in his voice and in his mind. Hope that Bella realized she made the wrong decision. Hope that he could give her what I cannot.

"Yes." It was all I said not wanting to get into it all, not wanting to risk him lashing out at me or refusing to help me find her. I knew it was wrong to only tell him a small part of the story, but it was all I could think to do. I'll deal with the consequences later.

"And she's still human." Jacob wasn't asking a question. He knows Bella wouldn't have gone through a transformation and then left me.

"Yes."

We discussed what myself and the family had done to try to find her. I reassured him that I was more concerned for her safety than in convincing Bella to take me back. It was the truth. I had to know Bella was out there somewhere. I hoped we would work things out, of course, but her well being was my first priority. Jacob agreed to help in anyway he could, just as I knew he would. For all our differences he was always the best friend to Bella that he could be, all things considered. We promised to be in touch and he even suggested coming to Montana to figure out our next steps after he exhausted any leads from Charlie or Renee.

After I left Forks, I went to Denali. Rosalie's part in all of this led me to believe she had to have had help from someone she knew and trusted. Outside of our family, that left the Denali sisters. They gave me nothing concrete, but I knew Bella had been there. I could feel it. They blocked their thoughts as someone in my family could have coached them to. Tanya made it clearer to me than any of them. She couldn't look me in the eyes. She had always been bold, brazen even, and had always looked me in the eye, trying to make a connection. I begged them all to tell me anything about Bella, about the child, but not one of them offered me anything. I left in defeat, knowing I'd be back.

I resumed the search, and I'll never stop.

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**BELLA POV**

I stayed with Renesmee in Denali for as long as it felt safe. It wasn't as long as Eleazar and Carmen had hoped, but I didn't want to risk him finding me. Edward. While my memory may be fuzzy I do remember how much he did not want me to have this baby.

I spoke with Charlie once, in the airport in Fairbanks while Renesmee and I were waiting to fly to our new home. It was hard to make my voice sound like it used to, to force myself to stumble over my words. The surprise in his voice was evident when I told him I had left Edward. He asked if I was safe and I smiled. Charlie will always be a worrier. I assured him I was fine and just ready to explore the world.

Eleazar helped me search for a place that seemed far enough away and that had far more rainy days than sunny. The financial help he and Carmen provided was necessary, but I vowed to pay them back every cent that I needed to borrow. I selected a list of places and watched Renesmee read over it carefully, no longer shocked that my baby was growing exceedingly fast and was able to read. She smiled up at me when she found one she liked, her eyes sparkling.

"Kalispell," she stated matter-of-factly her small voice filling the room, "I like the way it sounds."

We moved shortly after to the small town in Montana, into a partially furnished home purchased with the help of Eleazar. He also spoke with the owner's of the sole bookstore in town and made them an offer they couldn't refuse. They were more than happy to retire early to spend time with their grandchildren. After Eleazar went back home with the promise of keeping our location a secret, Renesmee and I eased slowly into our new lives.

My now two year old daughter looks to be around the age of five, and I repeatedly have to remind her to stop showing off to our customers.

"But mama!" she wailed, "I'm special remember?"

I laughed softly and ran my hand through her curls. "Of course you're special Essie, but we can't scare everyone off or we won't make money to buy you art supplies."

Renesmee has become quite the little artist, spending all of her free time drawing and painting the wolves I describe to her during bedtime story time. Of all of the stories I tell her, those are the ones she holds onto and begs me to tell. She doesn't ask about why or how I know so much about them and I'm thankful that she's happy with the explanation that I think they're pretty. She doesn't yet ask about her father, but I know she will in time. _What will I say?_

As I write the final check out to Eleazar (I've kept true to my word to pay him back) I look at the map spread out before me. Renesmee loves our little road trips that we take so that the postmark will be different each time, and we've carried on the tradition of visiting strange landmarks and collecting t-shirts for her, much like I can remember Renee doing with me. I know I should contact her this time and possibly Charlie, to check in. I hate not being able to tell Charlie where I am and that he doesn't doesn't know about his granddaughter, but this is the only way.

Before I seal the envelope, I decide to include a photo of Renesmee. They haven't seen her since we left Alaska, and after this long without being found I figure it will be alright for them to see her, to see how much she's grown. I will never be able to thank them enough for helping me. I slip the envelope in my purse and walk down the dark hallway to Renesmee's small room. Her light is on and her art supplies are strewn across her bed. After turning the lamp off, I move the notebook from her stomach and turn to see her latest creation. With each one she's getting better and better, and with the countless details I've told her describing what I can remember of Jacob in wolf form, her latest creation looks exactly as my fuzzy human memory sees him. I set her notebook on her bedside table and stretch out beside her. She instinctively presses her back to my chest and my soundless heart swells. She has a few more hours to sleep before we'll leave for our trip to mail off the check.

I lay with my daughter while she sleeps and allow my thoughts to drift to Edward, as they do every night. I miss him. I love him. _But I love her more_. And every time she smiles up at me or tugs at my hand, I know that my decision was the right one.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note~ Poision had the nerve to go on vacation without me and left me to post. I almost forgot, but thankfully she sent me a nagging text message.**

**SM still owns everything. I only own a still incomplete collection of Eclipse trading cards (Why is Jasper nowhere to be found?). Poision owns the complete saga signed by SM herself. **_**Not that I'm bitter.**_

**This chapter is short, so we may post chapter 8 later in the week. Please review! :)**

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**EDWARD POV**

It is a perfect overcast day. If anything was perfect anymore, that is. I've hit more dead ends, as has Jacob in Forks. We have decided he should come to visit my family and we can figure out our next move. Emmett is eager to return to the States and be involved in the search. I just am not ready to see Rosalie yet. My anger at her has eased, and to a degree I understand what she did, but she did take my Bella from me. She didn't give me the chance to make things right...My mind wanders to the child. If Bella is alive as I believe, what happened to our child? Is it alive? Is it a monster? If Bella survived, how can it be? Do I have a son or daughter out there? I push the thoughts out of my head because the pain is unbearable. I try to relax my face, not wanting to scare the humans walking toward me on the streets of our small town.

I look up at the storefronts, deciding to go into the only bookstore. I have always read a lot, but for the past two years, I spend a lot of my time in bookstores and libraries. It is what I imagine Bella would be doing, and it makes me feel close to her. I know it is ridiculous, but it's all I have. I step inside, the bells on the door ringing to announce my arrival. I look around, wondering why I've never been in here before, taking it all in. The bell rings behind me and some little person brushes my legs as she runs to the counter, calling to the woman working that she forgot her "wolfie". I feel my brow immediately furrow, noting the color of her hair, quickly shaking my head that the thought even crosses my mind.

She turns back to run off, the woman behind the counter telling her to have a good trip. I can't take my eyes off of her heart-shaped face, her porcelain skin, her chocolate brown eyes. She must feel me staring because she looks up at me curiously and stops right in front of me, hugging her stuffed wolf tight. A wolf? Her thoughts tell me she's as curious about me as I am about her. She looks at me for a minute taking me in, her thoughts showing me she finds it strange our hair is the same color and my eyes match her mama's. I squat down to her level, trying to unfurrow my brow so I don't scare her.

"Hello." She says. She straightens her back to show how brave she is. I can't help but smile.

"Hello. That's a nice wolf you have there." I hear her heart beating, but I know from her scent she isn't exactly human.

"Thank you." She smiles at me and looks at me carefully before continuing. "You have eyes like my mama."

I swallow nervously, wanting to ask her a hundred questions, but not wanting to frighten her. "I'm Edward. What's your name?"

She smiles proudly. "Renesmee Carlie Masen. I'm named after my grandmas and my grandpas. Everyone calls me Essie."

I stare at her silently for a little too long. She raises her eyebrow at me, so I clear my throat, trying to compose myself. "That's a beautiful name for a beautiful little girl." She absolutely beams at me and lights up my whole world. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt this is our child. I just don't know what to do about it. "Where is your mother, Essie?"

She looks like she just remembered something important. "She's waiting for me in the car. We're going to Mount Rushmore! I better go before she worries. It was nice to meet you, Edward!" She rushes toward the door, wolf in hand.

I stand there, clenching my fists. My wonder turns to fury. How could Bella not tell me I have a daughter? How could she deprive me of knowing such a magnificient creature? Does she really hate me that much? I realize if I don't act swiftly and smartly, I could lose this opportunity. I slip out of the store, watching Renesmee climb into the back of a silver Volvo S40. Her mother hooks her in, kisses her and closes her door, turning to return to the driver's seat. I stay back in the shadows and drink in the sight of Bella.

Bella was always beautiful to me. Now, as a vampire, she is exquisite. She is still my Bella, but more refined and graceful. As angry as I am with her right now, it takes more control than I have ever exercised to keep myself where I am, and not rush over to her and sweep her up into my arms. My love, my mate, my wife. She is right there and yet she is farther away from me than she has ever been. She must feel me staring because she quickly glances up and down the street before sliding into the car and pulling away.

The pain of loss that shoots through my chest and stomach should be enough to knock me over, but I hold steady. I watch them drive away. My wife. My daughter. Renesmee. Without thinking too hard, I slip through the alleyways and out of town and I run as fast as my legs will carry me.

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BELLA POV**

Three hours and three rounds of the same Taylor Swift cd later, I finally turn off the music and glance over my shoulder to look at Renesmee in the backseat. She's been quiet this whole time.

"Baby, what's wrong? You didn't sing along to your favorites."

I turn back to the road, glancing to see her in the rearview mirror as she mulls over her answer.

"When I went into get my wolfie there are a man in there. He had my same color hair! Isn't that silly?"

My grip on the steering wheel tightens and I wait a few moments to answer her, my mind racing. He couldn't have found me. Why would he even still be looking? I'm the woman who left him to have her 'monster baby'. He wouldn't be looking for me. It would be impossible. I unconsciously slow the car down, needing to focus my attention on this conversation. I slide the car onto the shoulder of the road and turn on the hazzards. I try to stay calm as I turn in my seat to face my daughter, carefully choosing my words and trying to keep my voice light.

"Your same hair? That IS silly. Did this man tell you his name?"

Renesmee's eyes are wide and she shakes her curls adamantly.

"Nope, he just said he liked my wolfie!"

My child is lying to me. I smile at her encouragingly, inwardly screaming.

"Who wouldn't like your wolfie? Are you sure he didn't say his name Essie?"

She tilts her head to the side and squints her eyes, as if she's trying very hard to remember. My child is putting on quite a show.

"Maybe he did. I think he maybe said Robert. Yeah. Robert!"

I take an unneeded breath, not wanting to scare her. I had fully expected her to say Edward and my world to be turned upside down.

"Was there anything else interesting about this Robert, Renesmee?"

She shakes her head again, slower this time.

"No mama, I promise. He was just nice and not many people have my hair."

I nod once, smiling to reassure her that she didn't do anything wrong. My daughter wouldn't lie to me. I'm just overreacting.

"You're right Essie, not many people do."

I shift in my seat, pulling the car back onto the road to continue our drive. So a man has the same color hair as Essie. Why am I freaking out? I take another deep breath and smile when my little girl requests I turn the cd back on. This time she sings along and I relax slightly as I speed down the highway. I force thoughts of Edward out of my head and focus on our daughter's voice.

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RENESMEE POV**

I feel bad for lying to my mama. I never lie to her about anything, but I could see her tense up. I was worried she would tell me not to talk to Edward anymore. I probably shouldn't care about him, but he didn't feel like a stranger to me. He feels like my comfy pajamas or my wolfie. Familiar. That's silly, I know. All of it seems silly. I don't understand it, but mama says to trust my instincts and they say I should get to know Edward better. Find out more.

I sing loudly and with extra feeling, just to show mama that I'm alright. Everything is normal. She seems to relax, so I know it worked. I promise myself I won't bring up Edward to mama ever again. I hug my wolfie extra tight, wanting this trip to be over so we can get home.

That has never happened before.

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EDWARD POV**

I run close enough to the road to see or hear Bella's car at all times, but far enough away to stay out of sight. I stop abruptly when her car stops, wondering if there is a problem. I lurk in the trees, listening to their conversation and hearing my daughter lie to her mother about me. A smile creeps over my face, hope filling me. She is intelligent. Extremely intelligent, and obviously growing quickly. Does she suspect? I am not sure from her thoughts she is at that point yet, but she wants to get to know me. That's enough for now.

I know if Bella learns I am around, she will disappear again. I need help. I need Jacob. I abhor the thought, but I know Bella won't run from him. She won't suspect we are working together. Why would she?


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note: An extra chapter this week. We hope this makes you happy! It makes us happy. We are getting to the good part. This brings in Jake's POV. Let us know what you think about him and the story in general!**

**We still do not own the characters, unfortunately. Some of them own us...er...You get the picture.**

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**JACOB POV**

I've never felt as low as I did when Bella married Edward. I lost the only girl I ever loved to a bloodsucker. She was ready to give up her life to be one of them. The confirmation that Edward gave that she'd really left him is the highest high I have ever felt. Well, maybe not the highest. The highest was probably her kissing me before the battle with the newborns. Anyway, I digress. The knowledge that she left him, that she's still human, has given me so much hope. Maybe she'll finally realize for herself what I've been telling her all along.

I ignore the nagging voice in the back of my head asking why I haven't heard from her. I have been a man on a mission. Sam is pissed that I haven't been putting the pack first. Instead, I've opted to search for a pale face who isn't even my imprintee. I'm sure you can hear my eyes rolling out of my head. The more time that goes by, the more I hate taking orders from Sam. I know, I know. I gave him rights to be Alpha when I refused, but shit. It's too much sometimes.

I knew Charlie was investigating Bella's whereabouts. He wouldn't be Charlie if he weren't. He's a cop for Christ's sake. It's not in his wiring to give up. That's where Bella gets it from. I asked him a lot of questions. Due to our relationship and his friendship with my father, he gave me what he didn't give Edward. Not that it was much. Every trail had run cold for Charlie. He ran a trace on the one call he got from Bella and she had been somewhere in Fairbanks, Alaska on a cell phone. The phone signal was never emitted again, so we were pretty sure she trashed it. Charlie made fast friends with the Chief of Police up there. They canvassed the town and put Bella's picture everywhere, but nothing ever came of it. We could only assume she'd moved on.

I checked in with Edward every few days and we exchanged information. I probably should have kept what I learned to myself, to ensure I got to her first, but I knew the Cullens had infinite resources and if I withheld from him, he'd withhold from me. No matter how much I hated it, we needed each other. Bella brought us together once again, even if she wasn't here to see it. I never asked him what happened between them. I just made my own assumptions and went with them. I know Bella's out there somewhere. I'd feel it inside if she weren't. Yes. I'm a man on a mission. Find Bella, be sure she's okay, and then convince her to give me a chance.

I almost feel sorry for Edward. Almost.

I'm pulled out of my thoughts when my phone vibrates. I glance at it. A text from Edward, speak of the devil himself.

_"I found Bella. Need your help. Get here."_

I only give myself enough time to tell Sam and my dad that I'm leaving, and may be gone a while. I head out into the woods, put my phone and my shorts securely on my ankle, phase and run like hell to the state line. I figure once I get close enough to their house, I will smell the Cullens and easily locate them. I don't let up the entire way and I get there in the course of a few hours. Before I know it or have even had time to think about it, I'm knocking on the front door. I can tell they are expecting me, although I get the feeling Edward, the son of a bitch that he is, didn't tell them. He isn't even here. I assume that Alice saw their futures disappear and they figured I'd be showing up.

Everyone seems uncomfortable. Too uncomfortable. Not even like 'here we are, mortal enemies hanging out' uncomfortable. Uncomfortable like I get the disinct feeling they are all keeping something from me. I spend days here. Days wondering where the hell Edward is after his cryptic text. Days being dressed up like a freaking Ken doll for Alice's entertainment. Days of Esme cooking for me and Carlisle making conversation. It seems Blondie and Emmett are no where to be found, which is interesting, but I don't ask.

Finally, Edward shows up. Four days later. The shithead. He apologizes and says he had to keep an eye on Bella, so she wouldn't get away again. I know he's hiding something. I can see it in his creepy, golden eyes. There is more going on here.

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**BELLA POV**

The thirteen hour drive to Keystone, South Dakota took me about seven. I didn't want to go too fast during the day and wasn't in a real hurry now that Renesmee seemed to be acting normal. Before we began our sight seeing, I stopped at the first blue standalone mailbox that came into view. Renesmee has made a game of finding it on each of our little trips, and is pleased with herself that she found it so fast.

"Mama, Mama! There! At ten o'clock!"

Jason, who works at the store part-time, has taught my innocent daughter this directional skill to help him pick up chicks. I laugh and look to my left. Sure enough, at the edge of a giant empty parking lot is the mailbox she's gotten so excited about. I'm barely parked before she's already unbuckling herself.

"I want to do it! Wait for me please!"

Smiling, I get out of the car and walk around to open Essie's door for her. She always puts the envelope in the mailbox so I don't know why she's so excited this time. Essie hops out of the car and snatches the envelope from my hand, standing in front of the mailbox. Her face falls and I move to be beside her, kneeling to her level.

"Baby what's wrong?"

I wonder if she's upset about me asking all of the questions at the beginning of our drive, or if she's wanting to tell me more about it. I glance around quickly to be sure that we're alone before turning back to Renesmee.

She sniffles, "I'm still too small. I can't reach it by myself."

My body visibly relaxes when she speaks. She was just hoping to be tall enough by now to do it on her own.

"That's why I'm here right? I'll help you." I kiss my little girl's cheek and easily hoist her up, watching her slip the very last payment to Eleazar in the mail slot.

She doesn't say anything else until we're back in the car and I'm punching in directions to Mount Rushmore in the GPS.

"Mama? Now that we're done mailing letters to Uncle Eleazar we're never ever gonna go on trips anymore are we?"

When I turn to face her, Renesmee's bottom lip is sticking out and she's hugging her wolf like it's keeping her from sinking. I reach behind me and push her curls behind her ear, cupping her face.

"Of course we will baby, we just won't have the mailbox game. You'll have to come up with a new game, okay?"

She mulls this over for a moment and nods, her facial features relaxing.

"And we'll still get t-shirts?"

I can't help but laugh quietly, rubbing my thumb across her cheek.

"Of course Essie, we don't have one for every state yet do we?"

Renesmee seems pleased with my answer and smiles excitedly.

"Then let's GOOOOO!"

My sweet impatient child is easily pleased. I glance around the parking lot one more time before I pull onto the main road.

* * *

**RENESMEE POV**

I love trips with my mama. It's our special thing, but I can't stop wondering about Edward. I don't know why. I have met a lot people at the bookstore and made a lot of friends. Maybe it's because of mama's reaction. I just can't stop wondering what it means. It must mean something, right? I love Mount Rushmore. It's so cool. I've read about the presidents in history books and that someone would think to carve their faces in the side of a mountain? It's art. My mama and I stop to get me some chocolate, because I really love chocolate. I also want a t-shirt, because that's what we do on every trip.

While we're in line a family catches my eye. I mean, obviously I have seen a lot of families since I've been in the world, but for some reason, I pay attention to this one. A mom. A dad. A little girl. I look at the girl carefully. She has black hair like her mom. Her nose is her mother's. Her cheeks and jaw are all her dad. I look at mama and I don't see much of myself. Our face is shaped the same, and she told me when I was pretty new to the world that my eyes are like hers used to be, but my nose, my hair, my cheeks are not from her. I look at the father again and start to wonder about mine. Where is he? Why aren't the three of us together like that family?

I look at my mama carefully and wonder if she's lonely. She doesn't have any real friends. Our only family is in Alaska. She only has me. She looks at me with worry and asks if I'm alright, and I realize I'm frowning. I make myself smile for mama, because I don't want to make her sad, and tell her I'm just hungry.

* * *

**BELLA POV**

We stay at a hotel room overnight and spend the whole next day exploring Mount Rushmore and the park. We opted out of the guided tour and chose to explore on our own. Renesmee wanted to stay in the woods until the sun went down, just knowing she would see a wolf. I was amused and helped look with her, knowing we needed to go a few states over to see what she wanted. I had to practically beg her to leave, and she finally agreed after I promised we would look again soon. Between all of the walking and crashing from her sugar high since she refuses to eat any human food but chocolate these days, which I'm lucky to even get her to eat, she is exhausted. She's half asleep in my arms by the time we make it back to the Volvo and start the long drive home.

My mind drifts as I drive down the empty highway. Since Renesmee told me about seeing the man with hair the same shade as hers, I can't help but be paranoid. I want to ask Renesmee more questions about him but don't want her to feel like I didn't believe her when she said there was nothing else special about him. I hear her even breathing and turn to see her asleep with her lips parted, snoring softly. I turn the music down and drive faster since she's sleeping and it's late out, the long stretch of highway empty.

Of course it wasn't Edward, there was no way it could be. But while our daughter sleeps in the backseat I can't help but wonder where he is and how he's doing. And if he would ever forgive me for what I've done.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: We don't own Twilight or it's characters...it all owns us. We hope you enjoy this chapter and our story. Hit the review button when you're done and tell us what you love or even hate. Here goes...**

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EDWARD POV**

I spent the long weekend in South Dakota, always close, but never close enough to be seen or smelled. Bella seemed to look around a lot. I hope Essie mentioning my hair didn't make her paranoid. I can't lose track of them again. I can't lose my daughter. Bella is an amazing mother, and she and Essie are obviously very close. The only thing missing in their perfect picture of a family is me. The more I watched and listened, the more exceptional I could see Renesmee is. Reading novels at around two, looking to be five or six. I can't wait to speak with Carlisle about her and see what we can find out. I am not aware of another half vampire, half human child.

My daughter is gifted. Not just in her intelligence, but really gifted. She can communicate with a touch of her hand. I want to experience it. Maybe once she trusts me, she'll show me. Maybe I can learn everything that has happened in her life to now. Everything I've missed, everything denied me. As the days pass, my anger at Bella lessens some. I would wonder if she remembered me after her change, but she had given Renesmee a part of my name. A link to me. Masen. So why would she keep our daughter from me? She has to know I would want her...Want both of them...Doesn't she?

I run home much the way I ran to South Dakota, close enough to hear them, far enough away to remain undetected. I'm a mess by the time I walk back into the house. Esme looks concerned. I virtually disappeared on her and come back looking tattered and torn. All of a sudden, the stench hits me. Jacob is here. I smile at Esme reassuringly and look at Jacob. He doesn't look amused. I can tell from his thoughts that he took me literally and has been waiting here for the past few days.

"I apologize for keeping you waiting. Bella left town for the weekend, and I followed her. I couldn't risk us losing her again." I hear Esme gasp, but keep my eyes on Jacob. He nods in understanding, but looks at me suspiciously.

"So what's the plan, bloo- Edward?" I snicker slightly at his near slip up.

"Well, dog, I think you should approach her. I don't think she'll run from you, but we need to wait a few days. Just to be sure." I don't want to mention that I want to observe them more. Get to know my daughter better. Just in case...

He nods tentatively, and I raise my eyebrow just noticing his attire.

"Versace?"

"Alice." He says with a bit of attitude.

I chuckle, wondering when I should break it to him that Bella is a vampire.

* * *

**BELLA POV**

We arrived home in the middle of the night, Essie not waking up when I carried her to bed. I spent the rest of the night sitting in the chair in her room, debating with myself if I was okay with leaving her at the store to drive somewhere to call Charlie. I just couldn't on our trip to Mount Rushmore. Now that she's older, it's best not to call him when she's around. I don't want her to hear me lie. Charlie doesn't even know about her... I'm sure he would hate me if he did.

I get ready for the day while Renesmee is still sleeping, mapping out an easy day trip that will get me home before dark and the store closes. I wait until it's late enough in the morning to text Jason to make sure that he's okay with Essie being at the store all day. I'm not surprised when I get a quick text back from him saying that it's no problem. Everyone who works for me loves my daughter, and they are more than willing to spend the day with her at the store. We never have many customers and spending time with Essie makes their shifts fly by.

I busy myself making waffles and set chocolate syrup on the table beside her plate, hoping it will entice her to eat. When she finally shuffles into the kitchen in her pajamas, her curls going every which way, I know it will be an uphill battle.

"But mama I don't want waffles. Can't I have ice cream?"

Her bottom lip is sticking out and I am amused with myself for actually debating letting her get away with eating ice cream for breakfast.

"Essie, you eat all of those waffles and then you can have some ice cream. How about that?"

She sighs as if this is a daunting task, but grabs the bottle of chocolate syrup with both hands and starts pouring it over her waffles. I'm at her side in a flash, taking the chocolate syrup from her and putting it in the fridge.

"But MAMA, not every little waffle hole is filled!"

I look down at her waffle swimming in chocolate syrup and back to her wide eyes, trying my best to be stern.

"Renesmee Carlie, it's fine. There's more sugar on that thing than anything else. Eat."

She does as I say and while my back is turned rinsing dishes, I can't help but smile as she grumbles under her breath.

After breakfast, I wait outside the bathroom while my modest child takes a quick bath. She argues with me for only a few minutes about what to wear, and I talk her into long pants to fit the cooler rainy weather. I had to promise to let her eat ice cream for breakfast tomorrow, but it was a battle I was okay with losing.

Dropping Essie off at the shop goes smoothly. Jason reassures me they'll have fun rearranging the Self Help section, and I make sure she has plenty of snacks and art supplies before I leave. I can't seem to shake the feeling of being watched and glance around before rolling my eyes, telling myself I'm going crazy before I get into the car and set the GPS to take me to Spokane. It's a four hour trip, but I know I can do it in about two.

I glance back at the shop in the rearview mirror before turning on the radio, enjoying not having to listen to Taylor Swift.

* * *

**EDWARD POV**

I speak with Carlisle about Renesmee while Jacob is asleep. He is quite surprised and thrilled to hear about how advanced she is and how normal she appears. He lets a thought or two slip regarding why Bella wouldn't have contacted us and his regret that we have all missed out on Renesmee's life to now. He catches himself when he sees me frown, putting a hand on my back.

"I apologize, son. You have enough to deal with without my thoughts."

I assure him it's fine. It's nothing I haven't been mulling over in my own mind. He nods and promises me he'll see what he can find out, though it would be easier if he could examine Renesmee himself. We both grow quiet and though he's hiding his thoughts behind Beatles song lyrics, I know we're thinking the same thing. We hope he gets the opportunity.

I spend the rest of the night outside of Bella's modest house. I wish more than ever before that I could hear her thoughts. Her transformation hasn't opened her mind to me at all. I can, however, read our daughter's mind. She's a happy little girl, though troubled since her return from the trip. She keeps wondering about me and she is trying to put everything together for herself. Her intelligence doesn't cease to amaze me, and I have no doubt she'll figure things out before anyone tells her. I just hope it's not before I can speak to Bella. I will not do that until I am confident she won't run again.

The next day I watch the bookstore, hoping for an opportunity to speak with Renesmee, but she isn't there. Just as I am ready to give up and return home, I see the silver Volvo approaching. I ensure I'm out of sight, and watch Bella park at the curb, hurridly bringing Renesme inside. My daughter is clinging to her wolf and smiling broadly.

"So mama? You have errands and Jason is going to use me to pick up chicks?"

Bella laughs and it sounds like music. I bite my lip to prevent a laugh from escaping.

I hear the bells on the door ring as they step inside. I stay where I am and I wait for Bella to leave. I keep waiting even after she drives away, just to be sure she's gone. When I am satisfied that Bella isn't coming right back, I step out onto the sidewalk and walk into the store. I start to look around and get my bearings, and immediately hear Renesmee.

"Edward!" Before I even realize what is happening, she is hugging my legs. I'm overwhelmed by the show of affection and clear my throat, before smiling down at her.

"Well, hello there, Renesmee. How are you?"

I squat down to hug her and I feel my dead heart soar.

"I'm doing great, I guess." She frowns slightly, and I stand back up.

"What's the matter?" I ask her.

She shrugs. "I dunno."

"Well, you can talk to me if you like, or you don't have to say anything at all."

She smiles up at me and takes my hand. "Let's sit down."

I nod and let her lead me. "Did you have a nice trip?"

"Mmmhmm. I got a t-shirt to add to my collection, and we saw the presidents...Something happened on the way though."

She frowns again. I raise my eyebrow, but say nothing, just letting her continue.

"I told mama about how our hair matches and she didn't seem to like that..."

I shrug, not about to lie to Renesmee, but also not willing to have any part in facilitating tension between her and Bella.

"Well, maybe she just found it strange. It is an uncommon hair color."

She nods, but I can tell she's not really satisfied with that answer. We sit at a table that has drawing supplies spread out across it.

"Do you want to see my drawings?" She looks a little nervous and chews her lip like Bella always did.

I smile broadly and nod, watching as she flips through some pictures. I'm both amazed by her talent and a little shaken by what I see. Jacob. She knows more about Jacob than about her own father. I feel the anger take hold of me again, but I hide it from her.

"Why wolves, Essie?"

She shrugs. "I just love them and mama always tells me stories about them...I want to see one in the wild!"

Her eyes grow wide and she looks excited. I can't deny her anything. Even with my anger and jealousy eating at me. I lean in over the table toward her.

"I'll tell you a secret, but you have to promise not to tell anyone."

I watch her nod, wide-eyed.

"I've seen a wolf around town. Watch out your window tonight, and maybe you'll catch a glimpse."

The smile that spreads across her little face could make me do absolutely anything for her. My mind suddenly starts reeling wondering if they have enough money. I want to spoil my child.

We spend much of the day together in the little bookstore before I notice the time and worry that Bella could come back anytime.

"Essie, I have to get going."

Her little face falls and I don't want to move from my chair.

"We'll see each other again soon. I promise."

She visibly relaxes and then watches me carefully.

"Can I tell you a secret, Edward?"

I nod and she reaches out and to touch my face. My breath catches in anticipation of seeing her gift first hand. She shows me how happy she is we found each other. How close she feels to me. How she hopes we'll be in each other's lives for a long time. I know she's on the cusp of figuring things out.

It both scares and thrills me.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N- Still don't own anything. We'd be a lot richer and not up on Monday morning if we did. Hit the review button when you've finished if you have any thoughts, questions or feedback to share. We love to hear it!**

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**BELLA POV**

My short phone call with Charlie went well. It's always hard to say goodbye, but I promised him I would be calling again soon. I want to tell him about his granddaughter, and I force myself off the phone before I blurt it out. Some day I'll tell him. Maybe when Renesmee's growth slows down more. When I'm sure we can go back to Forks to visit.

The drive back home goes quickly. I stop only briefly to hunt on the way back in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. I'm anxious to get home and see my daughter. I made one phone call to the store, and Jason said she was busy showing off her drawings to a customer. Renesmee isn't the least bit shy and is very proud of her skills, and rightfully so. Her latest drawings of her wolf look so much like Jacob that between seeing them and my phone call with Charlie, I'm more homesick than ever.

When I get back to the bookstore, it's just starting to get dark outside and it has stopped raining. I walk in to find Renesmee sitting at her desk drawing, and Jason standing at the counter looking bored.

"Your day was this exciting?"

I smile at Jason, ready to get the details of their day together at the store. Instead he just shrugs and waits a beat to say anything.

"She's spent most of the day with a customer, showing him her drawings. She was of no use to me picking up that blonde chick who comes in here for romance novels."

I keep the smile plastered on my face, but glance at the back of my child's head.

"Jason did he say his name? The customer I mean."

He shrugs again.

"Not that I heard. No funny business happened, I swear. They just sat there."

I nod my thanks and walk toward the small table. As soon as I get closer to Essie's corner of the store, I'm hit with a familiar scent that I can't quite place. I try to shake it off and bend down to kiss her hair before sitting down beside her.

"I heard you had a big day, showing off."

My daughter looks up and smiles, the hint of a blush hitting her cheeks as if I caught her doing something bad.

"Oh yeah that, um... man that liked my wolfie, Robert. He came in again and since he liked wolfie so much I thought I'd show him some of my drawings."

She's not telling me everything and I know it, but I don't push. Something about the scent in the air has calmed me.

"Are you ready to go home then? Eat something?"

Essie makes a face. I promise her if she eats something of nutritional value, she can cover it in as much chocolate syrup as she pleases. We leave the store with Jason at closing time and go home. She draws at the kitchen table while I make her dinner, hoping she'll forget about the chocolate syrup and not pour it on her spaghetti and meatballs. The whole time we're in the kitchen together she sings all of her favorite songs and I focus on my daughter's voice rather than the smell of the food.

After a small argument over how unfair it was that I chose something for her to eat with no chocolate syrup on top, I get her to eat most of her dinner.

She's getting more independent these days and wanting to choose her pajamas and get ready for bed herself. I stay in the kitchen cleaning up, still distracted by my phone call earlier with Charlie.

And then I hear her gasp.

"Mama! He's real! MAMA, HE'S REAL, come here!"

I run quickly upstairs and into her room, stopping behind Essie with my hands on her shoulders, staring back at the large wolf staring at us. Jacob? Impossible. But it's him. No matter how fuzzy my memory of before my transformation may be, it's him. I'm frozen and know I need to do something. My daughter is practically shaking with excitement of seeing her wolf come to life. He looks back and forth between us before focusing on Renesmee. As soon as I break his eye contact and feel like I can move, I step in front of Essie and pull the curtains closed.

* * *

**JAKE POV**

Edward claims he has something to tell me. It's important. I have a strong feeling it has something to do with whatever everyone has been keeping from me. He tells me to phase and we run through the forest. I know he's dragging ass, because he is so fast. I don't presume that I'd be able to keep up if he went full speed. I see him grin and curse myself for complimenting him when he can get in my brain. We slow down and walk toward the edge of the woods behind a small house. Edward hangs back. He nods toward the backyard.

"Go, Jacob. Watch the house. Then you'll know everything."

What the fuck is he talking about? I roll my eyes and walk into the backyard, staying in wolf form and watching the house. I hear movement inside. Singing? A child? My eyes grow wide as I listen. I inhale deeply, confused by the combination of smells in the air. What the hell? Another vampire. I look around the yard and into the trees, only seeing Edward. He doesn't look alarmed. I swing my big head back toward the house, everything coming together in my mind at once.

Bella's voice, but different. The scents. A little girl. Bella is a vampire and she has a child. That much I know, but who? How? The child sounds too old...What the fuck is going on here? I whimper as pain rips through my chest, fury overtaking me. I snarl, ready to confront Edward. I swing my head back around, baring my teeth at him. A small gasp brings me back, and I turn back toward the house, following the sound to the upstairs window.

Suddenly the world stops. Everything in my peripheral view blurs out of my vision. I fall back on my hind legs. Every attachment I ever had keeping me on this Earth is suddenly irrelevant. Now all that matters is her. A little girl with copper curls and brown eyes like Bella's. As soon as her name crosses my mind, I know I feel nothing for her any longer. Nothing more than friendship. This girl is my gravity now. My world. I will be her best friend, and it will be my only purpose in life to keep her happy and safe.

My eyes are locked with the child's. She looks beyond happy to see me. Does she feel it too? How important we'll be to each other? I barely notice when Bella walks up, until I hear the girl squealing with delight that 'he's real'. She says it over and over again. I finally rip my eyes away, just for a moment, settling my gaze on Bella. She is definitely a vampire. I look between her and her daughter. Edward's daughter. It's so obvious...Suddenly the curtains close and the pain I felt for Bella a few moments ago is replaced by a much stronger pain that settles in my chest. A yearning I've never known. I'm freaked the fuck out, so I do the only thing I can think to do.

I run like hell away from there.

* * *

**EDWARD POV**

I'm frozen in my place. I am absolutely stunned by what just happened.

He runs past me into the woods and I let him go. He needs some time to himself and I can respect that.

_Is this happening? _Jacob Black has just imprinted on my daughter.

This didn't go quite the way I planned...

* * *

**BELLA POV**

I sit on the bed with my little girl, my baby, crying in my lap. I know she's upset with me for shutting the curtains. She pulls herself up to peek one more time. I know he's not there anymore. When she turns back to face me with her lip quivering, I know I have to say something... To explain myself.

"Renesmee..."

I hold my arms out to her and wait until she's curled back in my lap to speak.

"You and I are different, right?"

She nods, still crying too hard to speak.

"He's different too."

Renesmee thinks on this bit of information for a few minutes, her breathing becoming more even as her crying stops.

"Who is he, mama? My wolf. You know him."

My eyes meet hers and I brush the stray tears from her cheeks with the pads of my thumbs. I can't lie to her.

"I knew him a long time ago. Before you were born."

I kiss her hair, laying back on the bed holding my daughter. Her long day and crying has worn her out. Her eyelids are getting heavy and I hope she falls asleep soon.

"Mama? He'll come back right?"

I don't know the answer and I'm thankful that she drifts off before I can say either way. I wait until Essie starts snoring before leaving her room.

I sit outside on the front porch for the rest of the night. Wanting Jacob to come back. Not wanting him to come back. If Jacob knows, who else knows? Does Edward know? I become lost in thought for hours, straining my mind to remember as much as possible from before the change.

The sight of the sun rising snaps me out of it and I head back inside, wanting to be there to console my daughter when she wakes up. It isn't until I'm in the house that I realize she isn't there.

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JAKE POV**

I run until I knew Edward wasn't around. Then I fall to the ground just letting my mind process everything. Regardless of how screwed up all of this is, and boy is it ever screwed up, I feel the pull. I know the ache won't ease unless I'm close to the child. She's my responsibility now. I think about phasing back and talking to Bella, but decide I'm on overload tonight. Frankly, I can't take any more information.

I slowly walk back toward the house, hanging back enough to stay undetected, but going close enough to keep an eye on things and ensure her safety. I lay down, resting my head on my paw and at some point, I fall asleep.

When the sun comes up, I start to wake up, realizing I slept better than I have for the past two years...or maybe ever. As I become more coherent, I realize something is tugging at my fur. I crack an eye open and there she is. The child is snuggled into my side, her fists gripping my fur, sleeping sweetly. The peace I feel is like nothing I've ever felt in my life.

I lay my head back down and close my eyes again.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: We still own nothing, but we're grateful to SM for sharing. It's her world and we just play in it.**

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**Enjoy! Here. We. Go...**

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**JAKE POV**

When I open my eyes again, she's sitting next to me, petting my head and staring at me with those big, brown, expressive eyes.

"You're my wolf." She says so matter of factly. Like it makes perfect sense to her.

I slowly stand and nod to her to stay right there. She looks nervous, so I grin at her and she giggles, nodding her understanding. I walk until I'm sure I'm out of sight, phase back and pull my shorts on. I slowly walk back toward her, not wanting to alarm her.

She looks at me almost in wonder and says even more confidently, "You're my wolf."

"My name is Jacob."

I sit on the ground next to her, not wanting to intimidate her by towering over her.

"My Jacob."

I can't help but smile. She sticks her little hand out to me. My huge hand swallows hers.

"I'm Renesmee."

I nod, still smiling. "Nessie." Her whole face lights up like a Christmas tree. I guess she likes that nickname, so I'll go with it.

"Nessie, does your mother know you're out here?"

I raise my eyebrow. Her eyes go wide and I can see her start to panic. I stand up, still holding her little hand.

"Come on then, let's go. We wouldn't want her to worry, would we?"

She shakes her head, visibly relieved that I intend to go with her. We walk slowly toward the house and I can hear Bella pacing. Same worry wart. Nessie throws the back door open and Bella swings her head around to look at us. I can see how nervous she is. I shrug and smile, almost as if not even a day has passed since we were hanging out together in La Push.

"Hey, Bells."

I see her relax some, but she bites her lip. An old habit I recognize. Same Bells.

She nods, formally.

"Jake."

She motions to the kitchen table, so I sit. Nessie pulls her chair right up next to me. Bella starts cooking. I'm grateful, because I'm starved, but also because it's familiar and reassuring.

She looks at Nessie sternly.

"Essie, we'll talk about what you did wrong later, but for right now, you will eat what I cook you. No arguments."

Nessie nods, blushing slightly.

"Okay, mama. My name is Nessie now though."

I snicker. Bella glares at me, figuring I have something to do with it.

"But you've always been Essie."

Nessie shrugs.

"I was, but not anymore. My Jacob called me Nessie. So that's my name."

I can see Bella getting really angry.

"It's not a big deal, Bells."

She grits her teeth.

"You come swooping in here and name my child after a swamp thing and it's not a big deal?"

I just nod, shrugging it off.

"A lot has happened, Bella. I'll have to clue you in after you've settled down. So uh, what's new?"

I look at Nessie and then back at her. Bella tells Nessie to go to her room until breakfast is ready. Her shoulders visibly slump. She stands up and stays next to me.

"Jacob?" Her little voice is shaking.

So I turn toward her and put my hands on your shoulders.

"Don't worry, Ness. Me and your mom need to talk. I'll be here when you come back."

I smile and she beams.

"Okay! I can show you my wolves!"

She scurries up the stairs and I turn toward Bella.

I furrow my brow.

"You told her about me?"

Bella nods and I sit back in my chair thoughtfully. The old me would have jumped on that. Made it a point of how we are connected and she has feelings for me. That version of me is gone.

"Why? Did you tell her about Edward? Does he know about her?"

I know he knows on some level, but I am not sure what's going on here, so it's a sincere question. She falls into one of the chairs across from me, like she needs to take a load off.

"No. And you can't tell her. If you are in contact with Edward, you can't tell him either."

She looks at me carefully, like she's trying to figure out if Edward is in on this.

"I have no loyalty to Edward. You of all people know that."

I grin at her, trying to relax her because she looks so damn tense.

"What happened Bella? I thought you were happy? Then all of a sudden you were gone...and now you're this? And she's here? You have to fill me in."

She nods, and then straightens up.

"Okay, Jake. I'll tell you everything, but first you need to tell me why you and my daughter are so damn connected."

Oh. Shit.

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**BELLA POV**

I only partially listen to Jacob as he tells me what I've already figured out, that he has imprinted on my daughter. I'm concentrating on Renesmee moving around upstairs in her bedroom: the creak of her bed when she sits, the turning of the pages in her notebook as she undoubtedly is choosing which drawings to show Jacob, her increased heart rate... I look up from the door back to Jacob. His mouth is still moving and he's looking at me like he's concerned I'm about to attack him. _Am I_ about to attack him? I hold my hand up for him to stop talking. It's white noise anyway. His mouth snaps shut and his eyes are wide, shifting from my gaze to Renesmee's door and back. We sit in silence until I find my voice.

"You can't have her."

He has the audacity to laugh at me.

"I'm not gonna kidnap your kid, Bells. Jesus Christ I'm not an idiot."

My mind reels at the possibility of what will happen. I remember enough about the imprinting process to know he won't leave- without her anyway. But his pack, his family, is in La Push.

"She's a baby Jacob."

He clears his throat and looks at Renesmee's bedroom door again.

"I was gonna ask you about that. How old is Ne- Essie?"

My jaw clenches at the slip up of her new nickname.

"She had her second birthday less than a month ago."

Jake thinks about this, trying to figure out when and how.

"It can't be explained, Jacob. It just... is. The honeymoon. I left when... I left after we found out."

"You mean that asshole knew you were pregnant?"

I subconsciously rub the palm of my hand across my flat stomach.

"We didn't know if she would..."

My throat closes up. I've never had to explain it before. I can't even remember it all myself. Jake looks at me expectantly, waiting for me to finish.

"I left before someone could make the choice for me."

As soon as the words come out of my mouth I regret saying a word to him. He was my best friend and I know that he deserved some sort of explanation for my disappearance, but this was too much. He must know I don't plan on saying anything else about the subject, so he moves on.

"Well Bells, here we are."

Jake has relaxed in his chair, seemingly relieved I haven't tried to kill him.

"Jake I was being serious. No one can know. Edwa... the Cullens can't know."

He shrugs as if it's no big deal.

"They don't even live in Forks anymore. They left after you did."

I don't know why this news surprises me, but it does. Why did they leave? Are they really gone? Could I take my daughter there to meet her grandpa? Jake's loud voice pulls me from my thoughts.

"So here's the deal Bells. We both know I can't leave."

Scoffing, I nod towards the door.

"You can. I'll even walk with you to let you out."

He rolls his eyes, sitting up and squaring his shoulders to show me that he's serious.

"You know I won't do anything weird Bella. You remember Quil and Claire right?"

I close my eyes, trying my best to conjure up an image to go with these names. I nod, opening my eyes.

"He imprinted her and she was a toddler."

Jake laughs, "IS a toddler. And he takes care of her, watches out for her."

He's telling the truth and I know it, but cannot wrap my brain around him and my child. Now he's pleading.

"Bella it's just the two of you. I could..." He looks around my tidy house and shrugs, "Mow the lawn. Shit, I don't know. But I can't leave her. She wants me here too and you know it."

I look toward Renesmee's door and can hear her, holding her breath. She's been listening. Of course she has. I keep my voice low.

"Renesmee Carlie, breathe before you pass out and come in here."

She exhales and slowly opens her bedroom door, running as fast as her little legs can carry her down the stairs and to the table, pulling herself into my lap. She holds my face in her tiny hands.

"Mama I promise I'll even eat food without chocolate syrup. I'll wear my coat. You can't make my wolfie leave! I just found him!"

I look from my child's wide eyes to Jacob, both of them waiting for my answer.

They didn't really leave me with a choice.

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**JAKE POV**

Thank God she gave in. There is no way in hell I could leave and go back to La Push and leave Nessie here. It physically hurts to be away from her, and I suspect she may have the same problem at some point if she doesn't already. I'd live, I suppose, but I could never put my imprint through that. Bella will be pissed when she finds out that Edward and most of his family are here. She'll really be pissed when she finds out I knew. I can't risk her kicking me out of here. I know I'll have to tell her sooner rather than later.

I kiss Nessie on the top of her head and tell Bella I'm stepping outside to call my dad. I walk out back, knowing Edward is out there. I can smell him. How has Bella missed him? I shake my head and pull out my phone, texting him first.

_"You heard all that. So you know you have to tell her. Or I will. I can't be part of anything that might hurt Nessie...Drama between you and Bella would do just that."_

I call Sam and then my dad. Neither of them are happy to hear I'll be staying here indefinitely. They are even less thrilled when I tell them who my imprintee is. Whatever. The gods obviously have a plan. Who are they to understand it? I sure as hell don't. I hope my dad will come to accept my decision. I really don't have a choice, but disappointing him is not something I want to do.

When I go back inside, I watch Bella and wonder how she did it. Left everyone to go it completely alone. She catches me watching her and looks at me questioningly. I scratch the back of my head.

"You were my best friend, Bella. You can talk to me. You aren't alone anymore."

She just blinks a time or two and I turn to Nessie.

"Show me your wolves, kid."

Nessie grins, grabbing my hand and pulling me up the stairs.

"I finally have a whole family!"

I laugh, wondering what that makes me. Her uncle? Her big brother?

"Yeah, Ness. We're family."

It's not conventional, but it's the truth.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N - It's Monday. Update day. Yeah, we're at work again, so not making any money on this. It's all owned by SM.**

**Some of you have been dying for Edward and Bella to meet again...Here it comes.**

**Please review and leave your thoughts.**

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**EDWARD POV**

I stood in the woods, not hearing much of anything after Bella said, "I left before someone could make the choice for me." Did she really think I would have forced her into something she didn't want? I was petrified and digesting some pretty unbelievable information. How could she just give up on me and leave me like that? Without even talking to me first? I feel the anger seep into every fiber of my being. She lost all faith in me and she robbed me of being a part of my daughter's life. How could she? How did we end up like this?

I start moving toward home, letting out a roar and pushing over a tree. It rips out of the ground at the roots. I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket, but I ignore it. I run full speed, trying to relax myself. I am so hurt and so angry. Did she really think that of me? Does she think it still?

All too soon, I arrive at our house and storm through the front door. Alice looks up at me wide eyed.

"Edward? What's the matter?"

I just shake my head, unable to say anything. She puts her hand on my arm.

"Edward, please calm down. Did something happen to Bella or Renesmee?"

I shake my head again.

"Later, Alice. Okay? Can you do me a favor?"

She nods, wide eyed.

"Anything, Edward. You know that."

"Call Emmett. It's time for him and Rose to come home."

I head toward the stairs and she gasps, "I knew it!"

I spend the whole evening in my room, laying on the bed I got for Bella, staring at the ceiling. When the sun comes up, I shower and get dressed and go into town to wait by the store, just hoping for a chance to talk to my daughter.

She's what's important.

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**RENESMEE POV**

It's cloudy this morning. I love cloudy days because mama is free to be outside without worry. I sit up in bed and rub my eyes. My Jacob went to sleep on the couch, but that didn't last too long. I went and got him at some point during the night and now he is sleeping in the chair by my bed. My heart hurts when he's away. I watch him sleeping, smiling. I never had a friend before. Now I have him and Edward.

I scrunch my nose up, thinking about everything I heard Jacob and my mama say last night. I heard Edward's name. What is with grownups and all the secrets? I sigh and grab my wolfie, pushing my hand through my crazy hair and go downstairs to find mama. She is reading on the couch, so I sit next to her and cuddle up to her.

"Mama? Who is Edward?"

Her eyes get bigger than I've ever seen, and she blinks a couple times. I guess I surprised her.

"I have good hearing, mama..."

"Nobody. He's nobody," she says, but she can't look at me.

I know she's not telling the truth. Frustrated, I go back upstairs and climb into my Jacob's lap and cry into his chest. I'm so confused. I don't understand what's going on. He opens his eyes, looking startled and puts his arm around me.

"What's wrong, kid?"

I just shrug because I don't know.

After a quiet and awkward breakfast, the three of us go to town. I'm going to stay at the bookstore with Jason while mama and Jacob get him some clothes and talk to the guy at the garage about a job. I'm sure what they really want to do is talk where I can't hear, but I don't care. I just hope Edward comes to see me today. Maybe he'll give me some answers.

I walk into the store ahead of them, making a beeline for my art supplies. I see Jacob look at me out of the corner of my eye, but I ignore both of them. Mama goes in the back and gets a bookstore t-shirt for him. I notice all the girls in the place looking at him. It just makes my mood worse. He's my Jacob. I scowl, wondering if he has a girlfriend.

I hear the bells on the door and know they left. I can feel the instant ache in my heart. Jason tries to talk to me, but I give him short answers and he goes back to the counter. Suddenly I feel a presence behind me.

"Essie? Are you alright?"

I feel relieved. Edward is here.

I jump up out of my chair and run over to hug him.

"I'm so glad to see you!"

He smiles and gets down on his knees. He hug me and pushes my hair out of my face. He smells like home and I feel a little better.

"What's wrong?"

I blurt it all out at once, not even taking a breath.

"I met my wolf, just like you promised and when he's gone my heart hurts. I heard he and mama talking and they said your name, but when I asked mama who's Edward, she said nobody. You aren't nobody, Edward. Are you? I mean, you can't be. You're my friend and..."

Before I know it, I'm crying again.

Edward leads me back to sit down at the table and he sits across from me, looking concerned.

"Renesmee? Look at me."

I look at him, trying not to cry anymore, trying to be brave.

"I never want you to question yourself, okay? You trust your instincts and follow your heart. Always. You're an amazing little girl. I'm so proud to...know you."

The way his voice sounds says more than the actual words. I put my hand on his face, showing him images of the family I saw at Mt. Rushmore, what I was thinking when I watched them. I show him how close to him I feel, our hair color, our noses, our cheekbones. They are the same...

I squint my eyes, watching him carefully. "Edward?"

"Yes?" He leans forward, looking like he expects something big.

"You're my daddy, aren't you?"

Before he can answer, I hear a loud gasp and we both turn to look. Mama is standing just inside the door with her hand over her mouth.

It's all the answer I need.

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**BELLA POV**

He's sitting there like he owns the place. My daughter, our daughter, is looking back and forth between us like she's torn on what to do. She knows. _He knows_. I hear Jacob beside me mutter "Shit" under his breath and my eyes finally leave Edward's to turn to him. Jake doesn't appear the least bit surprised. My mind can't process it fast enough. Was this planned? Is this some sick joke? I have to get out of here. I have to get Renesmee and get out of here. Before I can tell my feet to move, Edward is in front of me. Close enough to touch. Not that I'll touch him- I wouldn't be able to lift my arms if I tried. But I want to, if only to confirm that he's real and that he's really here.

"Bella, don't make a scene. You're scaring her."

His voice is so calm. He's taking her. Him and Jacob have planned to take her. Did Jacob fake the imprint? How did they find me? Have they been watching me? Scheming? The confusion must show on my face because this time Edward speaks firmer.

"The two of us obviously need to talk. Where our child can't hear us."

I can't look away from him. My husband. He looks the same. His messy hair, the sharpness of his jawline. I laugh to myself- why would I think he would look different? I hear the sound of my own voice and am as surprised as everyone else by the outburst. I didn't realize I was laughing out loud. I clamp my mouth shut and notice Edward's jaw is clenched. Why on earth is he mad? He didn't want her. He didn't want this. He said... _Didn't he?_ This isn't making sense.

My eyes flicker away from him as Jacob moves away from us and to where Renesmee is sitting. I want to reach out to her, to tell her everything will be okay. But she's clinging to Jacob for dear life and she looks angry at me. I was right, she knows. I owe her an explanation. I owe Edward an explanation. I glance at Jason behind the counter who looks scared to death and I give him a weak smile and a nod, hoping he'll let it go. I don't know how much he heard, but vow to give him a bonus. I can't bring myself look at Edward again and instead turn, walking out the door before he can touch me and force me to do so. I let him walk by me and follow a few steps behind, staring at his back. He's tense. We walk past the other shops before he turns into the woods, not glancing back to make sure I'm still behind him. When we're out of sight, both of us speed up, but I always keep a few paces behind him. I don't know what he has to say. We have nothing to say to each other. I may not remember much from before the change, but I remember being in his bedroom. Him looking at me, at my belly, with disgust. The memory makes me angry and I stop walking, crossing my arms over my chest, resolved not to budge until he tells me what is going on.

"Whatever you have to say to me Edward, say it now."


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N ~ Two for one today...We couldn't leave you hanging now, could we?**

**And from this chapter comes Mudward. A term our friend coined and we happen to love.**

**Let us know what you think of him.**

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**EDWARD POV**

I stop walking when I hear her voice. She's angry with me? Oh, that's rich. I spin on my heel to face her, intent on letting her know exactly what she did to me by leaving and staying gone, but my resolve crumbles as soon as I look her.

"Bella, I..."

I take a step toward her. For the first time since I met her, she looks frightened of me. I furrow my brow slightly, the electrical current humming between us distracting me from everything I wanted to say. It's stronger than even my perfect memory recalls. Bella's eyes search my face and she takes a step toward me, though she looks like she's moving against her will.

"Edward..."

She bites her lip, just like she used to do...when she was mine. All of my resolve disappears and my face relaxes. I reach out and touch her arm. She looks between my hand and my face. I wish I knew what she was thinking. After what feels like a long time, she relaxes her stance and uncrosses her arms and drops them from across her chest. I'm not sure why, but I slide my fingers down her arm, over her skin. I note that it feels different than it did when I last touched her, but it's better. We are the same now. My fingers glide over her wrist and to her hand. I link our fingers together, never taking my eyes off her face.

Her eyes finally meet mine and stay there. "Bella..." My voice is a low growl, almost raspy. She says nothing, and I can't find any other words. All my anger and hurt...the years apart...our daughter..the betrayal...All of it forgotten. All that matters in this moment is that she's here and she's real. I'm not sure who moved first, her or me...I don't know how we got here, but suddenly we're kissing and clinging to each other desperately. Did she grab me or I her? Was it mutual? Did we both give in to the magnetic pull?

Neither of us need air, and I don't have to hold back like I did for so long. Our tongues are moving together and she is gripping my hair. My fingers dig into her hips, pulling her tighter against me, my erection pressing into her stomach. Bella whimpers my name and I am lost. My hands move around the back of her waist, and under her shirt of their own volition. I lightly stroke the soft skin on her back, right above the waist of her jeans. She tastes different and yet the same, and God help me. I want more.

Bella moves her hands down my neck and chest, grabbing the front of my shirt and holding it in her fists. I grip the edge of her shirt, pulling our lips apart only long enough to pull it off over her head and drop it on the forest floor. She starts to unbutton my shirt, but changes her mind, pulling it apart, sending the buttons flying everywhere instead. She pushes it down off of my shoulders and arms as she kisses my chest. I close my eyes, tangling my fingers in her hair, memorizing the feel of her lips on my skin, her tongue, her teeth, committing the texture of her hair and how it feels between my fingers to memory.

It's as if tasting my skin makes Bella more desperate, she pushes me back against a tree, unbuttoning my jeans as she leans up, flicking her tongue to my lips. We both moan when our tongues touch again, and I brush my fingers down her shoulders and between her shoulder blades, unhook her bra and pull it down her arms, dropping it. Bella presses her chest against mine and we sigh in unison at the feeling of skin to skin. I'm not sure how long we kiss like that before it starts to rain.

The scent of Bella's arousal surrounds me, I pull back from her to unbutton her jeans and slide the zipper down. pushing them down over her hips and dragging my lips across her neck and shoulder and down her chest. I swirl my tongue around one of her perfect, pink nipples, sucking it into my mouth. Bella arches her back, moaning loudly. I put one hand on the small of her back, laying her down on the ground. My lips and tongue explore every curve and plane of her chest and stomach. I hook my fingers in the sides of her panties and Bella lifts her hips off the ground so I can pull them off.

I move back up her body, dragging my lips and skin against her all the way. She pushes on my chest when our faces are level again. I sit back on my heels and she pulls the zipper of my jeans down, brushing her hand down the front and over my cock. I groan, bringing my eyes back up to her face. Her hair is soaking wet now and her whole body glistens from the raindrops pelting it. I stand to kick off my shoes and quickly take my jeans and boxers off. I move back to hover over Bella, hissing when my length brushes against her. I settle between her legs, running the palm of one of my hands up her thigh.

I start to say something, though I'm not sure what is coming. "Bella..." She shakes her head, putting her fingers gently on my lips, and the thought of speaking leaves me. I close my eyes and suck one of her fingers into my mouth, rolling my tongue around it. Bella whimpers, hitching a leg around my thigh. My cock rubs against her slit and a growl escapes my throat. She scratches her nails down my back, lifting her body out of the mud to press against me.

"Please..." She doesn't have to ask twice. I open my eyes, locking them with hers as I push into her. Her eyes float closed, her lips parted and her back arched...She is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, but then she always was. When I'm all the way inside her, I close my eyes, burying my face in her neck, breathing her in and taking a moment just to feel her surrounding me. Bella's legs wrap around me, pulling me deeper. She puts her fingers back into my hair. We just lay like that without moving. I know even if this is the last time I'm ever with Bella, as I suspect it to be, I will never be with anyone else like this. It doesn't matter how long I exist.

We start to move together, moans and whimpers filling the air. We press against each other, rolling our hips together in sync. Our lips collide again and we pick up our pace. The rain falls harder, the thrumming of it hitting the ground, setting the rhythm for us. We move together perfectly. We fit together perfectly. Like we are made for each other. When the thought crosses my mind, I hear Bella at the exact same time. She couldn't have said it, because we're kissing. What the...I push the thoughts out of my head and just focus on Bella.

Being with her like this, is so amazing. There really are no words. I don't have to worry about bruising her or breaking her. I start to thrust harder, grinding into Bella with every pass. She throws her head back, pressing it into the ground, tightening her legs around me and digging her heels into my ass. She digs her fingers into my neck, and moans into my mouth. I pull my lips away from her, watching her expression as she tightens around my cock, quivering under me. The sound she makes pushes me over the edge and I cum with a grunt, thrusting until both of our orgasms subside. I collapse on Bella, staying inside of her. Neither of us utter a word.

My mind reels, so I close my eyes, putting my nose in the crook of Bella's neck. I kiss the skin there, leary to get up. Reluctant to leave here and go back to being alone. I listen to the rain, focusing on every point where my body and hers are touching.

"I love you..." Bella murmurs.

I squeeze my eyes closed, and then pull back to look at her. I hear it again._ I love you..._ Her eyes are closed and her mouth hasn't moved. At first I wonder if I imagined it. I gasp when I realize I didn't hear Bella's words. I heard her thoughts.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N~ We still own nothing...If we did, we'd be travelling around playing 'Where in the World is Kellan Lutz?' Or some similar game.**

**Here we go. Time for the aftermath. {ducks and hides}**

**Press the review button and let us know what you think!**

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**BELLA POV**

I come out of my haze when I heard Edward gasp, opening my eyes to look up at him. The palm of my hand is against his cheek, and I rub my thumb once over his parted lips.

"What's wrong?"

Edward shakes his head, "Nothing. I just thought I heard something."

Heard something? I glance around and gain my bearings on the surroundings. The realization of where we are and what we just did hits me like a ton of bricks. What did we just do? I drop my hand from his cheek and gently push at his chest. He moves from on top of me, and I bite back a whimper at the loss. I grab my dirty tshirt from the mud beside me and hold it over my chest sitting up. _Oh now you're being shy Bella?_ Edward is looking at me like I'm crazy and like he's trying to solve some sort of puzzle. Grabbing my jeans from beside me, I pull them up my legs as quickly as possible, standing as I wiggle them over my hips. My panties are a lost cause, so I shove them into my pocket to throw away later. I sense Edward watching me, but refuse to look at him as I finish getting dressed. He finally stands up to pull his jeans on when I'm wringing out my hair, trying to get as much mud out as possible. When my eyes finally meet his, I immediately look away.

"I need to go. I need to check on her..."

Without waiting for him to respond, I start walking back the way we came.

"So that's it? 'Thanks, Edward. It's been nice. See you around?'" He pinches the bridge of his nose. "How could you do that to me, Bella? Leave me like that? How can you just leave now? I thought we loved each other."

I stop walking at the sound of his voice, turning to face him but staying where I am. The question seems ridiculous to me. Even more ridiculous that he's asking me right now, after what just happened, standing in front of me with his ripped shirt covered in mud. The shirt I tore from his body not an hour ago. I laugh for the second time in front of him today. Covering my mouth with my hand, I see he's clenching his fists over and over and I've probably pissed him off even more.

"I do- I did love you."

He's finally saying what I know he's been waiting to say these past two years.

"Why did you leave me?"

I answer without missing a beat, "You didn't want her."

The look on his face makes me question myself. He didn't, did he? Am I remembering this correctly? It feels like a lifetime ago. I try not to show, my confusion.

He shakes his head vigorously, "I never said that. Never. I didn't know her. I was never given the chance. I had what? Three days to digest and then you were gone? Do you know what I was doing while you were leaving me?"

What is he talking about? He didn't want her. He wanted me to get rid of her. His face... I remember his face. I want to tell him all of this, but I shake my head instead and wait for him to continue.

He practically snarls, "I was talking to Alice, working through my fear of losing you. I decided we would get through whatever was coming together. I came back to tell you, to ask you to forgive me, and you were gone."

I think he's done, but then he starts up again.

"You destroyed me, Bella. I was empty until I ran into Renesmee. Do not take her away from me again."

I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out, so I snap it closed again.

Edward sighs, his voice is calmer, "Bella, I understand that you don't love me anymore, but she does. Please. Don't deprive her of knowing her family."

I still don't say anything, and he starts to back away from me. I try to make my mouth move, I try to say anything- make any noise to make him stay. But I can't.

"I'm sure you have a lot to think about. I know you'll do the right thing. Not for me or for you, but for Renesmee."

I'm sure he's done now, but he has to get one last word. One last piece of my heart.

"This was a mistake. I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

Then he's gone.

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**EDWARD POV**

As soon as the words left my lips, I regretted them. Bella and I would never be a mistake, but she seemed to think so. It was as if realization struck her at what we had done and she couldn't get away from me fast enough. I ran home carrying my shoes, the mud squishing between my toes. I stood on the front porch for a few moments, taking a couple of deep breaths before going inside. Though eager for Emmett's return, I am glad he's not here in this moment. He would tease me and I just cannot take it. I feel like a rubber band being stretched to its limit, and I'm about to snap.

I pull my tattered shirt back off, attempting to clean my feet with it, so as to not track mud on Esme's floors. I open the door and Jasper and Alice are sitting there expectantly like a welcoming commitee. I roll my eyes and Alice pouts.

"It changed so fast, Edward. She's confused. Don't give up on her." I just shoot her a look that clearly says I'm not in the mood for this discussion. Alice's mouth snaps shut.

Jasper apparently forgets about his empathic gift, and ignores the waves I am putting out, deciding it's a good time to channel Emmett and fill in for him. He sniffs the air dramatically and raises his eyebrow, looking at my appearance. "Considering what you were just doing, I'd think you would be in better spirits, Edward." He smirks as I huff and puff and go upstairs to take a shower and get dressed.

Despite my need to let myself fall into a downward spiral of depression, I focus on Renesmee. She probably wonders why I didn't come back, and like any child, she may start to wonder if it's her fault. None of this is her fault. I pull out a piece of paper and write her a stort letter. I tell her that I love her and that I'm so proud of her. I grab the CD I made with the song I wrote for her after I met her in the bookstore, and run back through the woods to their house.

I am relieved that they are not here yet. I climb the tree by Essie's room effortlessly and easily push the window open, landing inside her room. I look around and can't help but smile. She has wolves all over the place - almost as if she knew her destiny before she ever laid eyes on Jacob. Coming in her room this way makes me think of all the times I went through Bella's window. I close my eyes for a minute, and I'm back in the woods with her.

"Edward, stop thinking about it. You'll drive yourself crazy," I tell myself. I put the CD and the envelope on Renesmee's pillow, where I'm sure she'll see it at some point. I look around one more time before stepping into the hallway, telling myself I'll walk straight downstairs and out the backdoor. Famous last words. I walk by Bella's room and her scent almost knocks me over. Again I flash back - rain, Bella, mud, Bella...

"Dammit!" I can't stop myself from stepping into her room. I stand in the doorwary, looking around. Pictures of Renesmee's life are all over the dresser, I walk over to take a closer look, to see what I've missed. I can't help but smile at our happy child. She is grinning in every picture, whether candid or posed. I start to leave when something by the closet catches my eye. I know that suitcase. It's the one Bella took on our honeymoon. I remind myself I shouldn't be here. I should leave, but I can't help myself.

I reach out to touch the suitcase, realizing it is full. I pick it up and lay it on the bed, unzipping it. She hasn't touched it. It's still full of bikinis and lingerie that Alice sent with her to Isle Esme. A Kodak envelope is sticking out of the pocket slightly. I grab it, knowing these are the pictures we had developed in Rio before we left. I stop breathing looking through them. One picture sticks out to me more than the others. It's one Bella took of us herself, holding the camera out, I'm kissing her cheek and she has the biggest smile on her face.

I leave that picture out, putting the rest back into the envelope and closing the suitcase. I put it back in it's place, looking at the picture again before laying it on the middle of Bella's bed. Why I am doing it, I'm not sure. Maybe I need her to remember we were happy once. Maybe I want her to see that we really loved each other. Maybe I want her to know, regardless of everything, we still do.

I look around the room one more time before I head downstairs and out of the house.

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**BELLA POV**

My appearance is forgotten until I step into the store. I see Renesmee peek over Jacob and look at me, waiting for Edward to come in the door after me. When he doesn't, anger flashes over her face and she stands with her hands on her hips.

"Where did he go? Why are you muddy mama? Did you fight him?"

Her little voice raises an octave as she looks at me accusingly.

"DID YOU HURT HIM?"

What has gotten into her? Jacob is of no help, staying seated with a smirk across his face. "Yeah Bella, did you hurt him?"

I'm tired for the first time that I can remember. "Edward is fine."

The look on Renesmee's face tells me she doesn't believe me.

"Then where is he mama?"

I look from her to Jacob, pleading for him to help me out. He doesn't. Asshole. If my daughter wasn't so protective of him, I would have said as much.

"Renesmee he's fine. Get your things, we need to go home."

She pouts but does as she's told. I finally look around the store and see that it's empty and Jason is gone. Jacob finally decides he can talk.

"I told that weird guy he could go home. He didn't argue."

I'll definitely be giving Jason that bonus. Renesmee takes longer than usual to gather her things, and my patience grows thin. I want to get home, to shower and get out of these clothes. Forget about whatever just happened. Forget what Edward said after... The drive home is quiet, Jake just keeps shaking his head and laughing to himself, and Renesmee stares at the back of my head accusingly. I don't know what to say to make her feel better, so I don't say anything.

When we get to the house, I immediately go upstairs to shower. Jacob and Renesmee stay downstairs in the kitchen and despite everything, I'm thankful that he's here. I strip down and leave my ruined clothes on the bathroom floor. I have to get rid of them. They smell like him. Everything smells like him; _he's everywhere_.

I stay in the shower until the hot water runs out. It isn't until I'm wrapped in a towel and walking back into my room that I hear it. Edward's scent is so strong that for a split second, I think he's downstairs playing the piano. My mind finally catches up with my emotions, and I realize that I don't have a piano.

Then I see it. The picture sitting on my bed. He was here. Of course he was... He went through my things. Through the suitcase I've kept and not allowed myself to ever open. I sit on the edge of the bed, holding the photograph in my hands. I vaguely recall taking it, in another life. Before I chose our child over him. He looks happy. I look happy. I was happy.

I've been so distracted by the picture and trying to remember the day we took it that I don't hear Renesmee barge in the room.

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**RENESMEE POV**

I'm so mad at my mama. I'm glad Jacob is here. He makes me smile. Edward...I mean daddy...will come back, right? I just got what I never knew I always wanted...Then mama made him go away. She ruined everything!

Mama's quiet all the way home. Once we get there, she runs right upstairs. Whatever. Jacob and I have a snack and then go to my room. There is a note and a CD on my bed. I see them right away. I am sure daddy left them, I just don't know what it means. I sit on my bed and read the note, biting my lip. My Jacob sits down next to me. I can tell he's curious, but he doesn't ask any questions or try to read over my shoulder. I read daddy's letter several more times before putting the CD into my player, tears blurring my vision.

Beautiful music fills the air. I look at Jacob in complete awe and he grins at me and shrugs his shoulders, as if to say, "No idea." The music wraps around me like a blanket. I feel like it's my song, though I don't know why. I listen to it all the way through once and then replay it. I march into my mama's room, ready to demand answers. I look at her when she looks up at me, and I can't say anything because my mama looks lost. She looks like she'd be crying if she could, and it dawns on me that I've never seen her upset like this before.

I frown, putting my hands on my hips, "Mama?"

"Hmm?" She glances back at whatever is in her hands. A picture?

"That is a song for me, isn't it?" My tone doesn't really ask. It states a fact I already know to be true.

Mama nods, "Edward..." She almost chokes on his name. "...Your father is a very talented composer and plays piano beautifully." Her voice is shaky, something I've never witnessed before.

"Mama?"

"Yes, Essie?"

"Why isn't daddy with us? Why didn't I know him before?" I stay where I am, keeping my hands on my hips and straightening my back to show her I mean business. I want to know everything. I can already tell she won't tell me.

Her voice gets firmer, "It's complicated, Renesmee. I can't explain it all to you right now..." She squeezes her eyes shut and I move toward her quickly, grabbing the photo from her hands.

She opens her eyes again when I gasp. "You loved my daddy, mama."

"Yes," She says very quietly.

I want to say "and you still do," but I think better of it, and give her back the picture, quietly leaving the room.

Now I know what needs to be done.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N~ Trix and I decided we should post twice a week from now on - barring writer's block. So here is installment #2 this week. Emmett's back. Didn't you miss him? Yeah, us too.**

**We still don't own anything Twilight. It sure as hell owns us.**

**Enjoy and please review and share your thoughts - the good, the bad, the ugly.**

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**EMMETT POV**

We are finally home. Sure, it's a different house, but the rest of the family is here, and that's what matters. Rose is slightly uncomfortable, I can tell. Edward isn't here, but no one else seems to act as if anything is wrong. They've accepted both of us back with open arms. We may be a hodge podge of individuals, brought together by Carlisle and our lifestyle, but we are a family. A real family. Closer than most blood related families I suppose.

Edward has gone hunting for a couple days and will return tomorrow, I'm told. It makes sense since we got here early, but I'm disappointed my brother isn't here. I want to see with my own eyes that he's alright. The rest of the family fills me in. I'm proud of Edward. Through I know the past couple years have been rough on him, he never gave up. How fucked up is that Bella was right under his nose part of the time?

Jazz even fills me in on the day Edward came home covered in mud and reeking of sex. Damn, I wish I'd been here to see that. Perfect, prim and proper Eddie getting down and dirty. We laugh together, and Jazz says he's more tense than ever, though he shouldn't be, considering. I smack him on the back, glad to be back. It's my job to razz Edward, but I'm glad Jasper got some digs in during my absence.

Jasper goes on to tell me that Ed is claiming Bella wants nothing to do with him, and he's focused solely on their daughter. Wrong and wrong. Those two will never be over. I don't buy it. Neither does Jasper...or Alice or Carlisle or Esme. Of course no one has called Edward out. See? They need me here. Someone has to tell Mr. High and Mighty to get his head out of his ass.

I sit in the kitchen talking to Alice about Bella and Renesmee. I actually have a neice. Alice hasn't met her yet, but is going on and on about her happily. Alice can't 'see' Bella's future either. Or what happens with her and Edward. She couldn't see Bella's future when she was pregnant, so Renesmee being in their lives keeps Alice's vision fuzzy. I'm shocked when she tells me that she hasn't even talked to Bella.

"She's your best friend, Alice. I have to admit I'm more than a little surprised you haven't reached out to her."

"Edward begged me not to...I..." She stops talking, seeing my scowl.

"Edward kept us away from our little sis once. I'll be damned if he's going to do it again." I stand up and move to the door, "The bookstore downtown, right?" She nods mutely.

I'm on my way and Alice doesn't stop me. She probably wants me to do her dirty work. Afterall, I have promised no one.

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**JACOB POV**

I have settled in pretty well in Kalispell and with Bella and Nessie. I belong here. I belong wherever she is. I just started work at the garage and it's going fine. I've always been good with my hands. It's what I'm meant to do. The only problem with my job is that in order to do it, I have to be away from Nessie. She told me it makes her heart hurt when I'm gone. I know what she means, and it kills me to do that to her, but what choice do I have? I have to earn a living, pay my way, save for the future.

Bella hasn't mentioned Edward's name, which is a little awkward since he's all Nessie has talked about the past few days. She constantly plays 'her' song, and when we aren't around a CD player, she hums it. I feel bad for the kid because Edward hasn't been around since Bella walked into the bookstore covered in mud. Bella's been a little withdrawn, so I'm guessing things didn't go too well afterward. I haven't asked. I also haven't told her that Ed and I were both looking for her or that we worked together. I'll get there. It just doesn't ever seem to be the right time.

"Jakey! Let's go hunting before you go to work and mama takes me to the bookstore!" Nessie's face is all lit up and hopeful.

As if I could say no. She loves hunting with me and we've turned it into a game. "Give me five minutes Ness and meet me in our spot."

She nods and runs to tell Bella and I go out the back and jog toward the woods. We meet in our spot right on time. She immediately tangles her fingers in my fur, cooing about how I'm her wolf. I can't help but grin. We run through the woods and she takes down some elk, and then we lay in a field and relax. She confides in me that she likes blood better than food, but Bella seems to want her to eat human food, so she hasn't admitted her preference to anyone before.

When she's done on that topic, she points to the trees, standing as tall as she can. "Go on, wolfie. Come back as my Jacob. We need to talk." I am laughing hysterically on the inside because she is so serious. And bossy. God, help me if she grows up that way. I nod and go into the woods to phase and pull my shorts on, returning to her as she instructed. I struggle to keep a straight face, because I can tell she's completely serious.

"What do we need to talk about, Nessie?" I sit on the ground, so I'm not towering over her.

"My mama and daddy. I want my family together. You're going to help me." She looks up at me to see my reaction, showing she's not as confident as her voice would lead me to believe.

"You already know I'll help you with whatever you need, Ness. But, we can't force them. How do you plan to get them together?"

"I'm not quite sure yet, Jakey. I need to talk to daddy. Make sure he feels about my mama the way she feels about him."

I clear my throat. "I can say for certain he does."

"Then why aren't they together?" Her big brown eyes plead with me for answers I don't have. I still have no idea what happened between them.

"I don't know, Nessie. I don't know..."

She hands me an envelope that she pulls out her pocket. "I need you to get this to my daddy for me. Can you do that?"

I want to roll my eyes and say I'll do whatever she asks as long as it doesn't put her in danger, but instead I just nod and take the letter, putting it in the pocket of my shorts. "What is this? A letter you wrote pretending to be Bella?"

She giggles, shaking her head. "No, Jakey, but that's a great idea!"

I roll my eyes. "Come on little matchmaker, let's get back before your mom freaks out."

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**BELLA POV**

When Jake and Renesmee come back from their hunt, she is noticeably more relaxed. She smiled at me when they walked in the door and hummed the whole way up the stairs, not fighting me at all when I asked her to go take a bath. I wait until she's in the bath to wash up before I confront Jake about it. Usually I don't push about what goes on during their time alone, but this time it's obvious something happened to put her in such a good mood.

I make sure the water is running in the bathroom upstairs before leading Jacob outside, looking pointedly from him to the door to make sure he knows I want him to follow. He sits down on the porch ledge tossing an apple in the air.

"Well?" he asks, waiting to speak until I'm sitting down across from him.

"Well why is she so happy?"

Jacob flashes me a toothy grin before answering.

"Oh come on Bells, who wouldn't be in a good mood around me? I'm like a walking ray of sunshine!"

I smile, but know he's avoiding the question.

"Honestly Jake, what happened? Did you let her win some race to the nearest deer?"

Jake clears his throat, taking a giant bite of his apple before answering.

"She usually wins without me letting her."

I can't help but smile again, proud of my little girl. I wait patiently for Jake to finish the apple. He takes a deep breath, tossing the core into the yard.

"Look Bells, I'll be honest with you. She was asking about Edward."

Standing abruptly, I nod and walk back inside, not wanting to hear more.

"Come on! You asked!" Jake calls after me.

Of course I should have known. Renesmee has been playing that song on repeat lately, her beloved Taylor Swift cd forgotten. She hasn't asked me any more questions since she found me with the picture so of course she's asking someone else.

I busy myself getting food ready for them while Essie gets dressed and Jake showers. She barrels down the stairs with her stuffed wolf and plops down in her chair at the table, eating her sandwich with no complaints. Jake being around has helped more than he realizes. I sit across from her at the table, trying to sound nonchalant.

"So Jake told me you asked him about Edward."

Renesmee rolls her eyes and sets down her sandwich before replying.

"He's not Edward, mama. He's daddy. And yes I did," she says matter-of-factly.

Her determined little face catches me off guard and it takes everything I have to get the words out. "Of course, your daddy."

She seems pleased that I've acknowledged him as such and takes another bite of her sandwich, tilting her head to the side like she's thinking and I hesitate before speaking again.

"If there's anything you want to know baby, you can ask me."

Instead of responding to my open invitation to talk about the one thing I've kept off limits, she turns to the doorway and smiles at Jacob. I'm losing my edge, I didn't even hear him coming downstairs.

Renesmee points to his plate and pats the empty chair beside her. "Mama made you a turkey sandwich Jakey! Come eat!"

I look to Jake who just shrugs like he doesn't know what's going on and leave the table when he sits, busying myself with making sure I have everything ready to leave for the day.

After Jake finishes his lunch, we head into town for the afternoon. We stop at the shop to drop Jake off and Renesmee makes him promise he'll call her at the store. I seriously wonder to myself if I need to get my two year old a cell phone and laugh at the thought.

When we get to the bookstore, Renesmee immediately goes to her table in the back saying she has to draw a "really cool" picture before she forgets, and I stay at the counter talking to Jason about how the morning went here at work. I've focused so much time on what is going on in my personal life that I've been neglecting the store. I vow to do a better job of balancing out the two, and let Jason leave for the day.

We haven't been there five minutes before I hear the jingling of the bells on the door announcing a customer. I glance up from the stack of books I've been organizing to say hello and look back down distractedly before it hits me who it is.

His voice booms throughout the store, "Lucy! I'm home!"


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N~ It's Monday again. We still own nothing. However tomorrow night is the Publisher's Clearinghouse winner announcement. Maybe I can get rich that way? :P This chapter leaves you with a bit of a cliffie. Don't worry, we are updating twice a week, remember? So you'll see what happens next on Thursday. Enjoy and review!**

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**EMMETT POV**

"Bells!" I pull her into a bear hug. "I don't even have to worry about breaking you anymore!"

She laughs, "Emmett? What are you doing here?" She looks like she's trying to remember something. Things before her change are probably not clear.

"You remember me, right, little sis?" I feel nervous, which is not a feeling I'm very familiar with.

She nods and I sigh with relief. "Of course I remember you, Emm. Things are just a little fuzzy..."

I playfully hit her in the arm. "That's normal...So, Bells. I'm here on my behalf, but also on behalf of the rest of the family who couldn't be here.

She furrows her brow. "Does Edward know you're here?" She kind of chokes on his name, like it's hard to get out.

"No, Bells. He doesn't even know I'm in town just yet. He's gone hunting. He made everyone else promise to leave you alone, I guess he's afraid of scaring you away or some shit, I don't know." I shake my head. "You're our sister though, Bella. And Carlisle and Esme's daughter. We all miss you. We all want to know Renesmee. Alice will be doing cartwheels when she sees you again. Edward is away, like I said. I've come to invite you. No, to beg you, to please come to the house. Pretty please?" I fold my hands and drop to my knees giving Bella my best puppy dog eyes.

She shakes her head and laughs at me and a little girl that I know immediately is Renesmee, appears at my side, giggling. "Mama, who is this funny man?"

Bella is laughing too, begging me to stand up. "This, Essie is your uncle Emmett."

"Essie, huh?" I get up off the ground, giving her a grin at her and she beams at me.

She glances at Bella, sticking her hand out to shake mine, "It's _Nessie_, Uncle Emmett. You're my daddy's brother?"

I nod, silent for once, amazed by how much the rugrat looks like Edward.

"Mama and I would love to come over tonight so I can meet my family. Right, mama?" She glares daggers at Bella, who nods.

Bella nods, shrugging at me. "We can close early today." She hands Nessie her phone and tells her to call Jacob and tell him where they are so he doesn't worry.

I scowl, still thinking it's weird that the dog was after Bella and now he imprinted on my niece. Whatever. It's a strange world we live in. Who am I to judge?

Bella turns the sign in the window and Nessie puts her hand in mine as she hands Bella's phone back to her. "Jakey said to be careful, mama."

I look at Bella who seems annoyed. I grumble, "He must mean be careful of close encounters of the mud kind?" I snicker and Bella glares at me, but I can tell she'd be blushing if she were still human. "Aww, come on, Bells. You know you missed me."

She hits me as we walk out to the street, and I wince when her granite elbow hits my ribs. My sister is back.

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**RENESMEE POV**

I am so excited I could squeal. I love Uncle Emmett already. He's so much fun! He even told me he'd take me hunting for grizzly bears! Of course mama didn't like that very much...but she'll get over it. When we pull up to the front of the house, I am amazed by what I see. My family...my daddy lives here? The house is huge. And beautiful. I gasp, and mama looks back at me uncomfortably. I am more confused than ever why we aren't all together. There's plenty of room!

Mama opens my door to help me get unhooked, not that she needs to. It makes her feel useful to think I need help, so I just let her. As soon as my feet hit the ground, Uncle Emmett runs up from his truck and sweeps me up onto this shoulders. I giggle loudly. A tiny woman with crazy black hair comes bouncing out of the house. She hugs mama and looks like she'd be sobbing if she were human.

"That's your aunt Alice. She can be a little intense, kiddo." Uncle Emmett tells me. He sets me back on my feet on the porch and there is a blonde man standing there with his hands folded behind his back.

"Well hello there, little lady. You must be Renesmee. I'm your uncle Jasper. I'm so happy to make your aquaintence." I giggle and take his hand when he offers it to me.

"Uncle Jasper?" I lean in to whisper and continue when he nods. "Since we're family we can hug, can't we?"

He grins at me and opens his arms. "I reckon we can." I feel joy coming off of him, and it makes me happier than I already am...if that's even possible.

I march down the stairs where Aunt Alice and mama are still hugging. "Mama? Can I have a turn?" Aunt Alice pulls back from her and looks at me. She scoops me up and looks at me intently. She looks like a pixie from some of my storybooks. I throw my arms around her neck. "Hi Aunt Alice! It's good to be home!" She carries me back to the porch, talking so fast. Something about shopping and dressing me up.

Someone else is on the porch now. Uncle Emmett kisses her and puts his arm around her. She is the most beautiful lady I ever saw. Even prettier than Aunt Tanya...and she's really pretty. Aunt Alice walks right up to her. "This is your aunt. Rosalie."

"Hi Aunt Rosalie. I'm Nessie." I can't stop staring at her. She takes me from Alice, and I hug her tight around her neck. "I'm so glad you're here with us," she whispers.

"Me too. You're so beautiful, Aunt Rosalie." She smiles.

"Yeah. Uh huh. Isn't she hot?" Emmett booms. Rosalie rolls her eyes at him. "What, babe? The kid's smart!"

Everyone is hugging mama and telling her how much they missed her, how happy they are she's here. Why did she leave them? I wonder if my daddy will tell me...

We all file inside. Mama and me last. A couple, who can only be my grandma and grandpa, are standing in the doorway, both their faces full of emotion. I run up to them, throwing one arm around each of their legs. They both put a hand on my back. The three of us hug like that for a long time. Grandma Esme smooths my hair back and Grandpa Carlisle kisses my cheek. "We're so blessed to have you here, Renesmee."

Esme looks at mama, kissing the top of my head before putting her arms around her. "My daughter. My sweet Bella has come back to us," she says quietly. Mama's shoulders are shaking, and I know she's crying.

I whisper to Grandpa, "Mama missed you all. I think she was lonely. She won't have to be lonely anymore."

Grandpa clears his throat, "No, she won't. We all love you both." He crouches down in front of me and takes one of my curls between his fingers. "You look so much like Edward." He says it more to himself than to me.

"I wish he were here with all of us." I bite my lip and put my hand on Grandpa Carlisle's face to show him what it means to me to have found my daddy.

He watches in wonder, and sits quietly when I pull my hand back. I smile and kiss his cheek before going into the living room where all my aunts and uncles are. I look around at the four of them, holding hands, hugging, and I know.

There is a lot of love in this house, but Daddy's been lonely too.

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**BELLA POV**

Being here surrounded by Edward's family- my family, makes me wonder if I've been doing the wrong thing these past two years. After I had Renesmee, after Eleazar changed me... Should I have told them? As I make small talk with Esme and Carlisle, telling them about the bookstore, I know the answer already. While my memory may be foggy, Edward's stance on my pregnancy is still very clear. _But he told me he had changed his mind?_ I don't know what to believe anymore. I know that I wouldn't have been strong enough to fight him anymore though, in the state I was in. I would've gotten rid of... I shake my head to myself, as if to shake the thought away. I did the right thing. The only thing I knew.

And now that Renesmee is older and I have had time to adjust to this lifestyle, I feel stronger than I ever have. Empowered that I'm not the teenage girl who made every decision based on a boy. But he wasn't just a boy. He was mine, and I was his. And now we're nothing. We finally see each other, and... whatever happened between us, happened. And he doesn't want it to happen again. He's over me. I try to tell myself that it's for the best.

Renesmee is sitting on the couch between Alice and Rosalie, holding each of their hands and talking excitedly about her wolf. Rosalie seems less than thrilled to be hearing about Jacob, but is smiling all the same. Everyone is smitten with my daughter, and I take a moment to look around the room. Even if it's a different house, it has Cullen written all over it. Edward's piano in the corner, the same paintings on the walls.

Maybe I should have found them sooner, not kept myself hidden...

"Mama! Mama! They know my song!"

I realize I'm staring at the graduation caps hanging on the wall, trying to pick out which one was from ours. It takes me a minute to look away and smile at my daughter's beaming face.

"Of course they know it sweetheart, do you see that piano?"

I wait for her little head to swivel around the room and spot the piano before speaking again.

"That's Ed- your daddy's piano. They probably all sat here listening while he wrote it."

At that, Essie drops Alice and Rosalie's hands and skips over to the piano bench, looking at the keys with wide eyes.

"Do you think he'll play it for me?"

I glance around the room and see everyone is looking at me, waiting for my reaction.

"I'm sure he will baby, you'll have to ask him."

I plaster a smile on my face and clear my throat, cutting my eyes around the room looking for the nearest exit. Overwhelmed, I know I have to get out of here. I immediately find Rosalie's face and smile the best I can.

"Will you watch her? I just need a minute."

Rosalie nods her head once in response and walks over to the piano bench to sit by Renesmee. I can feel everyone watching me as I walk toward the sliding glass door. I hear Rosalie speaking softly to Renesmee explaining how to hold her hands over the keys, and close the door behind me, walking to the far end of the deck so that I won't feel their eyes watching me as I try to collect myself. It's twilight and I can smell the rain from earlier still in the air. I take a few deep breaths, holding onto the edge of the porch railing.

Then I hear his throat clear. I turn toward the noise and see him, standing near the tree line.

Before I can talk myself out of it, I'm walking to him.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N ~ It's Thursday! Update number two this week. Stephenie Meyer still owns all things Twilight. I'd call her a lucky bitch if she weren't so damn nice... ;)**

**So...without further adieu, here is what happens between Bella and Edward after she approaches him in the woods.**

**Leave us a review and let us know your thoughts!**

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**BELLA POV**

I half expect Edward to run back into the woods, or at least ask me to stop. But he just stands there with his hands at his sides. I stop walking when I'm an arm's length away from him and instead of reaching for him, I wrap my arms across my chest as if holding myself together. He probably wonders why I'm here with his family.

"Emmett came. He wanted us to... Renesmee is inside."

Edward looks at the house and back to me. I had expected him to walk to the house and join his family and our daughter, but he doesn't. He's just staring at me and not speaking. He's angry, and I know he has every right to be. I unwrap my arms from myself and step closer, wanting him to say something... Anything.

The silence is making me angry and in a need to elicit some sort of response from him, I place my hands on his chest and fist the front of his shirt to pull him closer to me. Good, he seems surprised. Feeling confident now that his scowl is gone, I release one hand from his shirt and place my palm flat against his neck, forcing him to bend down to me- not that he was fighting it.

Before I can lose my nerve, my lips are moving on his and my hand gripping his shirt has unclenched and is making it's way down. Just as my fingers graze his skin at the waistband of his jeans, Edward pulls away from me and grabs each of my wrists. And there it is.. the rejection. All of a sudden I'm mortified. He doesn't want me. I try to pull my wrists free of him, but he won't let me go. He doesn't speak until I stop fighting him.

"They can see us. Emmett is about to come looking for you."

His eyes shift from me to the sliding glass door behind me and I follow his gaze. Sure enough, Emmett is getting up from the couch and is walking across the room to the door. As soon as I turn back around to face Edward, he gives me a small nod and lets go of one of my wrists. Then he starts running. Am I following him because he's making me?_ No, I'd follow him anywhere at this point. Stupid fucking hormones._

Edward doesn't loosen his grip on me until we get closer to a house in the distance. It takes me longer than it should to realize that it's my house. He slows down and finally loosens his grip on my wrist, letting his hand fall to mine. I link my fingers through his and let him lead me up the front porch and into my tiny living room. He's been here before and he knows where he's going. I follow him up the short flight of stairs and down the hall to the left, stopping at his side when we get to my bedroom. He looks at me like he's asking for my permission to go inside. I want to rage and ask him why he's even bothering, he's been here before without asking first. Instead I unlink my fingers from his and step inside, turning to face him. As soon as I start walking backwards to the bed, the questioning look is gone and he's following me in.

I don't care about the fact that he said never again. Or the fact that he's looking at me like he's unsure. He audibly groans when I pull my shirt over my head, and I take that as a sign. It isn't until my hands are behind me to unclasp my bra, that Edward freezes. He looks behind him to the door and then to the window, as if he's trying to plan out the best escape route. It's too late for him to change his mind now, he's the one who brought me up here. And if I'm being honest with myself, I need him.

He looks like he's about to panic and bolt out of here, so I close the distance between us, pushing him back roughly against the door. He blinks once and looks at me like he's trying to keep his resolve to go. "Bella..." I cut him off, pressing my lips hard against his, and working them, breaking him down, bringing him back to me.

He isn't exactly responsive at first, but I persist. I run my tongue along his bottom lip and let my bra fall to the floor before putting my fingers in his hair and pulling him closer to me. He starts to relax and parts his lip, groaning. He's mine. At least for the moment. I touch his tongue with mine and whimper at the sweet taste. One hand grips the back of his neck and I bring the other down his chest, feeling the definition of his muscles through his t-shirt. I just want it off.

Edward finally moves his hands from his sides and spans them across my back, pressing me against him. It's not enough. There is so much electricity and heat between us. It both pisses me off and spurs me on. I grab the collar of his t-shirt, not willing to break our kiss, worried it will break the spell, so afraid he'll leave. I feel the material shred under my fingers and drop it to the floor, sighing into his mouth when our skin finally touches. More. I need more.

I hold onto Edward's arms and step back toward the bed, pulling him with me, our tongues and lips still moving together. When the backs of my legs hit the bed, I grip his biceps tightly, allowing myself to fall backward and pulling him on top of me. Before I even realize the picture, our picture, is next to my head where I left it, I feel Edward pull back from me. He picks it up and looks at it, looking back at me, trying to figure out what it means that it's still there.

I start to feel my anxiety rise. My mind is screaming at him not to think. Just to feel. He sets the picture on the nightstand and I can see he's going to pull away. The words are out there before I realize it or have the sense to stop them. "Edward, don't go." Something softens in his eyes before he closes them and takes a deep breath. I run my hand down his chest to the top of his jeans and over the bulge in the front. He hisses and I quickly unbutton his fly, putting a hand inside and wrapping it around his throbbing cock. I whimper loudly, rubbing my thighs together, wanting friction.

Something in Edward snaps when I touch him and he is suddenly kissing me and touching me everywhere. He's everywhere. He's always been everywhere...I moan his name when he wraps his lips around my nipple, sparks shooting through my stomach to my groin. I wrap my legs around his waist, grinding up into him, not sure why we are both still wearing our jeans. We both moan at the friction and I put my fingers back in his hair, pulling his face back up to mine. Our eyes lock before our lips meet, and I am afraid by what I see in Edward's eyes. Love I don't deserve. I close my eyes quickly, losing myself in his taste as we both work to free ourselves from the rest of our clothes.

When we're both completely naked, Edward settles himself between my legs, positioning his cock at my core. Our eyes lock again, and I see a flicker of uncertainty in his. "Please...I need you..." My voice is a whisper.

He slides into me, groaning, my name falling off his lips. We cling to each other and start to move together. We find our rhythm with ease, anticipating each other's every move. I reach my climax quickly, clenching around Edward and moaning loudly. He growls, and god is it sexy. He thrusts harder, faster and I use my stregth to roll him onto his back while we're still connected. I'm straddling him, my hair surrounding us, my hands on his chest. I move over him, and he digs his fingers into my thighs, raising his hips up to meet me. His eyes sweep over my body and I feel his cock twitch inside me. I drop my head back and close my eyes. I gasp when Edward touches my swollen clit with his finger, a shiver running through me. We're both moaning, Edward rubbing my clit and me grinding my hips against him every time I lower myself on his cock. He rolls my clit between his very talented fingers, and I call his name and tighten around him again. He growls and empties into me, both of us quivering in pleasure.

I collapse on top of him, gasping for air I shouldn't need, but the feelings, both physical and emotional, literally take my breath away. We lay together, our legs intertwined and my head on Edward's chest. I lightly brush my fingers over the lines from his muscles, and he runs his hand up and down my back. Neither of us say a word. I think he is as scared as I am to ruin the illusion.

We lay together like that for a long time, but not long enough. Never long enough. The front door slams and Edward tenses. I sigh, "Jacob. He's home from work." I barely get the word out and Edward is off the bed and pulling his jeans on. My body and my heart immediately feel the loss.

"I shouldn't be here..." He says to himself.

Just like that he gathers his things, looks at me longingly and then he's gone.


	18. Chapter 18

**CHAPTER 18**

**A/N: Some of you were pissed at us because Edward took off again. Please remember, both of these two have issues, obviously. A confrontation is brewing.**

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**SM still owns all. This is her playground, we just pulled up a seat in the sandbox.**

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BELLA POV

Edward leaves through the window and I can't help but watch until he's far enough into the trees that I can't see. For someone who keeps asking me why I left, he sure leaves a lot.

I snap out of it when Jacob yells, "Well hells Bells, what are you doing home? Should I steer clear of the upstairs?"

I can hear him laughing and saying something to himself about the stench and instead of answering, I get in the shower. The water will only get so hot and I vow to talk to someone about changing the settings on the hot water heater.

My shower doesn't last as long as I wish it would, but I know I have to go face Jake and pick up Renesmee.I'm dressed and down the stairs in minutes, tying my hair up on the way to the kitchen. Jake hops off the counter as soon as he sees me, shoving the last bite of spaghetti into his mouth before putting his bowl in the sink.

"Aren't you and Edward just parents of the year?"

I scoff and shove past him to rinse out his bowl and place it in the dishwasher.

"You know as well as I do that the Cullens are more than capable of watching Renesmee for a couple hours."

Jake is loving this and I hear the smile in his voice even though I'm facing away. "Wow Bells, only a couple of hours? I'd get that looked at."

When I turn to face him, he ducks as if I'll hit him.

"We're not talking about this Jake."

He rolls his eyes, walking toward the door as he answers. "Of course we aren't Bells, no one is talking about it. We'll all just ignore the fucking elephant in the room."

I swallow hard and follow him, knowing he's right but not wanting to admit it. I take a deep breath as we leave the house. This is going to be a long walk.

* * *

**EDWARD POV**

I run through the woods, back toward the house, berating myself. How could I allow this to happen again? I swore it would never happen again. We have resolved nothing. All I have done is made things worse. I knew better! I lost all sense. What feels like a lifetime ago, I controlled myself around Bella for months. Now I could not even keep my word or my hands off of her for a few days. We didn't even talk about anything!

I grumble to myself as I walk out of the woods, carrying my torn shirt and my shoes, "Damn it Edward. Where is your self control?" I step onto the porch, rubbing the ache in my chest. Bella made it clear she didn't want me in the woods the other day, so what was this? What does it mean? I squeeze my eyes closed and take a breath before opening the door. I can hear my family...my daughter. I barely step inside and Renesmee is wrapped around my legs.

"Daddy! I'm so glad you're here. I've missed you! Will you play the piano for me? I want you to teach me!"

I smooth her hair with my free hand. "I missed you too, Nessie. I need to take a shower, but then I'll play something for you, alright?" I put on my best smile for my little girl.

Renesmee is so giddy, she bounds back into the living room, telling everyone what they already heard. I smile a real smile, listening to her with the family. Everyone has missed her being with us.

I start up the stairs, calling a welcome to Emmett and Rosalie. I hear Emmett shout, "Find what you were looking for in the woods, Eddie?" I growl and listen to him telling Nessie that her daddy's dirty and desperately needs a shower. He laughs loudly and I slam the door to my room.

I take a quick shower and put on clean jeans and a button up shirt, telling myself the whole time to keep it together for my daughter, I can unravel later. I walk back into the living room, hugging Emmett and Rosalie. I can tell she's surprised, but I've forgiven her. I was misplacing blame, and I know it. The family tries to hide their thoughts behind antecdotes and songs, but I know what they are all thinking. They are all wondering what is going on between Bella and I. They have questions even I cannot answer. I feel calming waves from Jasper and give him a tight smile in thanks.

Renesmee runs right to my side, taking my hand and pulling me to the piano. She sits on the bench next to me and I start to relax. I play her song, and as I'm playing she puts the palm of her hand on my face, showing me what she feels with the music. When the song is over, I gather her up in my arms, clearing the emotion out of my throat. "I love you, Renesmee. Thank you."

She smiles at me with tears in her eyes and thanks me in turn for her song. She asks me to play her something else. Without consideration for my very raw feelings or the six sets of eyes on my back, I do what's natural to me. I start to play Bella's Lullaby.

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BELLA POV

Sure enough, Jake doesn't let up the whole way there.

"So there I was after a long hard four hour shift of working for the man, and where was my ride?"

He's walking ahead of me, talking to the trees and swinging his arms all around to prove his point. I figure answering will just make it worse, so I keep my mouth shut. He turns to face me and stops walking, making me have to stop abruptly so I don't run into him.

"Oh right. My ride was supposedly doing some sort of good deed, finally letting Nessie see the family. But what were you doing instead?"

I can't help but smile when he starts humping the air, but try to look angry as I shove past him to keep walking.

Glancing over my shoulder, I finally speak for the first time since we left the house.

"I thought we were ignoring the elephant."

Jake throws his arm across my shoulders and walks beside me.

"It's a little too late for that Bells. And in our house! Blasphemy!"

I cut my eyes up to his as we walk. "MY house, Jacob Black. Don't make me send you back to where you came from."

"And not see my pearly white smile every day? You wouldn't dare!"

Even though Jake is forcing me to talk about whatever is happening between me and Edward, I'm glad that he's not trying to get serious with me about it. There is no way I could even begin to explain this to myself, let alone him.

As soon as we're clear of the woods and in the Cullens, backyard I hear it. That bastard left me in bed and is sitting in there like everything is hunky dory, playing the piano. No- not just playing the piano. _Playing my song. _I shouldn't be angry. I repeat it like a mantra: I will not be angry, I will not be angry. But hell I am pissed. Jake must sense it because he's stopped running his mouth.

We walk onto the porch and I tap on the sliding glass door, not wanting to just walk in. Edward looks up for a brief second before looking back down at the piano, not missing a single note. Of course he's not getting up to let us in. Renesmee doesn't even notice us, she's so entranced watching him play.

Emmett barrels to the door, sliding it open with a grin.

"Hey, little sis. You go for a ride this afternoon? Was it good?" He waggles his eyebrows at me.

If I could blush still, I would. Do they really all know? If Edward was speaking to me, I would tell him thank you for at least leading me away from the house before I attacked him. Oh God, I attacked him. Great. No wonder he ran away. Now I'm Bella, the Vampire Sex Attacker.

I try to keep my voice even as we follow Emmett inside and I finally answer. "I did, but it could've been better."

Emmett yells "Burn!" and I do my best not to look up at Edward to see his reaction. Jake waves to everyone before walking across the room to stand beside Renesmee and Edward at the piano. Emmett offers me his seat on the sofa and I sit down beside Rosalie, scanning the room.

Everyone is here- Carlisle, Esme, Jasper, Alice, Emmett, Rosalie, Edward, Renesmee, Jacob, and the elephant.

No one is speaking though and the only sound is coming from the piano. My anger has finally dissipated and I'm just sad. The familiar feeling of Jasper sending out a calming wave hits me and I glance over to him, smiling my thanks. He nods in response and turns his attention back to the scene at the piano. I allow myself to look again.

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**EDWARD POV**

I wince when Bella makes a crack about how the sex could have been better. I guess she wanted three orgasms? I shake my head, pushing the thoughts out, because they hurt...because what I want to do is leave. I can't. Renesmee keeps me in my spot, acting as if everything is fine. Nothing is fine. I start trying to think of reasons to excuse myself before I lose it. I am going to lose it. I can't lose it.

_Think of your child, Edward. Think of her. Only her._ "Any songs you want to hear, sweetheart?"

"Claire de Lune? Mama always plays it. Right, mama?"

I turn and look at Bella, keeping my hands and legs perfectly still. I really want to get the hell out of here. She looks like she wants to dig a hole and crawl in. She listens to Claire de Lune? She liked it before me, why wouldn't she like it after? It means nothing. I pull myself together, when what I really want to do is allow myself to fall apart. My fingers move over the keys of their own volition, and the music fills the air. I feel more calming waves from Jasper, and I'm grateful.

Renesmee is even happier than she was now that Jacob is here, and I try to focus on that. On her. On keeping her happy. The tension in the room is thick. I finish the song and stare at the keys. "Daddy? You'll give me lessons, won't you? I want to play just like you!" My daughter pulls me back from the darkness to the light.

I swallow, trying to be sure my voice will come out even and calm. "Absolutely, sweetheart. As long as it is alright with your mother." I can't bring myself to look at Bella again. Not when I know she'll be cold and avoid my eyes. I keep my back to her.

"I'll bring her." Jacob says. He wants Nessie to be happy, and that means keeping the peace. Being the buffer. I haven't allowed myself to think about the imprint in depth, but now I'm actually relieved. I'm thankful that if something happens and I'm not allowed in my daughter's life, he will be there to protect her and her happiness at all costs. That's important to me, especially right now. I feel like at any moment she could be taken from me again.

I nod at Jacob in appreciation. I hear Bella quietly say, "That's fine."

I want to scream. I want to say that nothing is fine. But I don't. I just sit there silently in my own personal hell.

* * *

**Bella POV**

Are you kidding me that Edward is sitting there looking like he wants to punch something? The tension is just too much and I tell Renesmee to say goodbye to everyone.

"But mama, can't I stay here? Daddy was going to show me how to work this thing!"

I stand up and try to think of a reason that we have to leave.

"It's dinner time baby, and I'm sure Jacob is starving."

She looks from me to Jacob curiously, no doubt wondering if this is some sort of trick. Jacob thankfully helps out and rubs his stomach. "Yeah Nessie, I'm a bottomless pit! Besides, we need to read another chapter of Harry Potter before you go to sleep."

This answer seems to satisfy her and she hops off the piano bench, hugging her aunts and uncles and then her grandma and grandpa. She saves Edward for last though, and he meets her at the door, scooping her up into a big hug. The show of affection is too much, but I can't stop myself from watching as I say goodbye to everyone.

Renesmee is still in Edward's arms when she notices me watching. "I'm so happy that my whole family is together again," she says dreamily.

My mind can't think of the right words to say to our daughter, so I say nothing. I look from her little face to Edward's. I may not be able to tell what he's thinking, but the pain in his eyes is clear. There is no doubt in my mind that he regrets what happened this afternoon.

I wait for Jacob to take Renesmee from Edward and follow them outside, glancing over my shoulder one more time before getting into the car. The Cullens may be back in my life, but I feel more alone than ever.

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A/N: So there you have it. The first visit with the Cullens has concluded. Are you still mad at Edward? What do you think Nessie will do next? What do you wish would happen? Hit the review button and let us know!


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: The great Stephenie Meyer still owns all things Twilight. She's a hell of a lot richer than us.**

**Those of you begging for a talk, 1 confrontation coming right up. Be sure to follow us on Twitter for updates and spoilers (poisoncrazy and trixielush). Review and leave us your thoughts, impressions, etc.**

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**Edward POV**

Once Bella, Renesmee and Jacob are gone, I'm ready to go sulk somewhere. I am emotionally spent. The family scatters, all of them knowing me well enough to know I want to be alone. All except Rosalie who stays behind, grabbing my arm when I turn to head upstairs.

"Rose, now just isn't a good time." She keeps her grip on my arm.

"Edward, please just let me get this out. You don't have to say anything." Her voice is quiet, and she is looking at the floor when I turn toward her. "I don't say I'm wrong very often..."

I blink in disbelief, because I didn't expect this. Ever. I shake my head to tell her it's not necessary. I am no longer focused on what she did two years ago.

"No, Edward. Let me."

I nod, and we sit on the sofa. I play with my hands, trying to let go of the fact that Bella didn't say even one word to me before she left. I definitely imagined hearing her thoughts in the woods...when she said she loved me. Even today, I thought I heard her pleading with me not to leave when I was on my way out. Wishful thinking. All of it.

Rosalie clears her throat and pulls me out of my thoughts.

"Sorry, Rose."

She frowns, "Edward, I want to apologize in my part of keeping you from Renesmee. I thought I was doing the right thing, but now I see you together and how much you love her...what a good father you are and could be..."

I nod, about to say it is okay and I forgive her, but she cuts me off. "I should have told you when Bella sent me pictures of her and I knew - "

I hear nothing after that. She KNEW? She knew Renesmee was alive and well and she kept it from me? Bella told her I had a daughter, but didn't bother to tell ME? The rage I feel is all I can see. I faintly hear Jasper come in and tell Rose to go find Emmett. I don't look at either of them. I don't say a word. I stalk out the back door and run through the woods.

I run to Bella.

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Jake POV**

Talk about uncomfortable. That family gathering was the worst. I'm relieved that Nessie didn't seem to notice. She has been happily chattering about the Cullens, especially Edward, since we left them. When we got home, things only got worse. Bella looked about ready to break down. I could tell she was frazzled as she made dinner, so I tried to keep Nessie busy by explaining all the wolves in the pack to her as she worked on sketching them.

Then Edward came to the door. His voice was hushed and angry. Somehow I don't think they went to the woods for a romp. I made a big production of finishing dinner with Nessie, to keep her preoccupied, knowing hearing any tension between her parents will upset her.

I don't have to hear what is going on to know the shit is about to hit the fan.

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Bella POV**

We've had enough time to get home and dinner started before I hear a pounding at the door. Jake and Renesmee barely look up from the table where he's trying to explain to her details of the other wolves in his pack for her to draw.

"I guess I'll get that. Jake, make sure the water doesn't boil over."

Neither of them responds and I try not to let it bother me that my daughter has a new best friend. I turn the burner on low because I'm not sure Jake completely heard me and I really don't want to have to clean up a mess tonight. Ha, a mess. I'm drying my hands off with the dishtowel on the way to the door and stop in my tracks when I pass the front window, and see Edward standing outside. _If looks could kill._ I toss the dishtowel on the small table in the entry and try to compose myself before opening the door, trying to appear casual and not like my mind is running a mile a minute. Why is he here? For Renesmee, of course.

"She and Jacob are in the kitchen."

He shakes his head, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. "I came to see you." He keeps his voice low, but I know Jake heard him because he's talking loudly and making a big show of asking Renesmee to help him finish making dinner.

Before I answer, I close the door and lean against it, trying to keep as much space between us as possible. "Well?"

"Maybe we should go somewhere. So she doesn't hear us," he practically growls.

I want to roll my eyes, but walk past him instead before running hard into the woods. I don't turn around but know he's following me. I slow down when we get far enough away that I know Renesmee and Jacob won't hear whatever is going to happen. I plead with myself not to become Bella the Vampire Sex Attacker. He stops behind me, and I turn to face him, looking at him expectantly. I won't speak until he does.

Edward hisses, "Make me understand, Bella. How the hell could you tell Rosalie about Renesmee - send her pictures - and keep me - HER FATHER - in the dark? You hate me that much? Who else knew?"

Awesome, Rose threw me under the bus.

"She helped me, Edward. No one else wanted- I felt like I owed it to her." I know what I'm saying is wrong, and look down at my feet so I don't have to see his face.

"God damn it, Bella! You owed it to me! I was your husband. I loved you. You left me without giving me a chance! She helped you destroy me, and rob me of two years with my daughter!" He slams his fist into a tree, bark and wood dust flying. I have never seen Edward this angry in my recollection. Definitely never this angry with me.

I take a step back as I look up, meeting his eyes. I'm an idiot for thinking this would ever work, after everything I've done. "Act all high and mighty now that she's here, and she's not some monster- but don't you dare pretend that you gave me even an inkling of hope that you wanted her in this world."

His eyes narrow, his voice venom. "Bella, I was afraid for you. How could I know how things would turn out? I was scared to death of losing you. Vampires and humans don't procreate. Fuck!"

I take another step back, knowing for Edward to use language like that, he is outraged. His fists are clenched at his sides as he seethes, "You didn't give me a chance. Not to process it. Not to accept it. I told you I didn't want you to leave. That wasn't clear enough? You didn't even have the decency to tell me yourself. You left me a fucking letter. Do you know what that was like? I guess you finally got back at me for leaving you. I hope you feel vindicated. You have no idea what you did to me or our family or to Jacob and Charlie."

He's shaking with anger. "I know the Denalis knew something. None of them could look me in the eye when I went up there looking for you. Rose had to have help. They hid their thoughts from me. Tanya was distant. If I hadn't been so out of it, I would have gotten there sooner...I would have found you. Instead I searched every day for two years. Wanting you back. Wondering if I had a child out there and what happened to both of you. I'm a fucking idiot."

Now I'm angry. How could he say that? How could he... In an instant, I'm as close to him as I can be without touching. "And if you had found me, Edward? If you had seen me, lying there in Alaska drinking cups of blood so that I could survive? So that she _didn't_ kill me? If you had seen me barely able to move, all of my ribs broken, covered in bruises? You wouldn't have done something? You would've let me have her?"

He is glaring at me and I shiver at the contempt in his eyes. "When you agreed to marry me, I agreed I wouldn't make decisions for you. I would not have made you do anything you didn't want to do, Bella. What would I have done? I would have brought you home - where you belonged. Where there was a very experienced doctor to look after you." He throws his hands up. "It doesn't matter what I say, Bella. You made your mind up about me two years ago."

I stumble backwards, not able to look away from him but not able to say anything in response to that.

He takes a step back, "I'll send Alice to pick up Nessie tomorrow for her lesson. You won't have to see me since you clearly think so little of me. I'm sorry I pressured you into marrying me. It is obviously one of your biggest regrets." His words sting and I want to argue with him, but he keeps backing away from me. Walking away again.

"Goodbye, Bella."

I look him over, silently saying goodbye and notice something I didn't see before. How could I have missed it?

Edward is still wearing his wedding ring.

I don't know why this revelation bothers me so much, but it does. I can't stop thinking about it. I get back to the house as Jacob and Renesmee are finishing dinner and busy myself with doing the dishes. Jake looks like he wants to ask me something, but doesn't say a word. I don't know if he's waiting for Essie to go to sleep or what, but I don't plan on sticking around to find out.

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Edward POV**

When I get home, I'm glad the family has gone out. They likely went hunting knowing I would need some space. I make note to thank Jasper later. I walk up to my room and pull the letter out of the top drawer.

It is tattered and close to falling apart, I've read it so many times. It still doesn't make sense. If she loved me, why would she have lost faith in me? Why would she have left? She never loved me. It was a human infatuation and it's gone. I twist my wedding ring around my finger and pull it off. Bella doesn't want to be my wife. She never did. She did it to appease me. I put the letter and my ring in the drawer, ready to lay down.

Before I turn back to my bed, I hear someone knocking. Bella? I stop breathing, hoping it's her. I go downstairs and throw open the front door.

_Tanya._ I'm sure my face falls again because she gets all business-like. "Nice to see you too, Edward."

I want to slam the door in her face now that I know she lied to me and kept me from my wife and child, but I can't. She can give me some answers. Answers I need and Bella isn't giving me. I invite her in and take her to the living room. I don't sit down on the sofa next to her because I want to keep my distance.

"Tell me everything, Tanya." I don't have to ask twice.

She starts telling me her side of the whole story.

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**Bella POV**

As soon as I hear Renesmee's even breathing and Jake snoring from upstairs, I slip out the back door and run to the Cullen's property. I want to see him. I want to see if he's really okay. If this is really how he wants things.

Not wanting anyone to know I'm here, I stay close to the treeline and slow down when I can see through the back sliding glass door. Edward is standing in the living room talking to someone sitting on the couch. He's speaking low, and I can't hear what he's saying no matter how hard I strain myself. I let my eyes follow his gaze to see who he's speaking to._ No._

I spin on my heels and run as fast as I can away from here. I don't see the trees or the ground in front me. All I can see is strawberry blonde hair.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: SM still owns everything. We still own nothing. **

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**Without further adieu...One strawberry blonde bitch, coming right up.**

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**TANYA POV**

Edward looks as pleased to see me as always. I'm a little put out when he doesn't sit beside me on the sofa, but figure if he needs space right now- I'll give him space. He asks me to tell him everything. I guess he found out about Bella and the kid. I'll tell him everything alright. My version of things. Before I start, I see something out of the corner of my eye in the backyard. By the time I turn my head whatever it was is already gone.

I look back to Edward and take a deep breath, trying my best to look distraught. "Rose called us and asked for a favor. You know we feel like your extended family Edward, we couldn't say no."

Edward raises his eyebrow, "You sure as hell could have. You could have told Rose to mind her own damn business, just as you could have minded yours."

I lower my head as if I'm in trouble and keep my voice low. "Eleazar and Carmen made us all promise not to say anything. I had no part of it, honest." I look back up at him, making sure my bottom lip is sticking out slightly and my eyes are as wide and as innocent as possible. "And then we picked her up at the airport and the whole ride home she just kept going on and on thanking us for getting her away from you."

Edward winces and then looks at me carefully, probably trying to see if I'm being honest. Good thing vampires are perfect liars. "Oh." He looks wounded.

Good, I've got him. I stand up and walk over to him, gently squeezing his shoulders. "I know it hurts to know you're not wanted, Edward. Forget about her. She was a silly human girl when you were together. Let the past be the past."

He closes his eyes and nods, but says nothing. I am giving myself a mental fist pump. I drop my hands from his shoulders, linking my fingers with his so he stops clenching his hands. When he doesn't immediately pull away, I walk backwards and lead him to the couch.

_Mission accomplished._

* * *

**RENESMEE POV**

Mama has been very quiet since yesterday. I have no idea what is going on or what is wrong. I can tell Jacob is trying to make up for the fact that she is out of it by keeping me busy today, but I've noticed. Of course I have. My mama and I are close. We only had each other until recently. I watch the clock, eager to go to daddy's for my first piano lesson.

When the time finally gets close, I wait by the door for Aunt Alice. When her car pulls into our driveway, mama tells me to go ahead, so I run out. Aunt Alice frowns when I jump into the back seat. "What's wrong?" I ask her.

"I was going to come in."

"Jakey has to work today, so mama will pick me up. You'll see her then." She smiles and relaxes. I don't mention that Jacob is not really working. I just begged him to say he was and disappear for a while so mama would have to pick me up and see daddy. "Please don't tell daddy, Aunt Alice. I want daddy to be surprised when mama comes."

I giggle, and she winks at me in the review mirror. "I won't tell."

I hook myself into the booster, grinning that they have one for me already. "Aunt Alice, this isn't the kind of car I pictured you driving."

She laughs and it sounds like bells. "This isn't mine, Ness. This is your grandma's. My car isn't conducive to a booster."

As we pull out of the driveway, I look at her, wondering if she'll tell me anything. I shrug and decide it's worth a shot. "Can I ask you something, Aunt Alice?"

She suddenly looks nervous, but nods.

"Why don't mama and daddy live together? Why aren't we a real family? What happened? Mama is so sad..." I look to the aunt I barely know, but already love, for answers.

She sighs, watching the road, "Nessie, your daddy loves you. That much I can tell you, the rest you should really talk to him and your mama about."

I scowl, folding my arms and look out the window. I'm so tired of no one filling me in.

I start to relax when we pull up to the house, excited to see my father and have him teach me about something he clearly loves. I plan to ask him straight out why he isn't with us. I hope he doesn't blow me off like mama did.

I march into the house like I own the place. I mean, it is kinda my house too, right? "Daddy?" I call from the entryway.

He comes from the living room, standing in the doorway with a smile on his face, but something in his eyes looks different. Sad. "Hi Sweetheart!" He comes over to hug me and I launch myself into his arms, needing reassurance with all the uncertainty around me lately. Then I see Aunt Tanya. I don't like how she's eyeballing my daddy. I can't help but frown. He's my mama's. Isn't he?

"Aunt Tanya? What are you doing here?" I ask with my hands on my hips.

"Our families are close friends, Essie. I came for a visit."

I look skeptically between her and daddy. "Mmm hmm."

I hear Aunt Alice come in behind me. Daddy looks at her and nods. It's like they are having a secret, silent conversation. Aunt Tanya smiles sweetly at me, and it just makes me want to throw up. I don't feel like it's sincere at all, and even thought I always liked her, I suddenly feel like I can't trust her.

Aunt Alice skips into the living room and daddy holds my hand as we follow her. Aunt Tanya stays close to my dad. I want to growl and hiss at her and tell her to back up, but mama always told me to mind my manners and daddy seems to be into that sort of thing too, so I keep my mouth shut.

I walk around the room, hugging everyone, basking in all the attention and love my family gives me. When I get to Rosalie, I smile at her.

"Aunt Rose? I forgot to tell you yesterday, but you are the most beautiful woman I ever saw." She grins and thanks me, and I look meaningfully at Aunt Tanya who is crossing her eyes. She sees what I'm doing. Let her try to mess with me and my daddy.

I sit on the piano bench next to my daddy and Aunt Tanya sits on the other side of him. WHAT THE HECK? I know I shouldn't think that way, but I'm advanced for my age, and it is just what comes to mind. I decide it's justified. Daddy looks uncomfortable and I'm irritated. I reach for the sheet music, acting like I'm asking a question, hip bumping him as hard as I can so he bumps Tanya and she falls on her butt on the floor.

Emmett laughs behind us, "So much for vampire reflexes, eh, Tanya?"

Tanya scoffs, easily jumping up on her feet. "I wasn't expecting that."

"I'm sorry, Aunt Tanya. It was an accident." I smile sweetly. Daddy looks like he's trying not to laugh, but scolds me to be more careful. I nod that I understand.

I smile at my father. "Daddy? Can we spend some time just the two of us? I want to talk to you about something." I look around at my family. Except Aunt Tanya. "Is that alright? I'll see you all soon. I love you all." I smile at them and they all get up to go. Tanya stays put.

Daddy looks uncomfortable. "Tanya? Could you leave us, please?"

I cock my eyebrow at her, not about to ask nicely if she doesn't move. She puts her hand on daddy's shoulder, "Of course, Edward." She runs her hand across his shoulders as she walks out. I cross my eyes glaring at her.

"Don't touch my daddy like that, Aunt Tanya!" She looks at me with wide eyes and my dad looks like he'll laugh, but bites it back. "Please." I add snottily, only to be polite. I can't have daddy thinking mama raised a heathen.

When Tanya's gone, Daddy visibly relaxes. Until I speak, anyway. "Daddy I have a lot of questions...why haven't you been with us? Don't you love mama? She's sad, you're sad..." I shake my head trying to understand.

He sighs, leaning his hand on the piano. My eyes go wide. "Where's your ring, daddy?" I am old enough to know what a wedding ring is. Daddy always wore his. Until now. I'm mad for mama now. If my Jacob ever takes his ring off after we're married, I'll kill him. Daddy blinks, staring at me like he knows what I'm thinking.

"You are not getting married, Nessie. Not for a very long time." Way to change the subject, _Edward._

"You can read minds?"

He nods. "Except for Bella's."

"That's so cool!" Yeah, so his tactics worked. For the moment anyway.

"Not really. It's a burden a lot of the time. Once in a while it's useful."

"Daddy, where's your ring?"

He squirms a little on the piano bench and clears his throat, his voice quiet. "I put it away."

I look at him, seeing how sad he is. He looks lost. Just like mama did when she was sitting on the bed with the picture..."Why?"

"Because it doesn't mean what it did before, what it should." He looks out the window, avoiding my eyes.

I nod rather than arguing. I don't want him to feel sad, so I drop the subject. I press one of the piano keys. "Okay, daddy. Show me what this thing can do!"

I get so involved in the piano lesson, I don't even notice at first that Aunt Tanya came back. She's circling like a vulture, waiting for her chance at my daddy.

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**BELLA POV**

Jake picking up an extra shift today of all days seems a little too suspicious, but I don't say anything to him or Renesmee. I'll just.. honk from the driveway. Now that I've had a few hours to process Tanya being here, it makes sense. Edward is single and she wants him. I can't blame the girl for trying.

After a long and anxious afternoon by myself, I get in my car and head to the Cullens. I stick to the speed limit. I'm in no hurry to see Edward so soon.

I try honking, but no one comes outside. It's rude anyway, I suppose. I pull the visor down to take one last look at myself before getting out of the car.

Alice comes to the door before I even have the chance to knock. "Like I would let you go without seeing me!"

She takes my hand and leads me inside. Jasper and Rosalie are playing chess in the living room, with Emmett sprawled out beside Rose with a all look up and smile and then look across the room to where the piano is as Alice takes her place beside Jasper.

I follow their gaze and first see my daughter. Renesmee is grinning as wide as can be and motions for me to come over. I let my eyes drift to Edward beside her. Tanya is behind him with her hands on his shoulders. So I wasn't seeing things last night. She's really here. And he's letting her touch him.

"Mama, daddy taught me how to play 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star'!" Before I can answer she's staring down at the keys in concentration, carefully playing the song for me. I try my best to focus on listening and not at the sight of the three of them together, like a family.

When Renesmee finishes playing and everyone tells her how good she already is, she skips over to my side and takes my hand, tugging me to the piano. As much as I want to resist, I don't want her to sense any more tension than I'm sure she already does between me and Edward.

She sits down beside her dad and clears her throat for him to scoot over. I think I see her glare up at Tanya, but I can't be certain. Either way, Tanya removes her hands from Edward's shoulder and pulls me into an awkward hug.

"Bella! It's so good to see you! Isn't it funny how things turn out?"

Before I can answer, Tanya lets me go and stands behind Edward again, looking at me like she's won some big prize. Edward won't make eye contact with me, but has scooted over to the edge of the piano bench. Renesmee is patting the empty part of the bench beside her for me to sit down. As soon as I'm beside her, Renesmee turns her head up to Tanya.

"Aunt Tanya will you please give me some space? I'm a little crowded here."

My eyes widen as I wonder what has gotten into my daughter and try not to laugh at how ridiculous this situation is. Edward doesn't say anything, and I'm certainly not going to at this point. Tanya huffs quietly and walks across the living room, sitting in a lone chair facing us at the piano. I can feel her eyes burning into the back of my head but don't care.

I try to focus on Renesmee's fingers on the keys of the piano. Edward reaches over to correct her and that's when it hits me that this is real and he's really done with me. He's not wearing his wedding ring anymore. I guess when he said goodbye that he really meant... goodbye.


	21. Chapter 21

**CHAPTER 21**

**A/N: She still owns everything.**

**We just own Assward. (That's a little shout out to one of our reviewers. You know who you are!)**

**Time for a little meddling. Do you love Emmett as much as we do? **

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**Here. We. Go.**

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**Edward POV**

I go to my room when Nessie and Bella leave. Watching them go was hard. I just stood there, waving at my daughter, as the car pulled away. I was screaming inside for them not to go - to stay, but I won't say it. The fact remains that Bella doesn't want to stay. She doesn't want me. I'm not sure why she was receptive to me in the woods, or why she asked me to stay at her house, it is so contrary to all of her other actions.

She's a vampire now. Vampires have a need for...um...relations that is only eclipsed by the need for blood. The fact that I was without a mate and did not take a lover for so many years is extremely rare for our kind. I suppose Bella simply had a need for someone. I was there. That is all it was. Right?

I know I'm like a zombie. I don't feel anything. I don't really hear or pay attention to anyone's mind. The only thing that brings me out of my stupor is Renesmee.

I am brought out of my thoughts when I hear Rose raising her voice. I look at the door and sit on my bed, trying not to listen, but unable to stop myself.

"Tanya, you know I love you, but what the hell do you think you're doing?"

Tanya sounds aggravated. She's gotten good at hiding her thoughts, and I hear nothing, even when I am concentrating on it. "I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about, Rosalie."

"Keep your damn hands off my brother. He belongs with Bella and his daughter. If he were interested in you, you would have had him a long time ago." I furrow my brow. Rose thinks I belong with Bella? After she helped her leave me?

"You helped her leave him, Rose. You sent her to us."

"We both know she wasn't leaving to leave _him_, Tanya. She was doing what she felt she had to be done to protect Renesmee. She was wrong. So was I."

"The fact remains she didn't contact him to tell him about their daughter. Seems to me that makes him available. Besides, he isn't wearing a ring."

Rosalie's voice is scathing, "Fuck the ring, Tanya. Edward will always be Bella's. Just like she'll always be his. Leave my brother alone, and stop trying to slide in there. Even if he ever turned to you, which he won't, it would only be a rebound."

I want to tell them not to fight, but I can't move. I'm surprised Rose would want to protect Bella and me. She was never our advocate in the past. I suspect Tanya was lying about Bella not being able to wait to get away from me based on the fact she didn't bring it up with Rosalie. Tanya sounds hopeful that I'm 'available'...does that mean she thinks there is a chance we'll get together? Because Rose is right. It is not going to happen. It didn't happen before Bella. It sure as hell will not be happening now.

I replay Rose's words in my head, when she said that Bella wasn't really leaving me. She was protecting Ness...

I shake my head and lay down, staring at the ceiling. More confused than ever.

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**Emmett POV**

It's been a couple days since Nessie's piano lesson. Edward hasn't left his room. The family knows there has been some seriously complicated shit going on between him and Bella, so we just leave him alone. Tanya of course sees it as her chance to swoop in and has tried coaxing him out. It hasn't worked. Tanya is like another sister to me in a lot of ways, but she needs to go. She isn't helping. At all.

I decide I'll give Edward today. Then I'm going in to tell him how it is. Better me than Rose, and she's chomping at the bit. She'd lay into him and probably just piss him off. He may go off on me, but he may listen. When I get serious, people usually do.

I'm sitting on the couch, flipping through channels, when I hear his door open. I glance at the stairs, hoping he'll come down, but not wanting to make a big deal if he does. I see Alice and Rose look up from their girlie magazines across the room. Tanya jumps up and starts moving toward the door.

"Sit down, Tanya." I say in an uncharacteristically hard voice. She looks at me startled. "I'll be damned if I'm going to let you scare him back into hiding. I need to speak with my brother." She frowns but turns back to whatever it is she was doing.

Carlisle and Esme are gone, and Jasper is on the back porch, fiddling with his guitar. Alice nods at me when I make the decision to take Edward hunting. She says really quietly, "That's best."

I grin in appreciation, knowing she has seen the outcome, unless something changes. "Thanks, Pix."

I hear Edward step off the last stair, but I don't want to jump on him, so I wait. He comes into the living room and looks around. He must catch Tanya's thought because he looks ready to bolt.

"Ed, you want to go for a hunt with me, man?" I ask casually.

He looks grateful and nods. I stand up and walk over to kiss Rose, telling her I'll be back. She gives me a look that says _don't fuck this up. _Gee, thanks, wife. No pressure or anything.

She smiles, "You guys take your time." I look at her questioningly. What is she up to? She just smiles bigger. "See you later, Emm." I smile at Alice who has a faraway look in her eyes and is grinning. Yep. They are up to something.

Edward and I step out onto the back porch. I'm glad Tanya left him alone. He's in a bad enough mood without her help. Jasper looks up at us and gives a wave, before turning his attention back to his guitar. Alice didn't tell him to come with us, so I guess it won't be _that _bad.

We walk to the edge of the woods. I look over at Edward, "You alright, bro?" He nods and we both take off running. We don't say anything for hours. We focus on the hunt.

We finally slow down when we're both satisfied. Edward is quiet, but he seems better after drinking. I break the silence. "So what were Ali and Rose up to?"

He shrugs, "They were reciting designer names and how to apply make-up in their minds."

"Edward, I know everything with Bella and Ness is between the three of you and it's none of my business, but I need to say some things."

He doesn't look thrilled, but nods for me to go on.

"This whole situation sucks, I realize that. But bro, you have to fight for what you want. We all know you want Bella." He squeezes his eyes closed, so I keep talking before he can interject. "For arguments sake, let's say you don't. Fine. You have a child together. An amazing child who loves both of you. You two need to put all the bullshit aside and be friendly, work together for her sake."

To my amazement, Edward doesn't argue with me. He just nods and says quietly, "You're right."

Okay, so the most important point was made. Now it's time to go for the zinger. I'm sure this part will piss him off..."You love Bella. She loves you. We all noticed your ring is gone physically, but you still feel it on your finger, don't you? You aren't just going to let her go after all this. You waited YEARS for her, Edward. You've spent the last two never giving up on her, why the hell would you give up now?"

"She doesn't want me." He mutters. "She doesn't trust me. She lost faith in me two years ago."

"Bullshit. She was just as scared as you were back then. You pushed her away, so she reacted. You can't put it all on Bella. You two will never be over. The sooner you both get over yourselves and admit it, the happier all of us will be."

He is narrowing his eyes and looks like he's about to go off. I put my hand up. "Don't say anything, Edward. Just mull it over. I'd be a shitty brother if I didn't tell you the truth as I see it."

And with that, I turn and head back to the house.

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**Bella POV**

The days after the piano lesson are relatively quiet. Renesmee never asks or speaks about Edward around me. We've been spending our days at the bookstore while Jake works at the shop down the street. Renesmee has been reading cookbooks and insists on trying to make dinner most evenings, with Jacob's help of course. During the day we all pretend things are normal. It's only at night when they're both asleep that I allow myself to think of Edward.

When I'm sure Renesmee is asleep in her room and Jake is snoring downstairs on the couch, I sit on my bed. My entire room still smells like Edward. Now that I'm certain we don't have a future, I've been going through the stages of grief. I've gone through denial, anger, and bargaining. Depression has been more tricky, but I'm moving on to acceptance.

As I have every night since I first saw Edward and Tanya in the living room of the Cullen house together last week, I'm wallowing in self pity. The contents of the fated honeymoon suitcase are surrounding me on the bed. Bathing suits, lingerie, my favorite pajamas from high school. Laid out in a circle around me are the photos of Edward and I on the island. Mostly just Edward... I tell myself this is sick and twisted, but can't help it. I want to remember what I had. What I gave up for what I thought was right.

Tonight will be my last night, though. I tell myself that I have to move on, like he has. Everything will be packed up before dawn and I'll finally get rid of it all. Burn it or something, I don't know. I just can't keep doing this to myself.

I open the drawer of my bedside table and pull out the small jewelry box. It contains only one thing. As I slip it onto my finger for the first time since I walked out of the Cullen house over two years ago, a sound comes from the doorway of my room.

"Sorry, I knocked but no one came. And I knew you were awake. Obviously."

Rosalie moves across the room to my bed and sits down, carefully moving a black bikini out of her way. She picks up one of the pictures surrounding me and looks it over carefully.

"I keep telling Emmett to take me back to the island, but he doesn't like the game around there."

When she finally looks up at me, she smiles apologetically. "I said I was sorry Bella. I came to talk to you. And this," she sweeps her arm across the air over the piles of things on the bed, "this is unhealthy. You two have taken this too far."

She's right, obviously, so I don't try to deny it.

"Bella, you still love Edward. If you didn't, you wouldn't be doing this." She waves her arm in the air again.

I cut my eyes away from her, focusing on how heavy the ring feels on my finger. "I was saying goodbye. You should give this to him, I'm sure he wants it. It was his mom's and all..." my voice trails off as I look up at Rosalie.

Rose glares at me, "Bella! You are kidding, right? You want me to give Edward back your ring? What is this? Grade school? You two seriously need to grow the fuck up, or grow a pair, or something."

I can't think of anything to say, and when I don't speak she continues.

"You both are ridiculous! Edward broods in his room for days. You are obviously not doing much better here. You are both a mess without the other and neither of you do anything about it. Why not? You really don't want him anymore, Bella? And Tanya! I let her have it this morning. Edward was too out of it to tell her to keep her damn paws to herself, even though he was clearly uncomfortable. So I told her he's yours. And he is, Bella. He'll always be. So you have to decide if you are going to take him, or let him go. No assuming, no guessing. You and he have a conversation and get closure if that's what you want. Then you have to be friendly to each other for your daughter's sake. This not speaking thing is ridiculous."

I scoff and start gathering up the pictures, trying to process everything. "Edward and I don't get a lot of talking done. Everything is fine until he _does _talk. Then it's all downhill."

Rose rolls her eyes. "That's a cop out, and you know it. He came over here pissed off after I slipped up and mentioned that I knew about Renesmee. That doesn't count as talking. It was probably more Edward yelling and saying things he doesn't mean. He is lost, Bella. Everything is fine? Meaning you have sex?" She looks at me pointedly.

"I'm disappointed in you, Bella. You used to have moxie. You sure as hell wouldn't have laid down and played dead. If you mean what you say, if you're really done with Edward, let him go. You're legally married, so you need to get legally divorced. Set him free." She cocks her head to the side to read my expression, see what I'm thinking.

I don't give her an answer and she leaves as quickly as she came, telling me that whatever I plan on doing, I need to do it fast. I'm not sure how long I sit there, but when light starts streaming in through the window, I force myself to stand up and gather everything from the bed. When the suitcase is repacked, I put it back in it's place beside the closet door. My previous plans of getting rid of everything seem foolish.

As if it would make this any easier.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Still own nothing. SM owns all. Damn. Cuz I'd love to really be Team Switzerland and date both Edward AND Jacob. Why choose? :)**

**Okay, so Edward realizes some things, thanks to Emmett. Maybe you all will stop calling him Assward and Dickward now (even though it makes us laugh).**

**Let us know your thoughts! The good, the bad, the ugly. We love to know what you're thinking!**

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**EDWARD POV**

I wanted to yell at Emmett, to just take everything out on him. Instead I stayed silent. Part of me knew he was right. Maybe all of me knows. When he left me standing in the woods, I stayed out there alone for quite a while. I just thought about what he said. Rolled it around in my mind to get comfortable with it.

Was he right about Bella still loving me? I don't think so. The Bella I knew would have said so. She would have fought for us, if it was what she wanted. So the dream of having Bella as my wife again...of the three of us living together as a family...I needed to let that go. Right?

Regardless, I needed to be pleasant to Bella. Friendly even. Could we be friends if our marriage was over? How could we not? I couldn't imagine Bella not being in my life in some form. It hurt too much. Though I knew I needed to let her go to some extent, I couldn't imagine letting her go completely. Call me masochistic.

In order for us to be friends, I suppose I need to apologize for my part in things. I have been so quick to blame Bella, it's only because I couldn't forgive myself. Emmett hit me right in the gut with his statement that I drove her away. That's exactly what I did. I let my fear take over. I shut Bella out.

I stayed in the woods working through my thoughts. I stayed to harden my resolve. No matter what Bella threw at me, no matter how cold she was, no matter how much she didn't want me around, I would be pleasant. I would smile and joke and be friendly. I would do this for Renesmee and for the selfish part of myself that needed Bella in my life. Because frankly, I knew whatever she handed me, I deserved.

When I finally returned to the house, two days had passed. I felt like a weight was lifted from my shoulders. I ran up the stairs, stopping in the hall outside my room when I heard Tanya in my room. She looks up immediately. What is she doing in here?

"Edward?" She looked hopeful and needy, neither of which I could help her with.

"Why did you come?" I asked her as I walked through the door. "Your family and ours...we're friends. That's all you and I will ever be, Tanya. You know that, don't you?" She looked ready to protest, so I held up my hand to silence her. "I need to focus on my daughter. I need to figure out what the new normal is with her in my life. I'll better be able to do that if you go home, Tanya."

Her face fell and I felt a little guilty, but at the same time I was doing her a favor. It was unkind to let her keep any kind of hope for us. There would never be an _us_. Even though Bella and I might be through romantically, I had no interest whatsoever in any other woman. I knew I never would.

I noticed a beat up piece of paper in Tanya's hand. Bella's letter. _My _letter. How dare she? My temper was about to get away from me. I reached out and snatched the paper from her hand.

"How dare you come in my room and go through my things, Tanya. What on earth made you think you had any right?"

Instead of cowering away from me, she stepped closer. "Isn't that letter proof enough, Edward? It's almost as if she's begging us to be together."

Between what she said and the clear motives that slipped out of her mind, I was thrown off guard when her lips pressed to mine. I pushed her back gently, putting space between us.

"You should go."

Tanya packed her things and left while I was showering and getting dressed to go see Renesmee. I felt even lighter with the weight of her hope and expectation gone. On my way out, I saw Emmett and Rose in the living room, both smiling smugly. Thankfully, they didn't comment, but from Emmett's thoughts, I could tell he had been waiting with the door open when Tanya came downstairs. I just smiled back, shaking my head and told them I'd be back shortly with Nessie if all went well.

All of that brought me to where I am now - sitting in my car nervously, parked at the curb by the bookstore. I am grateful that I still have the Volvo, since they are such safe cars. I am also glad that Esme had the foresight to get booster seats for my daughter installed in all the appropriate vehicles. Alice may have had something to do with that. I smile to myself for what feels like the first time in days, take a deep breath and get out of the car.

As I walk to the door, I repeat a mantra in my mind to stay casual, not to scowl and not to take anything Bella throws at me personally...even if it is personal. If it's personal, I deserve it. I am here for Renesmee. She is extremely bright and has caught on to a lot more than anyone would think. I know this from her thoughts. My first priority is and will continue to be my daughter's happiness.

I walk into the store and the bells jingle on the door. Bella is focused on whatever she is doing at the counter. Nessie is sitting in her usual spot, drawing. She looks up when I walk in, her whole face lighting up. I wave and signal to her to stay where she is. She smiles wider and nods encouragingly toward Bella. Since Jacob isn't here, I assume he's working. That is about all that seems to keep him from my daughter's side nowadays.

I slowly approach the counter, standing there, waiting for Bella to look up. She doesn't. "Can I help you?"

I smirk, and lean on the counter, "Actually you can."

She looks up and gasps. I suppose she was absorbed in what she was doing since she obviously didn't smell me. "Edward..." Her voice is practically a whisper.

"How's business?" Really, Edward? I want to roll my eyes at myself, but I keep the stupid grin on my face.

Bella looks even more confused. "Um...it's fine." She chews her lip like she used to. It makes me want to brush my thumb across it so she lets it go from between her teeth. My hand actually twitches with want, so I put it in my pocket.

"I was wondering if I could take Renesmee for a couple hours? For another piano lesson? She enjoyed it so much last time and I just really love spending time with her..."

She looks at me carefully, as if she's looking for an alternative motive. She sees none. "Yes, of course, Edward. Essie would love that."

"Thank you. Can I tell her?" She nods and I walk over to Nessie.

Renesmee squeals and runs to me before I can get to the table. She throws her arms around my legs. "Daddy! I missed you so much."

I squat down and pick her up, hugging her. "I had some things to take care of, I apologize for my absence." She kisses my cheek and I know I'm forgiven. "How about a piano lesson? Would you like that? To come to the house for a while?"

She smiles even brighter and nods. "I would love that, daddy! I want to see everyone...except Aunt Tanya." She grumbles the last part.

"Nessie, Aunt Tanya went home."

Her eyes light up and her voice conveys her excitement. "She did?"

I nod. "There was no reason for her to stay any longer." She understands the underlying meaning of my words and tightens her arms around my neck. "Let's go tell your mama goodbye." I set her back down on the ground.

I walk behind Nessie when she runs to Bella, who comes around the counter. They hug and Bella murmurs to her, "Have fun, baby. Jacob or I will pick you up in a few hours."

Bella walks us to the door and Renesmee puts her hand in mine. I turn to Bella when she holds the door open for us.

"Thank you, Bella." I smile at her and she half smiles back.

"You're welcome."

As I turn to Nessie, I am eye level with Bella's hand on the door. She is wearing my mother's ring. Her engagement ring...I look up at her with confusion. Bella's eyes follow mine back to her hand and she quickly drops it. If she were still human she'd be blushing.

I shake off the look on my face, refusing to say anything about it and make things even more uncomfortable. So I smile at Bella again as Nessie and I walk out of the store. "See you later, Bella."

She lifts her hand to wave, realizing it's the hand wearing my ring, and quickly jerks it back down to her side. "Bye."

After I get Nessie into the car, I walk around to the driver's side, my thumb reaching for my ring finger, seeking out my wedding band. It isn't there.

Emmett's words ring in my ears - _your ring is gone physically, but you still feel it on your finger, don't you?_

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**BELLA POV**

_Shit. Shit. Shit._

I wait until Edward and Renesmee pull away to close the door and go back inside. Well what do I do now? I should take the ring off. He probably thinks I'm bipolar. Maybe I am bipolar. Is it possible? Something is wrong with me, obviously. Rosalie's unexpected visit last night has kept me distracted all day and I honestly forgot to take it off and place it back in the box.

When I'm back behind the counter, I lean against it and spin the ring around my finger. Edward's reaction , or non-reaction really, surprised me. And what was going on with him today? Despite our physical escapades, the only time we've spoken to each other has been tense and angry. Now he's being cordial... Even friendly. Then it hits me. He wants to be nice, for Renesmee's sake. Of course. And that's why he told Tanya to go, because our daughter wasn't comfortable with her there. I feel stupid for thinking otherwise and slip the ring from my finger, shoving it into the pocket of my jeans. It'll go back into the box as soon as I get home. And then... who knows what I'll do. I can't even make myself think the 'd' word right now. Not yet.

I spend the next couple of hours unpacking a new shipment of books and putting them on the shelves, trying my best to keep my mind on work. It's a slow day at the shop and not many customers come through. Jake finally responds to my text that yes, he will pick up Renesmee from the Cullen house.

Relieved, I leave the the store at closing time and head home to make dinner for Jake and Nessie, my new version of family.

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RENESMEE POV**

Daddy and I spent the afternoon talking and playing with the piano. He would get quiet once in a while and have that far away look in his eyes that mama often gets, but I didn't pry. I was dying to ask mama about the ring she had on though. I had never seen it before. I saw them both looking at it.

It was quiet at one point. I was sitting there with the questions swirling in my mind, biting my lip. I snapped out of it when I saw daddy staring at me.

_"_You have a lot of questions." He said.

I looked at him carefully. "Yes, and no one seems to want to tell me anything."

He stood up, "Come on. I want to show you something." He didn't look too sure of himself, but I got up and followed him up to his room.

Daddy pulled a box out from under his bed, and nodded toward the white couch for me to sit down. He carried the box over and set it between us.

"Nessie, I know you want answers and I'm not sure I can give them to you, but I can tell you where you come from, if that makes sense..." He pulled out pictures from the box and looked through them. "When I met your mama, she was human, as you probably know. These are from when I took her to the prom."

He looked at each picture again before handing them to me. He looked a little sad, but I noticed he tried to smile. Probably for me. I'm so excited to see them together and happy. Like in the picture mama had when she looked so lost sitting on her bed.

"These are from when we graduated from Forks High School." He said, handing me more pictures. I giggled at Uncle Emmett's face in the family picture, but most of my focus was on mama and daddy.

The next group of pictures were from their wedding. I got a little teary. Mama looked so pretty and daddy so handsome. They both looked so happy and in love. I felt sadness for what could have been. What should have been. What still needs to be.

Daddy cleared his throat. "I just wanted you to know you came from love, Nessie. Regardless of how things are now or how they are in the future, just know that." He squeezed my hand as a tear rolled down my cheek.

I leaned up to hug him. "Thank you, daddy."

When Jacob came to pick me up, I was happy to see him. Of course I was. I was disappointed mama didn't come though. So was daddy. I could see it written all over his face, right before he hid it from me.

Now I'm sitting in the car with Jacob, replaying everything in my mind. He keeps glancing back at me.

"You okay, kid?" He asks me, his concern showing with the lines in his forehead.

"Yeah, but I'm going to need your help with something."


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: We don't own it. Duh.**

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**Here we go. There will be some actual discussion. It's a start anyway. More notes at the end. We don't want to ruin anything for you.**

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**JAKE POV**

If you'd told me not too long ago that there would come a day I would be playing assistant matchmaker to get Bella and Edward back together, I would've had you committed. Imprinting makes us do crazy things. Though I highly suspect, if I'd met Renesmee in some other way, she'd still have me wrapped around her little finger. She has a way of doing that to people.

So, imprinting or Ness' charm...whatever it is, has brought us to the store for candles and such so she can carry out her plans. With my help. I can't help but wonder if her little plan works, what will happen to me? I mean is Edward really going to let me stick around? Are we all going to be one big, happy family? Somehow I doubt it.

I hated the idea of being apart from Nessie from the beginning, but now that I know her...now that we're friends...it would just be that much worse. On the plus side, Ness has Edward wrapped around her little finger too. That gives me hope.

Right now, I'm just trying to figure out the difference between a pillar and a tealight to keep that smile on Nessie's face. I just hope her little heart doesn't get crushed by their reactions. I did notice Bells wearing her ring this morning, so that's something. She still doesn't want to talk about it. As usual, I ignored the elephant, who is now wearing a pink tutu and dancing to capture my attention, and didn't ask.

When Ness is happy with what we have in the cart, we go to pay. Well, I pay. So I'm not only helping, but financing this little scheme. To get the girl I thought I loved more than anything and my mortal enemy back together. How is that for an about face?

We drag the bags to the car and head home. Nessie can't stop chattering all the way about how romantic this will be. I want to break her out of fantasy land, because I know it might not go as she hopes, but I'd rather strong arm Edward and Bella into going along with it. Anything to keep from breaking her beautiful, little heart.

We set candles all over the place and she lights them. Am I supposed to stop her from playing with fire? I don't know...I just do as I'm told and get things set up to satisfy her wishes. She asks me to get her portable CD player, so I run upstairs to get it from her room. On my way down I hear her on the phone.

"Daddy. I need you." She sounds like she's crying. What the fuck? Scheming women. See? It starts young. She grins at me when she hangs up the phone.

"Let's go, Jakey. Daddy should get here right before mama walks in." She turns on the music, some quiet, romantic classical song.

I just shake my head in awe of her.

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**RENESMEE POV**

This will work. It has to. When two people belong together they just need a little shove. I decided that's my job.

My mama and daddy are no match for me.

I grab Jacob's hand and pull him toward the door. "How about you take me to a movie or something?" I stick my lip out to ensure he agrees.

"Sure, sure." Is all he says. We grin at each other and leave. I make sure the front door is unlocked, knowing daddy will bust in if I don't answer.

This is too perfect _not_ to work.

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**BELLA POV**

When I pull up to my house and see Edward's car, I can't help but be surprised. Surprised because I thought Jake was picking up Renesmee. And because I don't hear a single heartbeat from inside. We're alone which can only mean one thing. He wants to talk. Again. Or he wants the ring back. Either way, I'm not looking forward to it as I walk in the door.

What I was not expecting to see was Edward standing in my living room, surrounded by candles. What the...

"What are you doing here?"

He looks like he wants to ask me the same question. Instead he looks around the room before meeting my eyes. "Nessie called me...I...I don't really know..."

"What do you mean Nessie called? You were just with her. Where is she?"

Edward widens his eyes, looking confused. "I have no idea where she is. She called me crying and said she needed me over here. So here I am. Did you put her up to this?"

_What? _He's lucky I don't punch him.

"Yes Edward, you made it clear you didn't want to be with me so I told our young and impressionable daughter to turn my living room into the set of a music video."

"_I _made it clear _I _didn't want to be with _you_?" Suddenly he's quiet, like he's thinking about something.

"You're the one who said goodbye Edward." I can't look at him, so instead I walk around the room blowing out the candles.

I see him cross his arms over his chest out of the corner of my eye. "I said it? Maybe your memory is lacking from your change, but I have you saying goodbye to me in writing, long before I said goodbye."

When every single candle is out, I sit on the arm of the couch and finally meet his stare. "Then go. This was obviously a mix up and Renesmee isn't here."

Edward sets his jaw and raises his eyebrow. "I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what you meant."

"Then you'll be standing there an awfully long time."

I stand and walk to the kitchen. My phone vibrates in my pocket on the way and as I slip my hand in to get it, my fingers touch the cool metal of the ring. I ignore the ring for now, and any previous thought of returning it, and check the text from Jacob.

"They went to a movie" I mutter, more to myself than to him as I slam pots and pans around to start dinner for when Renesmee and Jake decide to come home and explain themselves.

Edward keeps right on going. "I have all the time in the world. Literally. As for standing, I guess it benefits me to have so much stamina."

Since when is he so cocky? I look into the living room on my way to the fridge and he hasn't moved. Slamming the package of steaks on the counter I mumble, "Too bad you don't know what to do with it."

He growls and walks into the kitchen. "Why do you say things like that, Bella? If you didn't want me, why ask me to stay? I don't understand you!"

I refuse to look at him, putting the package of steaks into the microwave to thaw instead. "I won't ask you to stay again. I'm sorry if I put you out by asking."

"Why fake, Bella? If it was so awful..." He looks at the floor.

"Are you serious that out of EVERYTHING, you're focusing on your sexual performance?"

He shrugs, still not looking at me. "Well, since that is all you wanted from me, yes."

Are you kidding me? He thinks... I walk across the kitchen and stand in front of him, fuming. "If all I wanted was to cum Edward, I could've done it myself."

He pinches the bridge of his nose. "Then what, Bella? Why me? Is this a game for you? See how long it takes to drive Edward crazy again?"

I take a step back. "Again?"

He shakes his head, "Never mind. Don't change the subject."

"If neither of us plans on answering the other's questions, then it's best you leave Edward. This is getting us nowhere."

"Then answer my question. Why me? Why were you wearing your ring today? What does that mean, Bella?"

I stare back at him defiantly. "And what does it mean that you aren't wearing yours?"

"It doesn't mean anything."

Feeling like I've been slapped, I walk past him into the living room and open the door. "Leave then."

"No. I answered your question. Now answer mine."

I keep my hand on the door knob. "It's too late for me to answer your question Edward. We both said goodbye."

He still doesn't move. At all. "Is that what you want, Bella? If it is, I need to hear you say it. Tell me you feel nothing for me, and I'll go."

I don't know how long we stand in the dark living room. I can't bring myself to answer him. The only sound is the CD in the background. Where did she even get this CD to play? I try to focus on the notes, and not the awkward silence growing between us.

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**EDWARD POV**

I stare at Bella, getting more and more tense the longer she's silent. "You have nothing to say, Bella?"

Her voice is quiet and she still won't look at me. " I don't want to lie to you."

I stand straighter, feeling more confident. "Then don't." Our eyes meet again and she looks uncomfortable.

"I don't... feel nothing for you."

I am getting more and more frustrated. She is adding more questions to my list than answers. My voice comes out rougher than I intend it to, "What. Does. That. Mean?"

She drops her hand from the door and turns to me, keeping her head down. "It means that seeing you without your ring... broke my heart."

I feel my mouth open and close several times of it's own will. When I finally get pull myself together, I quietly admit, "I only took it off because I thought that's what you wanted. Bella, I..." It hurt her that I wasn't wearing my wedding band. That means something. "I'm sorry."

She shakes her head, "Edward, don't."

I have to. She deserves it. My behavior has been unforgivable. "I'm sorry for how I've treated you - not just now, but two years ago. I was scared of losing you...I'm still scared."

She puts her finger over my lips to silence me and I take a step closer to her. "Edward, don't. We both made a lot of mistakes. No more talking. Just kiss me."

A groan escapes me and I take another step toward her, putting my hands on her face. Part of me screams not to do this again, we still have so much to talk about. The other part of me celebrates that she has finally admitted she feels something for me, that she wants me to kiss her. You can guess which side wins...

I take another step toward Bella so our bodies are flush against each other. I tilt her face up and bend my head down, brushing my lips gently across her forehead and her eyes, her cheeks and finally her lips. She sighs, sounding almost relieved. I know regardless of everything we've said to each other, both of us lashing out, she needs me as much as I need her.

Our kiss is different than the others we've shared recently, not so rushed or desperate, slower and more deliberate. Bella relaxes against me, putting her arms around my neck. Both of us moan when our tongues touch, and Bella runs both hands around to my chest. Her fingers slowly unbuttoning my shirt. When we break the kiss, I snake my arms around her small waist, letting my fingers roam under the edge of her shirt on the soft skin of her back.

Our eyes don't leave each others and I smirk at her as she unbuttons the last button. "Turning over a new leaf, Bella? Not going to destroy this shirt?" She smiles back at me and closes her eyes, shaking her head. I swear, if I had a heart it would be beating out of my chest. "You are so beautiful..." The thought runs through my head and rolls off my tongue before I even give myself the opportunity to comprehend it.

I push Bella's shirt up, moving my hands along the exposed skin and pulling it off over her head. She pushes my shirt off my shoulders and I shake myself out of it. Her hands roam over my chest and down my stomach.

While placing open mouthed kisses across her shoulder and moving down her chest, I unhook her bra and pull it off. I move my mouth to one of her pebbled nipples, brushing my lips across it before slowly sucking it into my mouth. Bella whimpers and arches her back toward me and her fingers move to the hair at the base of my neck and she tugs me more firmly against her. I groan into her skin, before pulling my head back and picking her up bridal style to carry her to the sofa.

I gently lay her down, watching her as I kiss down her stomach and she pulls her lip between her bottom teeth. I put my hand on the button of her pants, clearing my throat to ask her, "Are you sure?"

She smile encouragingly and nods slowly, "I'm sure, Edward. Take them off."

I groan audibly again, unfastening the button and pulling the zipper down and then working her pants and panties over her hips and pulling them down her shapely legs before dropping them on the floor.

Standing back up straight to take my jeans off, I let my eyes roam over Bella's perfect body. My cock twitches at the sight of her. She smiles, gnawing on her lip again and puts her finger out, motioning me toward her.

I want to tell her I love her, because in this moment, it's all I can think about, but it's too much, too soon. I don't want to spook her. I refuse to spook her. I lay on the sofa next to her and she rolls on her side to face me, our bodies pressed together.

I run my fingers down her arm and over the swell of her hip. Bella is chewing her lip and looking at me nervously. I take my hand and move my thumb over her lip, like I wanted to at the store so she releases it. Then I lean down to kiss her again.

She moans my name against my lips and I groan as she hooks her ankle around my calf, pulling me closer to her. I roll on top of her, both of us moaning when my cock brushes against her core. Bella opens her legs, hooking them both around my calves as I settle against her.

Our foreheads are pressed together, our gazes locked. I move my shaft through her folds hissing, "God, Bella..." before pressing the head against her entrance. Her hips buck up, and I can't help but smirk at her. "It can't be that bad then..." I cock my eyebrow and she claws at my back.

"Edward, just shut up and fuck me." We both laugh until I quickly bury myself in her, our chuckles turning to moans. "Edward...so good."

I pull out almost all the way before plunging back in. Bella makes a sound that drives me crazy. I move my lips to her her ear. "So you lied."

I pull out again, pushing back in, grinding against her. She lifts her hips toward me and tightens her legs around me. "Of course I lied. You make me feel so good..."

Now that issue is resolved, so I find a steady rhythm, Bella matching it perfectly. I kiss her again, our tongues exploring each others mouths as our bodies move together.

_So good...love you..._

I open my eyes, looking at Bella. Her eyes are closed and she's lost, her tongue still moving against mine. I know I hear that...

I pull my mouth away from hers. "Tell me what you're thinking," I whisper to her. "I want to hear you."

"Edward..."

I twitch inside of her, almost losing it when she says my name huskily.

"So good, Edward..."

I move my hand down her stomach to find her clit, rubbing it vigorously while I thrust into her. Bella pants and I can feel the heat in my stomach. "Cum with me, love," I murmur.

She throws her head back, clenching around me, letting out a throaty moan.

As I empty into her, I drop my face into her neck, mumbling incoherently.

I collapse on top of her, both of us needlessly gasping for air.

"Edward?" Bella sound quiet, timid almost.

I lift my head up to look at her, pushing her hair out her face. "Hmm?"

"Are you alright? You aren't going to take off now, are you?"

_Don't go. I love you._

I furrow my brow looking at her, but not wanting to scare her. Not wanting to push her into something she isn't ready for. I kiss her quickly. "I feel amazing. Do you want me to go?"

"No!" She says quicker and more forcefully than she intended. I can tell by the look on her face.

I nod and settle back down against her, speaking quietly, "Then I'll stay."

Bella settles into my side, lazily tracing patterns on my stomach. "Edward?"

For someone who hasn't wanted to talk much lately, she seems to have a lot of words.

"Yes?"

She rolls on tolls on top of me, straddling me, her lips parting. "I want..." I raise my eyebrow, gasping when she starts rubbing herself along the length of my once-again-hard cock. "...you inside of me again," she finishes.

I groan and wrap a hand in her hair, pulling her down to me, kissing her hard, both of us moaning again.

Suddenly Bella pulls back, I'm confused at first, both of us turning our head at the same time to see Jacob and Renesmee at the door. He throws his hand over her eyes as I grab the throw, covering Bella and I up. I was too distracted to hear them.

_Oh, shit! _

I look up at Bella, cradling her to my chest, keeping her covered and hidden as best I can.

"You can say that again." I say in response to her thought.

She looks at me, eyes wide, realizing I read her mind. "Oh, shit!" She says again, out loud, for an entirely different reason.

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**There will be more discussion. We realize Rome wasn't built in a day. Yes, Ed and Bells are making nice, but no, the story isn't over. There are twists and turns coming. **

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	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Steph still owns it. We still don't.**

**Jake and Ness crack us up in this chapter. I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as we enjoyed writing it.**

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**JAKE POV**

Nessie was talking non-stop. Again. So glad to see her father's car still in the driveway. I planned to listen and be sure the coast was clear, but she took off for the house before I even got the car in park. As soon as I got out of the car, I knew what was going on inside. I rushed to the door behind, Ness, wanting to stop her, but she ignored me and opened the door just as I got to the porch step.

You want to talk about an awkward moment. If I thought being at the Cullens' with all the tension between Edward and Bella was uncomfortable, that did nothing to prepare me for walking in on their moment. So I did the only thing I could think to do. I threw my hand over Nessie's eyes and closed mine.

I heard Bella say, "Oh, shit." My sentiments exactly.

"Uh...I'm just going to take Nessie to uh...get some dinner. We'll be back...um...later." I tell them.

Edward just nods and Bella, looking mortified says, "Okay. Use the card I gave you."

I quickly usher Nessie back outside. "Get in the car kid."

"But..." I see a hundred questions on her face.

"We'll talk about it over pizza, just get in the car." She nods and runs around, climbing into the backseat.

As I'm getting into the car, I hear Edward and Bella laughing and then her squeal. Oh, god. My ears and eyes will never be the same.

On the way to the pizza place, Nessie is clearly stressed. Poor kid. No one should see their parents doing _that. _

"Jakey?" She sounds exasperated and I don't have the heart to tell her 'not now'.

"Yeah, kid?"

"Was mama hurting my daddy? Why didn't you help him?"

I try not to laugh, glancing at her over my shoulder. "Don't worry, Ness. She wasn't hurting him."

"Hmph." She crosses her arms and I can tell she's trying to figure it out. My mind is screaming that _I _cannot have the sex talk with _her_. She's not just an innocent kid, she's my imprintee and uh...weird. I will kill Bella for this.

I park the car and turn off the ignition, sitting there for a minute, trying to figure out how to handle this. If I'm disturbed, how does Ness feel? How do I end up in these situations? Fuck. My. Life.

Nessie grabs my hand and holds it tightly, gasping before we get to the door.

"I know!" She blurts out, like she just won a prize.

"You know what?" I ask her, feeling my eyes widen. Why am I stressed? I am not the one who was naked as a jay bird when my kid walked in.

She whispers loudly. "They were having S-E-X. I read about it in a science book."

Did I mention fuck my life? I clear my throat uncomfortably. "You should have this talk with your mom, Ness."

"Are we going to do that when we get married, Jacob?"

What? "I'm sorry. What?" I feel like my throat is closing up. If I could dig a hole in the blacktop and disappear to avoid any further discussion, I would. Maybe we should have gone hunting instead. I wouldn't have to talk then...

She crinkles up her nose. "You know. When we get married. Do I have to do _that_?" She says it with disgust.

Laughing at the absurdity of this entire situation, but especially at the look on her little face, I say, "You never have to do anything you don't want to, Nessie. Ever. Anyway, what makes you think you're going to want to marry me when you grow up? There are a lot of guys in the world. You shouldn't make plans like that now. You're young." I say all that because I should. Right? _She _has a choice in this.

Her face gets red and she stomps her foot in frustration. "Are they all as dumb as you?"

I watch her march into the restaurant with my mouth hanging open.

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**BELLA POV**

Before the car has even pulled out of the drive, Edward's hands are roaming. I pull away slightly and tug on the back of his hair so he'll look up at me, but he won't budge.

"Edward, you have to tell me."

He mumbles incoherently against my skin, so I pull harder on his hair. I'm doing my best not to look mortified about him all of a sudden hearing me. Did something happen to me when I changed? If he heard that, he's heard... I struggle to sit up, covering my face with my hands.

Edward makes a big show of sitting up beside me and sighing. "I have to tell you what Bella? That I want you again before they get back here?"

I roll my eyes and look up at him, leaning against the sofa and covering myself with the throw.

"You're avoiding it. I mean, how could you have... This whole time?"

He shakes his head, "I haven't. Only little pieces...always when we're intimate."

I groan inwardly and reach for my jeans. "Like what?"

He takes my jeans from me, dropping them back on the floor. "I don't even know, Bella. I thought I was imagining it, but I clearly heard 'Oh, shit.' when Nessie and Jacob came in."

This isn't making any sense. I lean back against the sofa and close my eyes, concentrating as hard as I can. When I finally open my eyes, Edward's looking at me with an eyebrow raised.

"Well? Did you hear that?"

He widens his eyes and shakes his head. "I didn't hear anything. What did you think?"

I relax, trying to figure out what is going on. If I'm trying to make him hear me and he can't, then maybe it's just some fluke thing. Or maybe I said it out loud, and he's just confused. I laugh and lean over, kissing along his jaw. "You'll find out next time. If you can really hear me."

"Is next time now?" He gives me that crooked smile that looks so familiar and makes my stomach flip.

If I don't get up now, I never will. I push my hands off of his chest and stand, pulling my jeans back on. "Only if you want Jake to kill us both."

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**RENESMEE POV**

My Jacob got all weird when I said something about us getting married. It seems obvious to me. Why do boys have to be so stupid? I tried to ignore him during dinner. He was trying to make jokes and smiling at me like the sunshine. It only made me more annoyed.

"If you don't want to marry me, Jakey, just say so. Don't put it on me." I grumbled at some point.

"Ness...you're like six or something. No one will be marrying anyone anytime soon."

I glared at him, and felt my nostrils flare. I hope that scared him. "I was right about mama and daddy and I'm right about this. You'll see, you stubborn ass."

He almost fell out of his chair then. "Nessie, you can't talk like that. Your mom will blame me!"

I crossed my arms, sticking my chin out. "Good!"

He looked surprised. "Nice, Ness! Selling your best friend down the river. She's going to kick my ass out and I'm going to have to go back to Washington."

"NO!" I felt the tears filling my eyes, "No, Jakey, you're my wolf. You can't leave me."

He frowned, looking sad. "I didn't mean it, kiddo. We just have to be careful about your language. So your mom doesn't go ape shit."

We both laughed because he swore _again_.

That was pretty much dinner...now we're headed home. I hope daddy is still there, I'm bouncing in my seat.

"Cool it, Ness." Jake seems all tense again.

I squeal, literally squeal, when I see Daddy's car is still in the driveway. Jacob starts talking again, "Nessie...I don't want you to get your hopes up here...Just because they...um...yeah...doesn't mean everything is perfect."

"Right, but it means it will be." I say with a 'duh' tone in my voice.

He just shakes his head, clearing his throat. "Um, Ness. Stay here while I make sure we don't have to see _that _ever again."

He gets out of the car and I unhook myself, but stay put until Jakey waves that I should go with him. I bound out of the car and to the door, grabbing his hand again as we step inside. Mama and daddy are sitting there, like it's the most normal thing in the world. It _feels _like the most normal thing in the world. Jake sighs with relief, probably that they have clothes on now.

I bounce over to them, giving them each a kiss. They both look nervous, so I just nip it in the bud, looking between them. "Jacob and I are sorry we barged in earlier. We hope you got back to whatever you were doing after we left." Daddy eyes go wide and mama looks like she's be beet red if it were possible. Jakey snorts from behind me.

No one says anything and I hear Jake grumble behind me, "Guess the elephant's twin sister has moved in." I have no idea what that means, but mama doesn't look too happy with him. "Chill out, Bells. You're the one who did _that_ where _I _sleep."

I turn around and look at him with my hands on my hips, "Leave her alone, Jacob. It's just sex." The whole room seems to gasp at once, and I'm not sure what I did wrong.

I turn back to mama and daddy and he croaks out, "How do you know what that is?"

I cock my head to the side, a little annoyed. "I'm pretty smart. I read a lot." I shrug and look at the floor, something catching my eye. Bending over to pick it up, I see it's the ring mama was wearing earlier. It's old fashioned and sort of ugly, but I have a feeling it has something to do with daddy. I never saw it before today, and it's not a wedding ring, but I can tell it's important.

I take her hand, sliding it on her ring finger. "Here mama, let's put this back where it belongs." I see her and daddy looking at each other weird, so I try to make it better. "You must have dropped it. On accident. No harm, no foul, right?" They still look strange. OH! Maybe mama is upset that daddy isn't wearing his ring. "Daddy had to take his off and get it cleaned, right, daddy?"

He smiles slowly, and mama laughs, so I just shrug.

My work here is done.

* * *

**EDWARD POV**

I feel better tonight than I have literally felt in years. Since our honeymoon, actually. After I realized I wouldn't kill Bella by making love to her and before we found out she was pregnant. Watching Nessie, plopped in Jake's lap, giggling, makes me wish I knew then what I know now. I would have done everything so differently...

Bella looks carefree and just...breathtakingly beautiful. I have my arm around her shoulders and she leans against me. It feels like the four of us are a family. Yes - even the werewolf. Bella can have what she always wanted - both of us in her life. No arguments, no resistance.

I want this. No matter how much I've fought with myself, fought her, sitting here, feeling like this, I know it's what I want.

"What?" Bella asks me, looking concerned.

I shake my head and smile, kissing her nose. "Nothing, love." Did I just say that out loud?

I hear Nessie whisper excitedly to Jacob "He called her _love_!"

Well, damn. I did say it out loud. Bella's demeanor doesn't change at all, she takes it in stride, so I get back into the conversation.

When it's bedtime, Nessie asks me to read to her. "You don't mind, right Jacob?" She asks.

"Sure, sure, kid." He grins at her and she relaxes her shoulders. Their connection is almost tangible. She hugs him and he kisses the top of her head.

I hear Bella say to him as I head up with Nessie, "You can sleep in my bed, Jacob. Sorry about the couch."

He snorts, "You don't look sorry. You look happy." I hear him start up the stairs as Nessie and I walk into her room. "Thanks for the bed, Bells. The elephants can stay with you tonight."

After Renesmee has fallen asleep, I kiss her forehead and walk back downstairs. Bella is sitting in the dark, chewing her lip. She looks up at me and smiles shyly and I smile back.

I want to stay forever, but I don't want to push things. I know I should go. I sit back down next to Bella, and thread our fingers together. "I should go..."

She nods slowly, and I catch a look cross her face. Disappointment? I squeeze her fingers. I want to tell her I don't want to go, but I just say, "Will you walk me out?"

She gives me a small smile and nods, and we walk outside to my car together.

I want to tell her I love her, but instead I say, "I want to take you on a date."

She smiles bigger, looking at our hands linked together. "Do you?"

"Yes. May I? Friday night? 8:00. I'll pick you up?" I smirk at her.

"Yes." Her voice sounds breathless.

"Can I kiss you goodnight?" I ask, still smirking.

"Please."

I press her up against my car, bracing my hands on either side of her, leaning my body into her and brushing my lips against hers gently. The kiss gets more passionate and when I finally pull back, we're both breathless.

"Goodnight, Bella. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight, Edward."

As I pull away, I see her put her fingers to her lips.

When I get home, I bound up the porch steps and go inside. I stick my head in the living room and wave at the family. Six eyebrows raise. "What?"

"What's with the grin, Eddie?" Emmett asks.

I shrug. "Can't I just be happy?"

He and Rose high five. I shake my head and go upstairs to shower. On my way, I hear Alice collecting money from bets. They bet on this?

After my shower I decide to go back down and relax with the family...be social for a change. Out of habit, my thumb goes to my ring finger to move my ring in a circle. Of course, it isn't there. On my way out, I go into the drawer and take it out, putting it back on my finger.

Where it belongs.


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: Still don't own it. Wish we did. We could be author rockstars like SM. Of course, we'd use it be around the hot actors. **

**A little fluff...Moving right along.**

**The next chapter will be the big date! Where should they go? Review and give us your ideas.**

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**BELLA POV**

When Edward leaves, I try to keep myself busy. The uneaten steaks go in the garbage and the throw from the couch goes in the washing machine. Since I've given up all rights to my room to Jake, I sneak in only to get a change of clothes before taking them to the hall bathroom to shower. Being as quiet as possible, I move all of Renesmee's bath toys to the edge of the tub as the water heats up and step in, closing the shower curtain behind me. I let my mind wander as I wash my hair. Tonight went... much better than I had anticipated. I had expected to come home, make dinner, and wallow in self pity. When my daughter wakes up, I will have to thank her profusely for her scheme. And have a talk with Jacob about why he went along with it, when the outcome could have been heartbreaking for her. Heartbreaking for all of us, actually.

When the water turns cold, I abandon the shower and get dressed. I leave my hair wet and bundle it on top of my head, not wanting to deal with it right now. After checking on Renesmee to make sure she is still sleeping soundly, I walk downstairs and outside to sit in my favorite chair on the front porch. _He wants to take me on a date. _My husband. A date. I don't know what this means for us, but it's a step in the right direction. The two of us alone together, with our clothes on and not angry, will be a feat in itself. We'll actually have to talk.

Some time before dawn, I hear Jacob shuffling around the kitchen to get a glass of water. He walks out onto the porch with his hair standing on end, holding the glass and sitting down next to me. He watches me carefully before saying anything.

"You alright, Bells? You didn't get stampeded by the elephant, did you?"

I shake my head and give him a small smile.

"I'm fine. Are you going to tell me when you decided helping my daughter get Edward and I in a romantic setting would be a good idea?"

He shrugs, looking smug. "I couldn't tell her no. She gives me those puppy dog eyes... Besides, you're my friend, Bella. You fought like hell to be with your vampire back in Forks. After you married him, had his baby and turned into a leech yourself, why would that change? I did the right thing. Leave it alone."

I mull this over for a few minutes and stand. "You'll need to learn to tell her no at some point, Jacob. She needs to learn she can't get everything she wants." With that, I walk inside and leave him on the porch. Renesmee will be awake soon and now that she's eating regularly, I want to have breakfast ready for her.

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**JAKE POV**

I'm sitting at the table in the kitchen, inhaling sausage links when Nessie comes practically dancing into the room. The grin on her face lights up the room and she's all sunshine and rainbows, and shit if it doesn't make me grin right back.

When Bella said I needed to learn to tell Ness 'no', I had a lot to say to that, but she left me on the porch, and the subject was dropped. It doesn't work that way. _No _isn't in my vocabulary when it comes to this child. I watch her little face fall after she looks around the room, and I would do anything to put the smile back on her face. She looks over at me with her brow furrowed and crosses her arms over her chest. Uh oh. She glares at Bella and her face gets all red. Did I already say uh oh?

"Where is daddy?" She seethes.

Bella looks surprised. Probably by the tone in Nessie's voice. I look between the two of them with wide eyes. Back and forth like a tennis match, waiting for the explosion.

"He went home, Essie. Don't talk to me like that." Bella is trying to stay calm, I can tell.

"You ran him off again, didn't you? You always mess it up!" Oh hell. Here it comes.

"Renesmee Carlie Masen, you go to your room. I am your mother and you will talk to me with respect!" Bella points to the stairs. I just widen my eyes and look at the floor. I'm not about to get in the middle of this. I have no right.

I hear Nessie start to say something a couple times, but she just turns to head up the stairs. As I look up, she looks back at me. Asking for help. I just shrug and she scoffs at me, running up. Great. I look at Bella, her expression daring me to say anything. They are both pissed at me and I didn't even do anything! It's like living at home with Rachel and Becca all over again. I'm the lone male in this group, and I should just get used to the fact that I'll never win.

I decide against saying anything to Bella, who looks like smoke should be coming out of her ears. I grab a plate and start putting breakfast on it to take to Nessie. Bella snaps at me, "What do you think you're doing?"

I raise both my eyebrows, wondering what the heck the big deal is. "Bringing Nessie her breakfast."

She glares at me. Wait, what? What the hell did I do? "You need to stop spoiling her, Jacob!"

I raise my eyebrow, completely confused as to what her problem with me is. "I agree that she shouldn't talk to you like that, Bella, but she has to eat. I don't think that's spoiling her..." I frown, not really sure what I'm supposed to do next. "I'm not trying to step on your toes here, Bells."

She sighs and I see her relax some. She doesn't say anything, but she nods, so I finish making the plate and I bring it up to Ness. She is staring out the window and ignoring me, still mad I didn't intervene on her behalf.

"Come on, Ness. Don't be mad at me." My voice sounds much whinier than I would like.

She turns toward me with her hands on her hips. "Jacob, you're supposed to be on my side!" She sounds whinier than I do. Small consolation, but...

"I'm sorry, Ness! Sometimes I can't be on any side. She's your mom. She was right..."

She makes a hmph sound and stalks to the other side of the room, pulling clothes out of her dresser. "I want you to take me to my daddy's house. Please."

I nod dumbly, leaving her to eat her breakfast and to get ready, going downstairs to clear her plans with Bella.

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**RENESMEE POV****  
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I stare out the window while Jake drives to daddy's house. I don't believe them that mama didn't make him leave. I know I shouldn't sass, and I didn't mean to... I just don't know what's going on. I know they think I'm a kid, blah, blah, but I'm part of this family too. Broken or not. I unhook myself as soon as we stop.

"Have mama pick me up, Jake." I say as I open the door and climb down.

"Yes, ma'am," he grumbles.

"Thanks," I call as I run to the house, throwing the door open and stepping inside, with my hands on my hips. Daddy comes out of the living room immediately. He smiles at me and kisses my forehead.

"Hey there, sweetheart."

I start tapping my foot. My hands are still on my hips. "Daddy? Did mama send you away? Is that why you were gone this morning?"

He adamantly shakes his head. "No, sweetheart. I came home because we have more talking to do and we need to take things slowly. I can't promise you that we'll all live together someday, but I can promise you I'll do everything I can possibly do to make sure that happens."

I smile and nod, satisfied with his answer. "Okay." I suddenly feel guilty for being so mean to mama. I frown thinking about it and look at daddy, catching myself.

His voice is stern, "Renesmee, you show your mother respect at all times, understood?"

I nod, looking at the floor ashamed, "Yes, daddy."

He puts his hand on my back. "Okay then. Do you want to play some music?" I nod enthusiastically and follow him to the piano. I smile smugly when daddy puts the sheet music up and I see his ring is back on his finger.

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**EDWARD POV**

I feel ridiculous, watching the clock and the door when it gets closer to time for Bella to arrive. Why in the world do I feel nervous? I'm not sure, but I do. By the time I hear her car in the driveway, I'm pacing next to the piano while Nessie plays.

"Daddy! Stop! You're making me nervous!" She throws her hands up.

I look at her timidly. "Sorry, Ness."

Emmett, who is now sitting on the couch, is looking at me with amusement. "Geez, Eddie. You're still not very smooth." He jumps up and bounds to the door to greet Bella.

"Sis! Not just going for a ride...you're the engineer of the Edward train!" He laughs at himself and I can hear his eyebrows raising over and over.

I almost fall over at what I hear next - Bella declaring "Choo choo!" I laugh, looking toward the entryway and Emmett looks like a proud papa, picking her up and spinning her around.

"That's my girl!" He declares. They walk into the living room arm in arm.

Suddenly I feel overwhelmed. I don't even know how to act with my family and Nessie here. I want to take Bella in my arms. I clear my throat feeling every one's eyes on me.

"Hi, Bella." I move toward her and kiss her cheek, talking quiet though I know everyone can hear me. I really don't want an audience. "I realized I don't have your phone number..." I stammer, stupidly pulling my phone out and handing it to her so she can put her number in it.

She smirks and programs punches numbers into my phone. "That would explain why you didn't call today. I hoped you were weren't of _those_ guys." She laughs quietly and I smile my crooked smile at her.

I look over Bella's shoulder at Nessie. She is beaming, but quickly looks away so I don't know she's watching us carefully. Her mind is going haywire with excitement and hope. Bella turns around to follow my gaze. "Come on, Essie, we should get going."

Nessie jumps up off the bench, hugging Emmett and Rose before coming over to me. I squat down to her level to give her a hug and she puts her hand on my cheek, blasting me with images of Bella looking sad...Bella staring at the picture I left on the bed and looking lost...Then she shows me last night, focusing in on Bella and I and how happy and easy we were with each other...She shows me what has just happened in the past few minutes and what she hope for the future. I nod slowly, giving her a big hug and whispering to her that I'll do my best. I kiss her forehead as I stand up again.

Bella gives me my phone back, and I slide in into my pocket. She hugs Emmett and Rose and I walk her and our daughter to the door. Nessie hugs me one more time and then runs out to the car, leaving Bella and I standing in the doorway.

"So, I'll um, see you tomorrow?" Bella asks, biting her lip.

I nod, leaning down and kissing her softly. "I'll text you and let you know how to dress."

She nods, "Okay..." She puts her hands in my hair, pulling me back down to her lips and I smile before pulling back again.

_...I love you..._ I hear her thoughts say.

"I love you too, Bella."

Her eyes widen and she gasps, covering her mouth with her hand. I expect her to ask me questions or freak out that I heard her again. Instead, she surprises me, as only Bella ever could.

She grins at me, her eyes wide. She turns to walk to the car with her head held high, calling over her shoulder, "Text me tomorrow and I'll expect you at 8:00 sharp!"


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: We don't own it. We couldn't if we tried. It's already owned. **

**Sorry, we lied. The actual date will be on Thursday. Here are all the events leading up to it.**

**Apologies for being behind on responding to reviews. It was a busy weekend. The free time we had was spent writing. We read every review, appreciate it and take it to heart...Unless you tell us we suck, then we ignore you. Just kidding!**

**Hope you enjoy this...**

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**BELLA POV**

I think I could live off the high that comes from my short visit at the Cullens today for weeks. Truthfully, I thought it would be awkward and nerve-racking. Instead it was perfect. Like old times. I'm not sure what Renesmee showed Edward, but his response was exactly what she wanted to hear. The rest of the evening she was her old self again and even apologized for how she reacted earlier in the day.

After tucking Renesmee in to bed that night, I stayed downstairs in the living room to listen to her and Jacob banter. My daughter made me proud and was not afraid to stick up and speak her mind to "her wolf". From what I had learned about the imprinting process before, I know that some day she will have to learn about the actual imprint and make a decision. For now, I am more than grateful for the help Jacob has given me. Our little family still feels incomplete, but it's getting there. When Renesmee finally gave up the fight of sleep and started lightly snoring, Jake moved into my room, and I heard his even breathing the second his head hit the pillow. He was probably drooling all over my sheets, but considering how little use the bed is to me anyway, I wasn't too upset.

I spent the rest of the evening hunting, staying as close to the house as possible. By dawn I was fully satiated and made my way back to the house, smiling at the sound of Jake and Renesmee already awake and cooking breakfast together in the kitchen. After a quick hello, I went upstairs to shower and make myself presentable before joining them.

On my way down I finally look at my phone for the first time since last night. No calls or texts from Edward. By the time I get downstairs, Renesmee is talking a mile a minute about the dream she had last night. I kiss the top of her head and sit down beside her, smiling across the table at Jacob.

He gives me a cocky smile as he plops a piece of bacon in his mouth. "So Bells, where's the old man taking you tonight?"

I frown and tap my fingers against the table. "He didn't tell me."

Renesmee sets her glass down on the table and looks at me with her huge eyes. "I bet he'll take you somewhere fancy. Like a ball."

I laugh and ruffle her curls. "A ball? Maybe, but I'm thinking more along the lines of a movie."

She shrugs and goes back to eating her waffles. "I bet my daddy is very romantic."

I nod in agreement and slip my phone from the front pocket of my jeans. I'm already a nervous wreck, since he hasn't texted yet like he promised. Did I put my number into his phone right? Or maybe he's having cold feet.

By noon, I'm terrified that I've read all of his signals wrong. I bet it was that dumb train joke with Emmett yesterday. I was as surprised as everyone else in the room when I said what I did.

The doorbell rang and before I could stop her, Renesmee was at the door on her tiptoes trying to get the lock undone. "Renesmee you know you aren't allowed to open the door," I say as I gently move her and unlock the door.

"I know mama but what if it's daddy?"

I kneel down beside her and smile. "Daddy won't be here for hours. Let mommy deal with this, go back to torturing Jacob." My small child considers this for a moment and rushes back up the stairs, where poor Jacob has become a human barbie doll with as many bows and ribbons in his hair as possible.

I straighten back up and finally open the door, putting on my most pleasant smile for the human that awaits on the other side. I smell the flowers before I see them. My eyes are blurred as I quickly sign off where the man tells me to and take the flowers into the living room, setting them on the coffee table. Sitting on the couch, I finally allow myself to look at them. _Wildflowers. _They look like he went to the meadow and picked them himself. Broken memories come flooding back and I suddenly have a million questions for Edward. Now that's he's here and I don't have to worry, he can fill in the holes where parts are missing. My fingers shake as I lean forward and take the envelope that has my name written perfectly in his handwriting. After a deep breath, I slip the notecard from the envelope.

_My Bella,_

_I apologize for being late in contacting you this morning. I hope now you understand why. I cannot wait to see you this evening. Dress casually._

_Love,_  
_Edward_

I don't know how long I sit in silence, staring at the words, before Renesmee comes barreling down the stairs with Jacob at her heels. She hops onto the sofa beside me and without asking removes the card from my hands, reading each word slowly and carefully out loud. Jake flops into the chair across from us, rolling his eyes and making faces as she reads. My daughter practically swoons and makes a big show of setting the note on the coffee table and smelling the flowers.

"See, I told you my daddy was romantic." She frowns slightly and tilts her head to the side. "I don't know why he told you to dress casually though, since he's taking you to a ball." Her eyes light up as if she's just solved the mystery. "He must have a dress special for you! To surprise you with when he gets here!"

I laugh and pull her close to my side, my nervousness only partially gone. "If your daddy takes me to a ball, I'll be sure to take lots of pictures for you."

Renesmee moves from the couch and stands in front of Jacob with her hands on my hips. He looks earnestly back at her and I have to try not to laugh, because he clearly doesn't realize that he left one lone pink bow on the side of his head.

"Jacob, when do you plan on taking me to a ball? Do I have to wait until I'm old like my mama?"

I have to bite my lip harder to hold back my laughter and try to look serious, leaning forward on the sofa. "Yes Jacob, until she's old like me?"

"Uh...I uh...I don't do balls, Nessie. Bonfires...cookouts...That's more my style." He clears his throat uncomfortably.

"Jakey, how I'm I going to marry you if you won't take me to a ball? Hmph." Essie crosses her little arms over her chest.

Not wanting to see my daughter upset, I stand up and put one hand on her shoulder. "Come on baby, let's go get your things ready for tonight. Maybe we can plan a ball for your next birthday." With that her eyes light up and she runs upstairs, Jacob's defiance a distant memory. I rip the bow from Jacob's hair and he yelps, grabbing the side of his head.

"For someone who has a way with kids, you're really something today Jake." He grumbles, but follows me upstairs.

"You're the one who told me to tell her no. I finally do and I get shit for it."

I just shake my head. Him and Renesmee are going to the Cullen house while Edward and I are out, and it will take both of us to talk my sweet child into not taking her whole wardrobe to show her aunts.

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**EDWARD POV**

Today has been one of the longest days of my existence. I called all over the country to find just the right wildflowers to send to Bella. I would have gone to Forks and picked them myself if it were the right season for them. Instead I paid a pretty penny to get them all here. I wish I could have seen her face when they arrived. I hope she recognized them.

I look in my closet, selecting a sweater, deciding I should dress for the chill in the air for the benefit of the humans. After pulling the sweater on, I muss my hair. I know Bella likes it a little messy. I look at myself in the mirror, satisfied with my appearance, but hoping the date I decided on for tonight isn't too low key. Bella usually liked understated. I know it's important we talk and have fun together, and well...there just isn't much to do in Montana.

Right before I head downstairs, I grab my wallet, making sure I have enough cash. I leave my room, stepping into the hallway, and almost running into Jasper, who is just smirking at me knowingly.

"Hey, Jazz."

"Relax, Edward. Don't be nervous."

"I'm not...I..." I snap my mouth shut, realizing who I'm talking to. I can't lie to Jasper. He is feeling as nervous as I am due to his ability.

"You'll do just fine, Edward. Just be yourself and be honest."

Before I can even answer him, Alice comes bounding out of their room, bouncing excitedly.

"Good choice, Edward." She says as she eyes my attire. "I should have gone over to help Bella..." She mumbles wistfully.

I roll my eyes. "Bella isn't helpless, Alice. She always looks beautiful."

She starts to say something else, but I cut her off when I hear Renesmee and Jacob arrive.

"I have to go. Jasper, Alice, have a great night."

"You too!" They both say in unison as I head down the stairs.

I greet Nessie and Jake in the entryway and she is glaring at me. I furrow my brow, kissing the top of her head, moving toward the door.

"Daddy! Why are you wearing jeans? You're supposed to take mama to a ball..."

Jacob snickers and I grin at her.

"Nessie, tonight I'm just planning to have fun with your mom and talk through some things...There will be plenty of time for balls."

She widens her eyes. "Really?" A smile spreads across her face.

"I sure hope so. Have a good night and we'll see you later."

She calls out the door after me, "Bye, daddy! Have fun! Kiss her goodnight!"

I hurry out to my car, laughing to myself. Our daughter is just amazing. I don't think I'll ever get over thinking so. I try to remind myself as I drive through town toward Bella's not to speed. I'm anxious to get there...to see her. I feel ridiculous. It feels familiar. Like old times. I always felt this way every time I knew I'd see her.

When I _finally_ arrive, I tell myself to walk slowly toward the door. I ring the doorbell, which seems a little silly because Bella is well aware I'm here. Her vampire senses make it impossible for her not to. She opens the door with a smile on her face, her eyes roaming over me.

"You look nice, Edward."

Me? She is wearing those skinny jeans that are popular right now, knee high boots and a fitted sweater. A midnight blue sweater. Does she remember it was my favorite color on her? Or is that a coincidence? Her hair is hanging loose around her shoulders. I think my jaw dropped open, but I can't be sure.

"Edward? You'd better stop looking at me like that if you want to go out..."

I smile at her, snapping out of it, and lean down to kiss her. "You look gorgeous, love, like always." I tell her.

"Thank you. And thank you for the flowers. They brought back good memories..." She smiles again, looking lost in thought.

I kiss her again because I can't help myself and put my arm around your waist. "Ready?"

Bella nods and I walk with her hand in mine to the car, opening her door for her. She smiles up at me before getting in.

"So where are you taking me, anyway?"

_Home, where you belong. _I want to say. "To the carnival. That Fall festival is going on in town." I shrug, smirking at her. "I thought it would be fun and we can talk...about things."

She nods, biting her lip. "Perfect."

She slides into her seat, smiling up at me as I close her door. As I walk around the car to my side, it dawns on me - _This is the first date we've been on since we got married_.


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: We still don't own it. **

**Sorry we're late. Between schedules and writer's block, it took a little longer than usual to turn this one out. **

**We hope you enjoy it! Please leave us a review.**

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**BELLA POV**

We spent the drive downtown talking about Renesmee's eating habits (regular these days), sleep pattern (only after Jacob has read multiple chapters of Harry Potter), schooling (home school for now until the growing slows down more), and general overall well-being (thriving lately, but with a bit more sass). Edward parked the car and like a perfect gentleman, opened the door for me. The first half hour or so was spent walking hand in hand and not really talking.

I can't help but be disappointed when he drops my hand. In an instant, his arm is around me and his mouth at my ear. "I thought you might be cold..."

I grin and shiver slightly, not from the cold but from the proximity of _him._

He keeps his lips on my ear. "What do you want to do first, love?"

I really want to tell him that first, I want him to kiss me.

Instead I say, "Win me something?" and nod toward the ring toss.

Edward steps back, releasing my waist and grabbing my hand again, leading me to the game. "And what do I get?"

I laugh and squeeze his hand. "Depends what you win for me."

"Which one do you want?"

I tap a finger to my lips, considering all of the options hanging against the back wall of the booth. "The biggest one, the panda bear eating the ice cream cone." I point to the large stuffed animal in case for some reason he has overlooked it.

He chuckles, kissing my temple. "Bella, what on earth are you going to do with that?"

I shrug, grinning. "Cuddle with it on lonely nights?"

"Do you plan on having many of those?" Edward cocks his eyebrow, giving me that crooked smile.

I look away for a moment and know that I would be blushing if I could. "That all depends on if you win it or not, now doesn't it?"

"If you having the bear means you are spending your nights with it instead of with me, just forget it." He drops my hand to cross his arms stubbornly.

My heart drops to my stomach. He may be saying it playfully, but what he's talking about is serious. My mind races. Us together overnight?

He mumbles, looking away, "I mean, if you'd rather the bear, let's go get it..."

He took my silence and deer in the headlights look the wrong way. I step in front of him and lean up on my toes to kiss the corner of his mouth. "There are two sides of me, you know. You could be on one, and my new panda bear on the other. Or do you not think you can win it?"

Edward visibly relaxes. "What if I don't want to share you? What if after too much time apart, I want you all to myself?"

I smile and lean back on my heels, tugging gently on his sweater. "That would be hard, considering I come with a plus one... and a dog."

He laughs loudly, before clearing his throat, and trying hard to keep a straight face. "I don't mind sharing you with Renesmee in the least...Jacob on the other hand..."

I tug my bottom lip between my teeth, still smiling. "At least you don't have to worry about him kissing me anymore."

Edward growls under his breath, his voice quiet, but even. "Did you kiss anyone while you were away, Bella?"

The question surprises me and I feel the smile disappear from my face. "You are joking, aren't you?"

He sighs, pulling me to a nearby bench with him. After we sit down together, he says, "I want to know about your time away, Bella. Did you ever think about coming back? To me?"

I try to lighten the mood, looking down at our linked hands. "I guess you're avoiding trying to win me that bear hmm?" When I look up he's staring intently at me, obviously not in the mood to side step this any longer.

"Edward you know I _still_think about coming back. In a way it would make everything so much easier..." I take an unneeded breath and turn my focus back on our linked hands, lowering my voice. "What happens if you don't want us again?"

He closes his eyes, shaking his head. " I never didn't want you, Bella." He opens his eyes and looks me right in the eye. "Never."

I swallow hard. "You didn't want her though."

"Bella...I never dreamed her possible. I know that's probably hard for you to understand...Hell it's hard to explain now...If I knew...Things would have been much easier. For all of us. I came up with the worst scenario possible, and she was the personification of it...She didn't deserve that and neither did you."

I squeeze his hand and give him a small smile, hesitating before speaking again. "She never thought you abandoned her or didn't love her, Edward. Please know I never tried to make her hate you."

He nods, "I know that, Bella..." He sucks in a sharp breath. "I'm sorry for making you feel like you needed to leave." He looks at the ground, as if he's studying his shoe. "I know I hold a lot of the blame for that."

"I should have trusted you. I shouldn't have assumed the worst." I wait until he looks up at me to continue. "I obviously wasn't in my right mind, befriending Rosalie of all people."

I see his lips forming a smile. "Good point." He looks down again, messing with my fingers. "Bella, I should tell you about what happened after you left..."

I want to run and not hear this, but I know I have to. Is he trying to tell me something happened? Is that why he asked if I had kissed anyone? Because he has?

He rubs the back of his neck, keeping his head hanging low. "When I found out you were gone...I lost it..." His voice trails off.

I trace my thumb across the back of his hand that I'm still holding and wait for him to continue, expecting the worst.

"I just...lost myself, I suppose. I couldn't cope and I disappeared...I didn't speak, didn't move...Carlisle took to feeding me bags of blood from the hospital. I should have been stronger. I should have found you in Alaska...I failed you twice. First by closing myself off to you and the baby. Second by shutting down instead of bringing you home. I was like that for months...Carlisle was beside himself. He couldn't figure it out. There was no logical explanation for a vampire to get like that. Rose and Emm moved away from us for a while. I guess I came out of it long enough to attack her..." He looks ashamed.

I feel my hand come up to my cover my mouth. This isn't I wasn't prepared for.. "Oh, Edward..."

After a few moments I drop my hand and place my palm to his chest. "I'm sorry that I caused you to go through that, I truly am."

He shakes his head. "It's my own fault, Bella. I drove you away."

I scoot closer on the bench, practically in his lap as I slide my hand up his chest over the smooth fabric of the sweater he's wearing. "In reality, Rose drove me away." I give him a small smile and push my lips to his, not able to find the words to tell him what I want to say.

Within seconds his hands are in my hair and one of my legs is draped over both of his, our mouths moving in perfect synchronization together. The sounds, the smells, the people all disappear. There's just the two of us.

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**EDWARD POV**

I almost forgot we were in public. If it hadn't dawned on me where we were, I would be getting carried away right now. I'd have taken her right here - In the middle of the festival, on the park bench. So much for discretion. Since I have realized where we are, I pull back, kissing Bella lightly one more time on the lips.

"I love you, Bella. I always have and I always will."

She leans up kissing me yet again. "I love you too, Edward."

"Come on, love. We have a panda to win." She laughs, and I can't hold back a smile.

I restrain myself and continuously remind myself to act human, tossing the little rings at the bottles, trying not to shatter them with my superhuman strength. I easily win the panda for Bella and an equally enormous pink bear for Nessie. How are we going to get both of these monstrosities home in my car?

We decide to go on the ferris wheel, and head in that direction, Bella carrying her panda and leaving me with the big pink bear. I can hear the thoughts of everyone around us laughing at me. I'm too thrilled that I am here with my wife to care. I'm already annoyed with the bears. I can't hold Bella's hand or get close to her with them in our arms.

"Bella, love. Give me the panda. I'm taking them to the car. Wait here." I grab the panda from her, carrying both bears, unable to see around them. I snicker at the thoughts surrounding me, and walk as fast as I can, still passing for a human. I'm anxious being away from Bella, even for a few minutes.

After shoving the bears into the backseat, I hurry back toward the ferris wheel, looking around for Bella. I inhale the air, seeking out her scent. It's there, but there are so many people and all the various food booths, it's faint and I'm an awful tracker. I search the thoughts of everyone in my vicinity, knowing they would have noticed Bella if they'd seen her. They would have made mental note either of her beauty or of the uneasy feeling that comes with encountering our kind. I feel her before I see her.

"Come here often, handsome?" She purrs in my ear.

I turn into her, pulling her against me and kissing her before releasing her and grabbing her hand to pull her to the line. I realize I've never done anything like this as a vampire. I don't recall whether I was ever at a fair before that. When it's our turn, we get into the passenger car of the ferris wheel, the operator closing the door behind us.. Bella sits across from me, smiling ear to ear. It's contagious.

"What?" She pushes her hair behind her ear, getting self conscious that I'm watching her.

"Don't fidget, Bella. I was just thinking that you look happy. And beautiful. Come here."

She moves to my side of the compartment, sitting across my lap. "Are you alright, love? Is there anything else you want to talk about?" I ask her.

She throws her arms around my neck, pressing her forehead to mine. "How about this, Edward? How about we forgive each other and leave the past in the past?"

"Really?" I cannot hide my surprise. I've forgiven Bella, forgiving myself is a whole other issue.

She talks in between kissing my lips. "Really." Kiss. "I." Kiss. "Love." Kiss. "You." Kiss. "We." Kiss. "Deserve." Kiss. "To." Kiss. "Be." Kiss. "Happy." Kiss. "Let's." Kiss. "Just." Kiss. "Be." Kiss. "Happy."

I smile against her lips, wrapping my arms around her waist and pulling her closer to me and murmur, "I love you too."

I trace my tongue along her bottom lip before nipping it, and Bella moves to straddle my lap, kissing me deeply. We moan together, alternating between hard and soft, never breaking our kiss. She grinds against me and I growl, holding onto her hips as she presses her chest to mine. We are both oblivious to the world around us.

We are pulled from our reverie by a clearing throat. "Sir? Ma'am? Ride's over." Bella buries her face in my neck, giggling and I laugh with her, making our apologies as we stand and slip off the ride. We hear him mumble as we walk away, "Teenagers!" This only makes the both of us laugh harder.

We spend the rest of the evening in the same manner...going on rides, talking and kissing. We are both reluctant to admit it when it gets late, but we know we should get back to the house to get Nessie and Jacob home. I'm not sure what happens then, and I'm too afraid to ask. As we walk closer to the car hand in hand, we both start laughing seeing the ominous shadows of the huge bears in the backseat.

I play with Bella's fingers as I walk around to her door, opening it for her. "I had a great time tonight, Edward. Who knew you could be so much fun?" She grins mischievously at me.

I smile back at her, "I guess you just bring out the best in me, love...I had a nice time too." I lean down and kiss her softly, closing the door behind her after she gets in. I walk around to my side, chuckling to myself, thinking about the evening. Bella melts into my side as soon as I get into the car. I kiss her hair and fight the urge to ask her "What now?"

She sighs happily, trailing her fingers down my chest and over my stomach, grabbing onto my sweater. "Edward, come home with us...I know it may seem fast, but we're married. We should be a family."

I pull out of the parking lot, looking down at her wide eyed. "Are you serious, Bella?"

She misunderstands my hesitation. "You're right, it's too soon."

"No!" I blurt hastily. "No! It's not too soon. It's much too late. We've been married for over four years, and we've never lived as man and wife."

She puts her fingers under my sweater on my stomach. "Maybe tonight we can go for a hunt?" She leans up, nibbling my earlobe. Groaning and shifting in my seat, I drive out of town heading back toward the house.

Suddenly, their thoughts invade my mind. I gasp, my entire body going stiff. I press the gas harder, needing to get home. Now.

Bella sits up straight. "Edward? What's wrong?"

I look over at her, my eyes wide. "It's the Volturi. They're here."


End file.
